Monaghan villagers...

cournioni · 18-05-2006 8:06pm #1

A ventriloquist visiting Monaghan walks into a small village and sees a local sitting in his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Monaghan man

"Can I talk to your dog?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid git."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doing all right."

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at
the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great
food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either.... I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the
villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me
regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Villager: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Villager: (in a panic) "The sheep's a f**king liar!"