How do you know...

LegacyUser

whether the relationship is going anywhere or that you should just end it??

I don't know whether it's because I'm fed up and tired or that it should just be finished...

I live about 2 hours away from my boyfriend so I don't get to see him every day.. a lot of the time it's every 2 weeks or so. But it's always me getting the bus to him and organising changing shifts so I can go up to him. It just seems like he's not making as much effort as I am.

I want him to meet my parents, and we're going away soon so it would probably put my parents at ease if they meet who I'm going away with. But he keeps making excuses- work etc. He doesn't seem to want to even try to make an effort to meet them, or come see me.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm his girlfriend just for the sake of saying he has a girlfriend and to show the mates every now and again that he has a bird.

I dunno, maybe I'm overreacting but sometimes it just feels abit one sided. I don't know what to do? End it or talk to him? I'm just really upset at the moment.

LegacyUser

Hey,

I was in the exact same situation last year so I can understand the frustration that you are feeling. It all boils down to one question really-do you care enough about the guy to give it one last shot?? You definitely need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. You didn't mention how long you are together for so it is hard to judge whether he thinks its too early to meet your parents or if there is another reason.

I personally know of a couple who lived 4 hours drive away from each other, got engaged and were still only seeing each other once/twice a month but 3 years later are happily married.....it wasn't easy for them ...far from it but both partners were willing to be in the effort to make the relationship work.

In my own situation unfortunately things didn't work out and like you it was because the relationship was so one sided. I did most of the running but you get to a point where you say enough is enough.

I really hope you have better luck....

Gateway

Have you tried telling your boyfriend this? Sometimes us bloke make any excuse not to meet the parents.

Sony

sounds very unfair - maybe a bit one sided relationship but gateway is right , a lot of blokes try to put off meeting the parents for as long as possible

I never hide away from it myself but i still HATE having to do it (prefer to do it early and get it over with!) - the only reason I go with it is obviously for the girls sake so he should at least do this for you in fairness

Have a word with him

hill

Tell him, don't whine or moan, just be calm and explain your discontent.

The_B_Man

or dont ask him to come down when hes after finishin work. he'll be tired and in a lazy mood. ask him early in the mornin. or when hes relaxed or drunk or some such.

im assumin he has no car?
if i was the fella, i'd be imagining an uncomfortable weekend of eating dinner at the kitchen table gettin grilled bout my intentions with their beloved daughter and gettin judged on my career prospects etc.

though in sayin that, he might just like his freedom and enjoy a dial-a-shag. thats only if its a new relationship though ie less than 3 months.

or, (i just had a brainwave) you could wait til next time ur having sex, then at the exact moment hes finished, ask him to come down. i got snared by that so it works. like hes hardly gonna say NO, now is he?

ps if u use that trick, i shall have to resort to using one of them Men In Black memory wipers coz that is a very powerful piece of information, especially in the wrong hands!!

eoinzy

Wurly

he may not even be aware of how he is making you feel. Tell him!!!

Ickle Magoo

Talk to him first and if you are not happy with what he says, then end it....best of luck

Wing Walker

I think the most important thing is to ask yourself one question; am I happy with how things are at the moment? Once you can answer that (probably with help from himself) then try and deal with the other stuff. All relationships need work and long distance or weekend to weekend ones need more than most. I know how you feel.

Best of luck.

eskimo

I was in a similar relationship for a few months a couple of years ago and it can be horribly frustrating and not always enjoyable. It sounds like your heart is not in this relationship even 50% never mind 100% but I think it's time to admit it to yourself - it's time to end it and get on with your life, don't waste any more time on this.

If in the future you live nearer each other then maybe give it a decent go. For now however, you're draining yourself emotionally and flogging a dead horse.

Best of luck whatever you decide anyway.

Laguna

My 2c is that if one is analysing and justifying to themselves reasons to keep a relationship going, the relationship is already over but the person doesn't want to take the next step. If it was *madly in love*, these thoughts wouldn't even enter your mind.