Allright or All Rights?

ryshandyr

Hey folks,

I'm interested to see what others think about the below, it's been a dinner table discussion a few times now and has made me question whether or not we as a society are talking about the 'equal' in equal rights...

I would like to take as an example a common instance of a girlfriend slapping her boyfriend.

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In a relationship - is there anything/something that a guy can do that makes slapping him acceptable?

Now before you start with the list of "If he's done/said...." please keep in mind that it's the Ethics of this I'm trying to get at.

For myself I see two distinct viewpoints;

Slapping him is ok if he has done/said X and he 'deserves' it. Where's the rational behind 'deserving' a slap though?

-or-

If the roles were reversed and HE was to hit her then her would likely be liable for physical assault on her - so why should SHE be any less guilty of assault than HE ?

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Edit :: Please keep in mind that I'm not talking about serious physical violence here - more of the drunken slap across the face or heated argument going awry.


Now the important part; The Poll. Please vote.

Thanks

/Rysh

Beruthiel

This is not a PI
B

ryshandyr

Apologies folks then,

Could an admin move it to the correct category please? Maybe to Soc -> Debate unless someone can suggest a better Category ?

/Rysh

Faith

ryshandyr wrote:

If the roles were reversed and HE was to hit her then her would likely be liable for physical assault on her - so why should SHE be any less guilty of assault than HE ?

Because men, in general, are much stronger than women and can cause a lot more damage.

SonOfPerdition

ryshandyr wrote:

Hey folks,
For myself I see two distinct viewpoints;

Slapping him is ok if he has done/said X and he 'deserves' it. Where's the rational behind 'deserving' a slap though?

-or-

If the roles were reversed and HE was to hit her then her would likely be liable for physical assault on her - so why should SHE be any less guilty of assault than HE ?
/Rysh

Violence should be analysed/judged as one 'person' being violent towards another and the gender of each is irrelevant.

Rev Hellfire

Faith wrote:

Because men, in general, are much stronger than women and can cause a lot more damage.

Ahhh yes I see your point. So if I hit you a smack, but don't use all my strength it’s not so bad.

In the eyes of the law both are assault and the defence of sure I'm only a woman wouldn’t cut much mustard.

Zombrex

Faith wrote:

Because men, in general, are much stronger than women and can cause a lot more damage.

True, the argument goes that if a woman slaps a man it doesn't really hurt him, beyond the shock and a little soreness. It's more like giving your brother or a mate a dead arm when you are messing around, ie a bit of pain, but not serious.

But then it is prefectly possible for a man to lightly slap a woman, so that she gets nothing more than a shock and a bit of pain. I still don't think that would be acceptable by most women don't you think?

And it is also possible for a woman to hit a man with such a force it knocks him over, which is a bit more than a light slap. I have seen drunk women on night outs smacking the crap out of guys.

The Corinthian

Faith wrote:

Because men, in general, are much stronger than women and can cause a lot more damage.

Please clarify whether you saying that this is where the ethic originally comes from or that it is acceptable that it exists?

bonkey

ryshandyr wrote:

In a relationship - is there anything/something that a guy can do that makes slapping him acceptable?

"Darling, I want you to slap me."

That's about it.

ryshandyr

Hi Folks again,

Great to see so many responses so soon. Please keep them coming and dont forget to Vote.

/Rysh

Sleepy

The only thing I can think of that makes slapping your partner okay is if they've just slapped you.

Kooli

I never think it's OK for anyone to hit anyone, but I do think there is DEFINITELY a difference between a man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man.

The fact is, a man is stronger, and he should never use this physical strength over his partner to make her feel unsafe or vulnerable.

By hitting her, he is doing just that. It is not just the pain of the hit (as there may not be any), it is the threat. It is a way of making it clear to the woman, or reminding her (even if he doesn't mean to), that he is stronger and can hurt her. The feeling of safety, which should always be there, is gone.

If a woman hits a man, that threat isn't there. He doesn't feel in danger.

And before someone asks what if the woman is bigger and stronger than the man, then I would say that in that situation it is worse for her to hit him.

But again, let me reiterate, I don't think it's EVER OK, and I don't think anyone EVER 'deserves' it.

Faith

I misunderstood the OP's question. I didn't mean that it's more acceptable for a women to hit a man, and I fully understand that many women can do as much damage as men can.

The Corinthian- I meant that that is where the idea comes from that it's more acceptable for a woman to hit a man. However, I don't agree with that myself and I too think that gender is irrelevant when it comes to violence.

simu

bonkey wrote:

"Darling, I want you to slap me."

That's about it.

Ditto tbh.

b3t4

What?? This is seriously a conversation in 2006??

Of course it's wrong, regardless of gender, age difference or whatever else excuse is bandished about.

A.

the_syco

Faith wrote:

Because men, in general, are much stronger than women and can cause a lot more damage.

http://www.amen.ie/reports/27001.htm

therannu

It is NEVER acceptable for a woman in a relationship to slap a man, in a serious way (we all know how much fun playfighting can be...)

Girls, if you feel a man deserves a slap, then he's not worth being with in the first place.

What are the possible reasons for you to slap some bloke? If he's being an as$hole? If he's cheated on you? If he's rude? Stupid? Violent himself?

What is the point of slapping such a man? Just walk away from him. As people in the thread have said already, a woman is not as threatening as a man. What possible use can hitting him have, apart from getting a bit of attention? We don't need that kind of attention, thanks very much.

The urge to smack comes to us all from time to time. The guys that provoke the urge to smack aren't worth the effort.

metrovelvet

Someone may deserve a slap, but that does not mean someone else has the right to administer it.

Faith - i think its not a question of forgiveness but of the "harmlessness" projected onto female physical violence, in that the culture doesnt recognise the destroyer in the feminine. Why it hasnt is beyond me.

So, while two men fighting can provide endless hours of one type of footage [baroom brawls, fistfights etc], a catfight is a turn on.

Not being held responsible for the violence is part of the condescension, Instead of "your under arrest for assault" -it's" my what a feisty little tiger you are." Because we are harmless little creatures, too meek and powerless to cause any real harm.

Dirk Gently

Never mind a slap; it seems to be acceptable practice for women to punch men in the balls these days for very little reason such as getting frustrated because they are loosing an argument. This should be a last course of action and not something handed out lightly. An assult on the balls is like the nuclear option, we know you have it but you should never push the button unless threatened with your own destruction.

Whether it is right or wrong is not the issue, it’s the fact that it’s generally accepted for women to be violent that annoys me. Men must control their urges and bottle up their frustration while women are free to let it all out and act as violently as they wish towards men without any fear of being stigmatised by society. Not saying men should be allowed to act violently but surely in the interests of equality women should have to conform to the same social rules as men.

Maybe Gay Byrne can change society’s attitude to female violence on men after he’s finished changing our attitude to drink driving. He could chair a conference with women from all over the country in attendance handing out tickets for anger management classes for everyone in the audience.

Having said that a few friendly slaps off a nice girlie you fancy is no harm , but when some rough looking stranger girlie comes up to you and wallops you for not playing songs she likes on the pub juke box its a bit much.:mad: