Topics of conversation with a girl....

rosso1977

hey there, needing some help here. I've been crazy about this girl at work for some time now. We're not that close, just colleagues. We speak everyday but mostly just workstuff.

Thing is, there's dinner and drinks with some other of our workmates later this week and she'll be there too. I plan to, how'd you say, 'get to know her' better then, trying to gauge her interest level.

my problem is that i have absolutely no ability to make small talk ever! I never know what to say in the company of friends or strangers. I usually just to wait for someone else to start a topic of conversation or something...

anybody got any suggestions on what to say?

cheers

Gordon

If you don't like small talk go for the type of talk that you want to talk about. You know those things that slosh around your brain on a day to day basis? Well share them with her! Don't forget to screen everything past your logic and obscenity filters first though, you don't want her to see your dirty underwear while she's having her pasta.

rosso1977

thanks but like what ? I mean, my 2 passion are football and the gym. I dont think she'd be interested in why i think taking Theo Walcott to the WC is a big mistake...or the fact that I can bench press more than my own weight....

Aura

Talk to her about her interests too and hopefully you'll find common ground outside of work...

Good luck,

A

Hermione*

Try asking her her plans for the weekend or how she likes to spend her spare time, hopefully you'll have an interest in common that you can discuss.

Do not talk about football though, unless she's also into it!

Hope you have a great night.

Crash

Complement her on her boobs. women like that apparently.

Note: do not do this :P

just remember one thing, no matter what you say, DO NOT talk about the weather. seriously.

Crucifix

Films?

LegacyUser

You never know she might actually be into football - I know a good few girls who are!

Static M.e.

Try to find something that she is interested in, look at her desk (dont get caught) and you might see something. You can talk to her about that.

Try and listen not just hear what she is saying and talk about that.

Again I would ask her what her plans are for the weekend.
If she mentions anything out of the ordinary say something like
" ohh that sounds interesting, how do you that..."
"Thats sounds like fun.."

Something like that, just let her talk and keep interested.

rosso1977

thanks for the tips guys...the weather is a bad idea, i agree.....films sounds like a good one...

coffee_cake

Yeah
ask if she has seen the da vinci code
that'll open up a lot

rosso1977

bluewolf wrote:

Yeah
ask if she has seen the da vinci code
that'll open up a lot

I actually thought about that one !! maybe i can rant about how crap it was....or maybe she'll do it..

Make a comment about something. Say a film. Then ask her whether or not she knows of this. Say whatever comes to your mind first. Well, what I mean is.. say whatever comes to your mind after you've actually thought about it a tiny bit. But try not to analyse what you want to say too much, because then you'll only doubt yourself.

You can always ask this girl questions about herself.. say for instance:
- favourite movies, music, books etc.
- her childhood (perhaps, this is a little debatable)

supergirl2

Films as suggested above, say a few jokes, most embarrassing moments, worst dates, holidays, books, cars, claim to fames, music, what posters you pinned up years ago.....

BaZmO*

I find it strange that you would think about the topics of conversation in advance. Like asking her if she's seen the Da Vinci Code? Like WTF? What if she just says no? It's better to just let the conversation happen.
You work with her so start talking about work and then let the conversation naturally progress into any manner of topics. Find out her interests, place where she worked previously, where she goes for a drink with her friends, etc., etc. Ask her just general and let the conversation flow from there. Stay away from pre conceived subjects cos you'll just end up sounding like Pat Kenny doing an interview!!

Zulu

You ant to find out about her? - so ask her questions about herself.

Puteq

Ya I think Gordon has given the best answer - talk about anything random, though definitely screening everything past your logic and obscenity filters first (if only I could follow my own advice). Yer right Bazmo about it being a bit strange to actually have picked specific topics, i mean just literally run whatever runs through your mind out your mouth (just remember the filters...) and you'll never have a quiet moment.

Though i hear women like a guy who shows interest in them so maybe a bit of 'what will you be up to over the weekend' or 'wow that sounds interesting' to something she says will go far too

rosso1977

Puteq wrote:

Ya I think Gordon has given the best answer - talk about anything random, though definitely screening everything past your logic and obscenity filters first (if only I could follow my own advice). Yer right Bazmo about it being a bit strange to actually have picked specific topics, i mean just literally run whatever runs through your mind out your mouth (just remember the filters...) and you'll never have a quiet moment.

Though i hear women like a guy who shows interest in them so maybe a bit of 'what will you be up to over the weekend' or 'wow that sounds interesting' to something she says will go far too

hmmm..this stream of consciousness thing can be a good idea....will remember the filters....
tonight's the moment of truth...wish me luck!:)

Puteq

so I have to ask, how'd it go? are you mad at all of us?

LikeOhMyGawd!

"So, do you come here often?"
"What do you drive?"
"Gun to the head, what's your five favourite movies? 5-4-3-2-1 Bang!"

I have a mate who uses all of the above . Theoretically they are they are all no-nos but he does it in a way that girls find amusing. He always gets a least a good conversation but never scores though.

MrJones

ask her is she wearing at underwear,giggity giggity al-rite

rosso1977

Puteq wrote:

so I have to ask, how'd it go? are you mad at all of us?

she didn't bloody turn up !! Was so pissed off it ruined the entire night for me, i left before everyone did in the end... Such a disappointment...i had all my lines planned....damn it....dont think if i will ever have another chance....will be moving to dublin in a few weeks time..

Puteq

bummer dude, sorry to hear that. still, call me a shallow ba$tard, but it is true that there really are plenty more fish in the sea. I am of the opinion that if one chick ain't there, just try and find another one. no wait i phrased that wrong, i meant to say 'when God closes one door, he opens up another'

seriously though, being all old and wise and stuff, I'm tellin ya that if she'd turned up you would've had a good time with her, but when she didn't if you'd dismissed it and maybe come across some other girl and got to know her you might've had just as good a night or better...