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A must before reading lonely hearts

  • 05-06-2006 6:23pm
    #1
    Dec McC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 265 ✭✭


    40-ish..........................................49
    Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic.......................................No breasts
    Average looking............................Mooooooo.
    Beautiful......................................Pathological liar.
    Emotionally Secure........................On medication.
    Feminist.......................................Fat.
    Free Spirit....................................Junkie.
    Friendship first...............................Former Sl*t.
    New-Age.......................................Body hair in the wrong
    places.
    Old-fashioned................................No BJ's.
    Open-minded.................................Desperate.
    Outgoing.......................................Loud and Embarrassing.
    Professional..................................B*tch.
    Voluptuous....................................Very Fat.
    Large frame...................................Hugely Fat.
    Wants Soul mate...........................Stalker.


    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:


    Yes = No
    No = Yes
    Maybe = No
    We need = I want
    I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    We need to talk = You're in trouble
    Sure, go ahead = You better not
    Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about?


    MEN'S ENGLISH:
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10.Can I take you out to dinner? I'd like to have sex with you.
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.


Comments

  • #2
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    Dec McC wrote:
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.

    Always makes me smile!


  • #3
    Donegal Lass
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,356 ✭✭✭Donegal Lass


    Dec McC wrote:
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10.Can I take you out to dinner? I'd like to have sex with you.


    all so funny coz they're true!!:D


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