What's missing?

shiv

It is 12 o'clock, but the reverse of the old fairytale. I'm not trying to get home in time; I actually have to be somewhere else. I've got shoes on both of my feet, and I'm decidedly prince-less. Manaically tidying, sprucing the place up, as if a stranger is coming to visit. As if you haven't seen every type of mess and chaos, instead of domestic bliss, inside this apartment for the past six months.

I pick my ego up off the couch, where it is slumped in front of the TV, and empty the fridge of your food: salmon and cottage cheese I bought for you, which you wouldn't have touched anyway. Your brightly coloured packet of cheese slices, which always made me feel slightly absurd at the checkout. The ubiquitous strawberry milk I picked up as a parting gift.

The bathroom and bedroom I don't touch. Turning a circle in the sitting room, I wonder if I will be able to tell what's missing when I come back. What you have come to collect, take away under your arm, never to return. I was never any good at those psychological memory games as a child; there were always too many objects to memorize in the first place. Unless it was obvious and in your face, I could easily not miss most things when they were taken away.

You text when you're finished; an unexpected consideration and an interesting question: does your leaving now equate with me coming home? You answer the requests in my note, which I've wrote on the back of your post. I've propped it up strategically in front of our picture sitting on the hall table. I have not been able to put it away yet, and I don't want you to think I am pining for the just-fresh past.

You say you've set things up so I won't miss an installment of our favourite TV show. You direct me to other diversions I can access if I wish. This thoughtfulness is almost too much to process when I am out and about, trying to mindlessly entertain myself in the midst of bank holiday-happy strangers.

I wonder how much inventory your eyes have taken to gauge how well I'm coping without you.

To your credit, everything looks in its place when I walk back through the door. My sense of order appreciates the small kindness. I can sink back in, internalize in peace. There are no obvious holes of missing clothes, gaping spaces or exposed dust. But I spot one small thing: the note is gone. You have taken your bill, my scrawl, and re-exposed my pixelated heart behind the glass.

lilmissprincess

Aw.....I like it. Its slightly heartwrenching, yet extremely descriptive, which gives me the idea of watching it as a fly on the wall. Excellent.

BEAT

GoodLord Shiv, you never cease to amaze me.

Id love to see more of your work, it would be a credit to society if you posted a piece daily IMO.

It is so refreshing to read your work, it often times reminds me of my own writing. This piece infact looks very similar to something I wrote a few years back...perhaps that is why I am biased but nevertheless, bravo

shiv

*Blush*

Thanks so much lilmissprincess and Beat

You've made my week. Truly. I was hesitant to post this, because it's so personal and sad, but I really believe you can write yourself out of some heart-wrenching places through poetry. I'm usually not one for prose, but I think I'm warming to it as a mode of self-expression...

Thanks again for replying, I really appreciate it

BEAT

you are quite welcome.
Everytime I see that you have posted Im excited to read it
I cant say that about every poster..so do Please stop by more often!

Blush_01

What Beat said.

Shiv, you're wonderful. It really struck a chord without being overly-indulgent.

takola

That really is amazing! How'd you get so much feeling into a short piece?? :eek:
I know my opinion doesnt really matter much, I'm not a writer and it's my first time to post here.
You really have an amazing gift. I'd give anything to be able to write something like that. Have you had anything published or any plans to have anything published? Im dying to read more!

lilmissprincess

No probelm, it was an amazing piece, very feeling, and deserves a massive clap on the back. Post more!!