Attitude to Life?

LegacyUser

Hi. This I think would make an interesting thread and something I wanted to post up here for ages.

My question: Do you think that by having a good/crazy time when you're young, meeting lots of the opposite sex etc., and deciding that you don't want to settle down until you're much older, could mean you may end up with no-one?

Im a male in my early 20's and some of my friends are engaged, others are in serious long-term relationships, where as I just want to have a laugh.

Some posts put on PI in the last while give very different stories. One girl is 21 and is engaged, bought a house with her BF. Another is 32, single and starting to panic about her situation.

I expect a lot of people to respond with stuff like "Well, when you meet the right person" etc. but I think a person's frame of mind can dictate whether they will discover that person.

So, what's your opinion?

Dreamer 7

I never expected to meet my man and settle down so young. I was living life to the fullest , clubbing dancing etc Then by chance he came along when i was 18 and i have been with him ever since . I never planned it, so you never know the day or the hour when it will happen. See thats the beauty of destiny

Velvet Vocals

There's a lot to be said for "getting stuff out of your system" really what that means I guess is knowing that you wont have any regrets in later life. But then if you are lucky enough to meet someone and fall in love and spend the rest of your life with them well then surely you wont have any regrets..... but then that's not necessarlly true. I do think that you can be with the person that you love but still wish that you'd lived a fuller life before you got together.
My advise is that if you've met someone and are thinking about settling down but your only 20 then wait a year... stay together obviously and have fun together but just think about it before getting serious. Then after you've spent that time thinking about it if your still sure you want to go for it then do! It comes down to doing what you feel will make you happy.

McGinty

You've answered the question yourself, you want to enjoy life, we are all different with different needs, maybe your friends like to be settled, you know you enjoy having fun, messing around etc, I am a great believer in just being who you want to be at any given time. I sometimes get the impression that society/media are trying to box us all into various categories ie: demographics of age/marital status/earning potential, etc. I don't see anything wrong in what your doing, you are being true to yourself at the moment, and I agree also that your frame of mind has a huge bearing on what happens in your future.

arctic lemur

I'm settled for the last five years, engaged for the last 2 1/2 and living with my fella and his brother. I never did anything remotely exciting til last yr (im 27) so i went to Canada and NY with my fiance. It was great. Never wanted to travel or anything til after that holida. i have a permanent job. Before that moved from job to job as was never happy til now. I want to take a year out to do masters and then Canada for a year. My fiance is brilliant, so supportive and he wants me to live life and enjoy myself and get it out of the system before we marry. I couldnt ask for a better situation. His brother has travelled the world for most of his 20's and at 31 has settled into a good job and has moved in with us so i think his experiences with Jimmy influenced his liberal views ie encouraging me to be a happy, fulfilled and well balanced person. Its only now I want to get out there and try things and at least i wont be losing my relationship over it. I did not intend to meet my fiance as i was doing my finals and came out of a s***y breakup. But you cant control fate eh?

DOLEMAN

I really don't see the connection between putting off getting married and growing old alone.

I have absolutely no intention on getting married for years (I'm 28) yet I'm absolutely certain I'll find it easy to find "the right person" (they're everywhere) when I feel like settling down.

If, like my friends and me, you stay out and about and have reasonably good + developed social skills, meeting and attracting people is not really a difficult thing...

Maybe I've misunderstood your question..

Black Swan

Early 20s? Relax. Enjoy life. If you find someone along the way, then enjoy life with them in the same manner. If you were female and in your mid-30s, then the biological time clock might be a factor if you wanted children. Otherwise, what's the hurry?

semisleeping

I think it totally depends on you personally. I'm 22 and had been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years when we took a break last october. I was with him all through college and although we had great craic I just felt like I needed some time to be single, on my own and to get the aforementioned 'stuff' out of my system. So I basically went on a mad one for about 6 months (I think I had alcohol in my bloodstream constantly)- cause I think no matter how hard you try, once you are in a relationship you are tied down to a certain extent - well, you are at least answerable to someone anyway and the all nighters ending up in random house parties aren't on.

So I got that out of my system and my ex and I got back together there about 2 weeks ago after our time apart. I know people who have been together since they were in secondary school and are happy out and then others who change partners like they change their socks - it's a total individual thing, if its right for you then do it - who cares about everyone else!