Bit weird?

LegacyUser

I am with an amazing girl atm. I abosultely love her to bits. We have been talking about our future together and we both agree that we are going to spend our lives together. We're not going out too long but we've both never had a relationship like this before.
We were talking about marriage the other day. And I messinly asked her if I proposed to her next year what would she say, and she said seiously she would say yes most definately. Now next year I'll be 17 and she'll be 18.
This got me thinking, and now I really want to start saving for a ring. I know I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life, but would it be a bit weird for us to get engaged next year?

Santa Claus

in love wrote:

We're not going out too long but we've both never had a relationship like this before.

Not meaning to sound condesending but you're only 17 and 18 so how many previous relationships have either of you had ?

You're both very young and your lives will change A LOT over the next 10 years with College/Jobs/etc

in love wrote:

his got me thinking, and now I really want to start saving for a ring. I know I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life, but would it be a bit weird for us to get engaged next year?

With regard to what age to get engaged at, there's no answer to that...when it's right it's right but if you were to leave it till a few years till you had a full time job then obviously it would be easier to afford a ring !

TriWannabe

personally, i would say stay as bf/gf for as long as you guys can handle it (without getting married i mean). if its meant to be you will be together forever whether you get engaged/married or not. you guys have a long life ahead and a lot of things change from 17 onwards. you could always get engaged and married 10 yrs later of course.

Smellyirishman

One question, how long have you been together?

Other than that, I agree with both above sentiments.

Grem

Most people would find it a bit weird but its not unheard of.

My brother got engaged when he was 16 or 17, thought he was gonna be mad about his girlfriend for ever. Didnt happen. They were too young and drifted apart a year or so later.
He considered proposing to another girlfriend about 3 years ago but before he could ask her they broke up - they wanted different things from life.
He is now happily engaged to his perfect match at the ripe old age of 27!

Im not suggesting at all that this would happen with you and your girlfriend but just be cautious. Staying as boyf/girlf and agreeing that you will get engaged when you are a bit older and know each other better would make a lot more sense to me. Going home to your family and telling them that you are engaged at 17 is probably going to cause a lot more hassle than you are prepared for.
If you know you want to be with this girl for the rest of your life then there's no rush to put a ring on her finger.

Good luck though!

Patricide

Dude i would seriously not even consider this option, i am madly inlove with my girlfreind and weve been going out for a year and 9 months and i am pretty dam sure i would stay with her for the rest of my life.

But getting engaged at our ages is just about as stupid as getting a tatoo at 10, you think its all cool at the time but as you grow up who knows whatl happen, i mean you could still like it but theres a greater chance you wont.

If its really meant to be go out with her till your like 20 or so then if your still crazy about her propose then, if your not it was never meant to be in the first place.

BoozyBabe

Congrats on finding someone you love so much, some people go their whole lives without finding it.
By all means save up to buy a ring, well even if it's just saving for the sake of saving & if it's a ring you end up buying, so be it.

BUT, I think I'd wait a few years before actually buying the ring.

I'm not saying it won't happen, but as someone else said, A LOT can change!!

I was in the same situation as yourself.
I met my 1st boyfriend when I was 16, & we went out for 4 years.
We were madly in love (well for most of it anyway), couldn't see enough of each other, had our whole lives planned together, even used to talk about how many children we were going to have etc, & we were deadly serious.

BUT, things change.........

I went to college, he was still at school, then he came to college, he got very lethargic, I wasn't, his interests went in one direction, mine went in another, I finished college & got a job, he was still at college.........

Even though we spent all our time together, we grew into two very different people wanting very different things

I couldn't have imagined my life without him, he was the one for me, I was SO lucky to find my true love you young, etc ,or that's what I thought.

I'm now 26, & I couldn't imagine being with him. We are completely different, our lives have went in completely different directions & when I'm out with him (very occassionally due to mutual friends) I've no feelings for him whatsoever.

I'm not saying that your situation WILL turn out like this, but there's a very good chance it will.
Don't continue the relationship now thinking it's definitely doomed, continue to plan your future together, but I wouldn't write anything in stone for quite a few years yet.
Please also don't think that my feelings couldn't possibly be as strong as what yours are, because they really really were, its just people & circumastances change, & only time will let you see that.

Best of luck anyway.
(What's for you won't go by you)

LegacyUser

I don't wanna sound condescending either, but...

I was in a relationship for 3 years from the age of 16. I was sure we were going to be together forever and all the other stuff you think when you're with your first love. But it ended just before I was 20 because things just got stale. Neither of us wanted to look back and regret college life etc. You never get your youth back. And I know you're gonna say 'well I don't wanna be single, I love her' because I would have said the same thing. &you're also probably thinking 'well this person clearly didn't have a love like mine.' But we were very very much in love and connected on so many levels but it just wasn't at the right time in our lives. If it had happened when we were older I have no doubt we would have made a life together. But it just wasn't to be!

I don't doubt that you love her very much but you're still young and you never know what life is going to throw at you. Don't rush into things, just enjoy the relationship.

Buddy74

Unforunately I was also in this predictment in the exact same circumstances. So don't get engaged if she wants you she'll wait until your in the proper place and time so get married.

I started going with a nice girl but as she 'matured' turned into a selfish ... This was partly my fault as I was to hurry to please her and the relationship became a dictator ship with a mean temper.

there is no hurry

Black Swan

If love be true and for always, then it should still be so in a couple of years. Recommend you continue to date each other for at least a couple more before finalizing your relationship in marriage.

Crea

All is not doom and gloom. My sis met her bf at her intercert disco. They stayed together while he went to college (she didn't - she worked) and when he got a job and they saved a bit of money they got engaged. They were both 23. They were then able to get married soon afterwards and could afford a place of their own. They are now married 13 years this year.
I think getting engaged would be a tie to you both making decisions regarding careers and college.
There is no pressure on you to get engaged so wait until your lives settle a bit before making any decisions.
Best of luck.

Crucifix

Why?

I mean, sure you want to be together forever, but why not just be together forever? You can get married on down the line, for now just enjoy the relationship.

Conar

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

If love be true and for always, then it should still be so in a couple of years. Recommend you continue to date each other for at least a couple more before finalizing your relationship in marriage.

I agree!
Its not like she's going to leave if you don't ask her!
Just enjoy your time together and if you both still feel the same way after you decide where you want to live, careers settle down, college finishes etc then go for it.

Dreamer 7

If it waht you want , go for it. Getting engaged is a big deal but it also give you breathing space to make sure that you both want to get married. I dont think age matters when it comes to this stuff, if you know what you want go for it