my attitude stinks

LegacyUser

i've been having problems with this girl i really like for a few years now. she comes out with a few friends to the pub now and then and we have our little small talk
but then it turns into something horrible (every time nearly). we don't really get on. simple enough i suppose. but it's completly my fault because of the way i act.
usually i can go out with a fewfriends and their girlfriends and have a great time and their gf's like me and im charming and all of that but maybe that's because i know they are off limits. with this girl i can't think clearly, i resort to this childish "game" we play. it's 100% because i'm embarressed and nervous around her. I want her to like me but i can't seem to do anything. I never get like this usually. it's like playground "ill hit you because i like you" nonsense. Im not the best looking guy but i know girls like me because i can be funny and interesting but she'll never know that because i'm a bumbling sarcastic idiot with her. Can anyone help me with regards what to do. she's not a close friend, more a friend of a friend but i'd like to get to know her and we DO share similar interests and humor when we aren't at each others neck lol! It's driving me crazy !! my friends would probably think i'm nuts if i told them how i really felt. i'll be seeing her again soon as she'll be at a gig and i say i
im going to start it up again, my friends would laugh if i changed my attitude as they think i don't like her (because i say as much god i'm an idiot)

spurious

Are you just that way with her when you are in a group?

Have you tried asking her to go out with you (on your own)?

Nevyn

Sounds like you fancy her... ask her out for coffee and don't be defensive to the point of being a prick.

oulu

Ok so you really like this girl chances are she also likes you, been there worn the T shirt,people always said he is a funny bloke etc really lucky girl ends up with him, but when ever a certain girl was there I used to start stutted and then just say what ever came to mind just to have something to say and it was usually xxxxing stupid, but then I started chating to her more on me own hanging back from the crowd with her, then one day I said to her I like you her first words back where I thought I annoyed you, I said you do but I still like you and think about you alot. then the words I waited to hear from her came she said I like you to,I could not believe what I was hearing then it happened we kissed and God could of taking me there and then and I would have died the happiest man in the world. So my advice to you is to tell her woman like that type of stuff and ask her out, or buy 2 tickets for a gig, remember if you dont ask her out someone else will

LegacyUser

yes i do fancy her but i don't get that from her. maybe but i don't see it.,, it would be nice to talk to her on her own but i usually only see her with other people and she prob wouldn't want to meet up with me.
i've sabotaged myself basically. there are so many things i want to talk about she seems very interesting and passionate about things i like (as am i of course ) i need to think about what i should do. maybe just try restrain myself but i don't want to slip behind yet another fake veneer. she might think it weird if i was nice all of a sudden.

oulu

Look the girl I ended up with that time had told all that I was a pain and she did not like me, but she did if this girl is having chats with you does not matter what the chats are about it means she is interested, Look what age are you I am guessing under 21, You live once and if now start been nice people will think u have gone mad or whatever (so What) I think you need to grow up a little take the nettle in hand and if I was you I would arrange throught friends if you cant just ask her straight out to let it slip to her that she has an admiror of the most unlikly. Look look next time you see her try be your self ask her what does she want to drink, maybe give her your last rolo. Stand up and be a man the worst that can happen is she says no and the best well you know

LegacyUser

im nearly 23 so yeah, it's worse than you think anyway I've decided to just try act normal, see if i can have a normal conversation about normal things without resorting to mind games. it would be horrible if it didn't work though.

oulu

Honesty is the best policy, remember the fact that you both get yourself in these situation's is a clear indicator that there are under currents, dont always be waiting for you guys to meet through friends ,as I said life is to short for mind games and all that Bull****, it is simple if you like her than go for it,best to know than always wondering what might be

childish wrote:

im nearly 23 so yeah, it's worse than you think anyway I've decided to just try act normal, see if i can have a normal conversation about normal things without resorting to mind games. it would be horrible if it didn't work though.

Grem

She'll definitely be suspicious if you start acting nice when taking the pi$$ / being sarcastic to each other is what u usually do when together.

But she might like the different you.

Dont mind your friends, let them think whatever they want. If they know you like this girl they'll be supportive and after the initial pi$$take they'll shut up and let you get on with trying to get it on.

Black Swan

Makes a case for "How opposites attract?" Not all bad news, though, considering what the French often say, "Long live the difference." Oh, so much for being cliche'. Obviously you are attracted to, and like her. Try to chill out. Relax. Don't hurry it. Mention those common interests that you both share. Listen to her, I mean, really listen to her. Give her your complete and undivided attention. One good thing about listening, is that it makes you attractive to the other person, and better yet, when we are listening, it reduces the chance of saying something sarcastic or otherwise foolish. Listen to her. Toss in a word or two just to keep her talking about those common interests. Listen.

LegacyUser

so a bit of a story to tell you all now. I got talking to her on her own. i said more or less in a round about way that I don't dislike her and im just messing. and she was kind of "put astray" by that as she said. "yeah i thought that but i din't know how to react, it was weird". so we got talking abut why that happened and stuff. and why "people" in general act like that. we put it down to not being comfortable around certain people for various reason. i asked her out for a drink saying "we should actuall try and know each other" and we had a little dance. but yeah, it's going ok, and i'm going to ring her tokorrw/ Sorry i've been drinking a bit. but i'm REALLY happy now.! thanks for the advice. Holy crap i can't believe this is happening you know! heh!