Txting a girl... a question

LegacyUser

Just a quick question...

You know the old thing about not txtin a girl for a while to keep 'em keen. Well do you girls do it to us fellas too?

Cos I met an amazin girl at the weekend (Sat and Sun), and we were txting a bit on Monday (I sent the first test monday afternoon hehe), but she hasn't txted me back since yesterday

And I keep thinking about her, I'm really keen (although I'm doin my best not to let her know)...

So girls, is this one of your hidden techniques or what? Cos if it is, then it's good

sharonlarkin

Its only wednesday, give her a chance she might be busy. But girls do that too.........and a lot worse;)

LegacyUser

sure, its just that I sent the last msg on Monday evening and maybe she had gone to bed, but I thought she would have txted me back today to reply (I wasn't asking her a question or anything, but I thought she would reply anyway cos it wasn't "conclusive")!

but nothing! and I keep thinking about her...

you girls are terrible!!!

but we're as bad I suppose!

Crucifix

Isn't it tuesday?

Ruu_Old

It is indeed Tuesday, dont worry your head OP. Im sure if shes interested she'll get back to you.

DOLEMAN

Be patient. There is almost certainly a simple reason for her "delayed" reply. And it isn't even delayed really...

She has no credit.
She's busy.
She's has more important things to do in her life.
She's playing hard to get.
etc etc.

You can't control it, so try not to dwell on it.

I have no doubt that she'll text you over the next few days.

WHATEVER YOU DO don't text her tonight "Is everything OK?" or ring her. Give it another day or two.

One thing I've learnt from life is that women have less respect for nice guys. It's a sad fact.

Play it cool, try to stay busy (so you don't think about her) and everything will turn out OK...

And remember. If she doesn't text you ever again, in a few weeks you won't give a damn about this girl, so try not to let your obsessing mess up things in your life!

eskimo

My tip is learn not to obsess in the first place and then the horrible wait will never bother you again!

Step one, start today - put this girl out of your mind and forget about her. It won't be easy to do but in the long run it'll make you a lot stronger. Plenty more girls out there for you!

DOLEMAN

eskimo wrote:

My tip is learn not to obsess in the first place and then the horrible wait will never bother you again!

Good advice.

Anyway, this girl is certainly not as wonderful as your brain currently thinks she is...

Try not to obsess. Much much harder said than done, I know...

Scraggs

Sometimes girls do play these games...

but she could also be out of credit or something...its only tuesday!

Anyway a watched pot never boils;)

WhiteWashMan

txtEr wrote:

sure, its just that I sent the last msg on Monday evening and maybe she had gone to bed, but I thought she would have txted me back today to reply (I wasn't asking her a question or anything, but I thought she would reply anyway cos it wasn't "conclusive")!

but nothing! and I keep thinking about her...

you girls are terrible!!!

but we're as bad I suppose!

oh, youre better of never texting her again.

then she will spend years thinking about you and wanting you, and if you accidently bump into her while backpacking across central australia in 15 years time, she will want to shag you.

and then you can like hold hands and text each other.

wont that be sooooo coool?

fuzzywiggle

txtEr, I would suggest not texting her again until she texts you back! Bit of a turn off IMO. If she doesn't respond then I guess she not interested and if she does, you wont have come across as being too eager!

daiixi

umm, if you like her, call her and ask her out. At least then you'll know whether she's interested in seeing you again or not.

cargrouch

Wait til she texts back. Or leave it til Friday or Saturday and ask her is she heading out wherever you met her last week. If she is then say you might be there too.

Has anyone seen a film called Swingers* (not what you think!), there's a guy in it that, despite the advice of his friend, calls the girl the minute he gets home and leaves a series of increasingly embarassing messages on her voicemail. Don't be that guy!

*Could also be called Made. Same characters, different film, never sure which is which.

Villaricos

ah textin is killing romance!! i hate the texting game! tis such torture! having said that if she is playin the game then if you sent last text she prob wont text ya til tomorrow.
But when she does text just ask her out, if she texts you she wants you to ask and you obviously do so ask her! saves the torture and tis much better gettin to know her in person that through stupid text messages!
Id much prefer a guy that just asked me out than spent ages texting, id get bored with that waaay too easy and stop texting back!

MrPinK

cargrouch wrote:

Has anyone seen a film called Swingers*

I was thinking the exact same thing.

Wait two days, then call her. Make a little small talk, ask her how her week's been, etc. Maybe flirt a little if you're good at it, then ask her out. No more texting, unless you like sitting around watching your phone waiting for it to beep.

Or maybe wait three days. Three days is kind of money. What a great film actually, must pick up the DVD.

Chucky the tree

My desperation detector has just blown up..

LegacyUser

Catch her off guard,call her at 4 in the morning

mrsinnnn

mrsinnnn wrote:

Catch her off guard,call her at 4 in the morning

And breath heavily down the phone saying things like, "do you like pornos? 'Cause you're in one!" Or something along those lines.

But I have never understood this whole "keep 'em keen" rule. Does it ever actually work whatsoever??

muppetkiller

Deleted User wrote:

And breath heavily down the phone saying things like, "do you like pornos? 'Cause you're in one!" Or something along those lines.

But I have never understood this whole "keep 'em keen" rule. Does it ever actually work whatsoever??

HAHA class ...
Seriously though ..I had a similar situation and decided not to waste my time on her ...headed out the following weekend met a nice wee lady ...
Then out of the blue woman no 1 texted me back asking how my weekend was ...I replied "Great met a really nice girl.." and continued with small talk. Finished by saying I'd probably meet her out some time..
Next day she calls and wants to meet up lol..so we're going for drinks tomorrow night again...

Women are evil and will play games ...:D

Femelade

women can play them as much as guys. she is either not interesed od playing a game. all you can do is wait and find out...dont txt her again...

Talliesin

Deleted User wrote:

But I have never understood this whole "keep 'em keen" rule. Does it ever actually work whatsoever??

People who don't maintain a certain degree of contact are best avoided.

People who obsessively contact you every 5 minutes when you've only been on one date are best avoided.

Some people set rules in the mind as to how many texts how often to avoid seeming like either of the two types of people above. Not as good as developing social skills, but not the worse way of doing these things either.

LegacyUser

she did end up txtin back yesterday eve (hour or two after my last msg here!), then I waited until night and replied with a jokey txt sayin maybe I should ring. she responds first thing this morning saying yes, a chat would be nice!

so I took the power back, and sent back another kinda jokey txt kinda slaggin her, and say that I may ring her "sometime". that was this afternoon.

so how long should I take now until i ring her?? ... I have the power now. the longer I make her wait, the better?

if I've learnt anything over the years about girls, the more you annoy them, the more it drives them wild (even though they won't admit to this)! maybe I should leave her waiting days....

daiixi

What's with all the games?! Either you like each other or you don't!!!

Seraphina

what are you, 12?
i'd have ignored you a long time ago. ****ing moronic women, i hate all this 'mind games' ****e.
quit playing around, she will get bored of the games sooner or later. and if she doesnt, well then you're in for a real mature relationship :rolleyes:

Chucky the tree

txtEr wrote:

she did end up txtin back yesterday eve (hour or two after my last msg here!), then I waited until night and replied with a jokey txt sayin maybe I should ring. she responds first thing this morning saying yes, a chat would be nice!

so I took the power back, and sent back another kinda jokey txt kinda slaggin her, and say that I may ring her "sometime". that was this afternoon.

so how long should I take now until i ring her?? ... I have the power now. the longer I make her wait, the better?

if I've learnt anything over the years about girls, the more you annoy them, the more it drives them wild (even though they won't admit to this)! maybe I should leave her waiting days....

Give it a year.


Yes, the more you annoy girls the more they like it. So when your out on your date dont forget to pull her hair and throw chewing gum in her hair. She'll be gagging for it then.

Nevyn

Chucky the tree, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

eskimo

Don't listen to the ignorant twats who are being harsh a-holes. You're clearly not used to finding someone you think you could really like and you'd just like some direction, which is completely natural and you have every right to seek some advice!

I think the verdict is that you need to forget about playing stupid games and just go for it. It's all about whether you're into each other or not - it's got absolutely NOTHING to do with who can play the best mind games.

Don't be scared, but just be well aware that there's every chance it may go absolutely nowhere.... It's just less harsh that way if you acknowledge this beforehand!

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

LegacyUser

I seriously hope you're under the age of 18. Games to manipulate how someone feels about you are for kids and losers. Just be yourself.

Talliesin

txtEr wrote:

so how long should I take now until i ring her?? ... I have the power now. the longer I make her wait, the better?

This whole question only makes sense if:

1. You are stroking your ego by playing her along, and will soon move onto doing the same with someone else, because the more girls played-along the greater the ego-boost
2. She's got lots of money and not much sense, and you're a grifter

In either case I don't really think we should help you.

If you actualy like this person, maybe you should treat them as someone you like. Show a bit of respect. Respond to texts when they come, and start new ones when they're relevant (like if you hear of a gig you might like to go to with her). Don't badger her every hour of the day, but don't ignore her.

Really, if a friend sent you and SMS would you go "oh, now maybe I'll respond in 1.34 weeks time"? Would you do so with an aquaintance? Why treat a possible partner, or even just a possible shag, with less respect than you would an aquaintance?

Thats true. There shouldn't be any sort of waiting period when txting someone whatsoever. Because the person might just lose interest, then you've missed your chance.

Also, this whole keep em keen thing is really disrespectful towards anyone, whether they be men or women in my opinion.

LegacyUser

the point is, whether you believe it or not, if you meet someone in the pub, they more then likely judge you on your first few texts. if you come across as needy, they will ignore you. if you play it cool, they will probably have more respect for you. nothing to do with mind games. If you met a friend of a friend, that wouldn't happen.

So what i want to know is "When" they do txt you back, how long should you wait before you reply?

Gateway

Thaedydal wrote:

Chucky the tree, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Why did you pick on Chucky the tree's post and not WhiteWashMan's, there both sarcastic posts?

WhiteWashMan's wrote:

oh, youre better of never texting her again.

then she will spend years thinking about you and wanting you, and if you accidently bump into her while backpacking across central australia in 15 years time, she will want to shag you.

and then you can like hold hands and text each other.

wont that be sooooo coool?

and

Chucky the tree wrote:

Give it a year.

Yes, the more you annoy girls the more they like it. So when your out on your date dont forget to pull her hair and throw chewing gum in her hair. She'll be gagging for it then.

Is it to do with post counts? or balls?

DOLEMAN

txtEr wrote:

she did end up txtin back yesterday eve (hour or two after my last msg here!), then I waited until night and replied with a jokey txt sayin maybe I should ring. she responds first thing this morning saying yes, a chat would be nice!

so I took the power back, and sent back another kinda jokey txt kinda slaggin her, and say that I may ring her "sometime". that was this afternoon.

so how long should I take now until i ring her?? ... I have the power now. the longer I make her wait, the better?

if I've learnt anything over the years about girls, the more you annoy them, the more it drives them wild (even though they won't admit to this)! maybe I should leave her waiting days....

OK... I take it you're very young or very ununsed to being in romantic situations...

While it is true that not acting too keen generally is a good thing, seeing this girl as some kind "enemy" and playing a game to win her over to your side is... not very nice really.

Treat her like you'd treat anyone else in a non-romantic situation. You get on with your life, you text and ring them sometimes, and you meet them sometimes. You don't need to play games. At least not to the extent you think you need to.

txtEr wrote:

Is it to do with post counts? or balls?

You're obviously new around here Being a mod is more about personal grudges than being fair. No point complaining about it, the owners of boards.ie don't care.

DOLEMAN

DOLEMAN wrote:

She has no credit.

To the OP:
Go into your online banking and put €5 into her phone(its simple to do if you have that set up and you can do it to any prepay number) and then text that you've done that but with some funny comment thrown in (spend some time thinking of that one)

If theres no reply after say 2 days,send another one asking if she's ok and tell her that its ok if she doesnt want to talk/text to you anymore(at this stage its break or make)

She'll either not reply or clear up whether she wants to stay talking to you or not.
If not move on.
If she replied to the 1st text after you gave her the credit and she's talking away to you well then you are in business and take it from there

WhiteWashMan

Talliesin wrote:

If you actualy like this person, maybe you should treat them as someone you like. Show a bit of respect.

thats pretty much the best bit of advice ive ever seen on this forum.

LegacyUser

"If you actualy like this person, maybe you should treat them as someone you like. Show a bit of respect. "

i do, and that's all very well. but I'm not young, I've been through many different relationships. And I've always been genuine and nice and sincere - totally open - but often by doing this, ladies don't find it as interesting. The results have not been as good. I've tried other things, such as mucking around by delaying txting back, sending "cool" and "ininterested" messages etc. and it has worked a treat. Even to the extent where one girl told me I came across as a total asshole in my txt messages and she didn't like them.. yet, this girl couldn't get enough of me, and I neded up being the one who ended the relationship. In past relationships, where I always played the "nice guy", I often ended up being the one who got hurt...

I'm a romantic at heart, and most relationships move out of the whole "game playing " bull**** pretty fast, and into the realm of real romance and mutual respect and adoration. But that *does not* change the reality of the fact that men and women play games. It happens. Face up to it. In the early stages of finding a partner and getting them interested in you, it is vital. You might hate it, but it's there... Maybe you aren't in on this, but there is an enture community in the US devoted to learning "The Game" and they have proven techniques that work. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060554738/sr=8-1/qid=1149541186/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-4674768-7551134?%5Fencoding=UTF8

It's a war out there.. put on your helmets

Cinamon Girl

I think there is a difference between the 'games' men and women play and actually messing with someone. Sincere people will play the game to find out if the other one is genuine. But don't try to figure out if they are playing games or not just be sincere yourself and you will eventually meet a likeminded person.

AngryAnderson

On that note - the minute she starts to play games, dump her. Trust me, there are plenty of emotionally mature, psychologically adjusted women out there. Although they seem to be in the minority (the same goes for men) you will find that there are plenty of potential partners out there who aren't utter retards and won't behave as such. Girls (and guys) who play 'mind games' are furking degenerates and anyone who tolerates them is as bad and deserves it. Maintain your dignity, people. :cool:

nobodythere

Texts get fscking annoying no matter how much you like someone. And someone who texts you and is all "TEXT BACK TEXT BACK!!!" is super fscking annoying.


You can like someone without talking to them/seeing them for a few days.

In fact that's the way it's been for millions of years.

Up until the last 10.

DOLEMAN

txtEr wrote:

I'm not young...I've tried mucking around by delaying txting back, sending "cool" and "ininterested" messages etc. and it has worked a treat. Even to the extent where one girl told me I came across as a total asshole... I neded up being the one who ended the relationship.

there is an enture community in the US devoted to learning "The Game" and they have proven techniques that work. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060554738/sr=8-1/qid=1149541186/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-4674768-7551134?%5Fencoding=UTF8

It's a war out there..

I'm sorry, but you are not ready to be let near a woman. You've completely missed the point of relationships...