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Should I tell?

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  • 18-05-2006 7:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    K well i need some advice, hope this doesn't go on to long!

    I met this guy, got on great, had sex, it ended quickly on his half with no explanation.

    He had told me that he had recently broke up with his girlfriend but I had a feeling this wasn't true.

    Anywho, after a month or so he contacts me again to apologise, says he's back with the ex. BUT and here's where the problem lies. He keeps asking me to meet up with him, he has told me that he's not happy with his girlfriend and has some pretty nasty stuff about her. If I ever heard somebody i was with say things like that about me i would be extremly upset.(i have all the texts he sent saved)

    Now it would be easy enough for me to get in contact with his girlfriend, i know where she works etc.

    I feel so sorry for the girl, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I really don't know if i should tell her or not, a part of me wants to but another part of me is telling me to keep out of it.

    Oh and P.S. I have no intention of meeting up with him now that i know he is in a relationship.


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    #2
    daRobot
    Registered Users Posts: 2,380 ✭✭✭daRobot


    The only reason you'd want to tell her, is to get back at him for not seeing you again the first time.Don't be trying to fool yourself and pretend that you care about someone you've never met.

    It's none of your business to tell her anything.

    Don't be spiteful and bitter.

    Move on.


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    He's a loser.

    Either let him out of your life..

    or tell her and DON'T get back with him (he'll probably do it to you then)


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    #4
    hullaballoo
    Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,710 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭hullaballoo


    Listen, if you go and start telling her all of these things, what do you expect her to do? Hug you and tell you that she's so glad you came to see her to break her heart and shatter her relationship? No.

    She's either (a) going to assume that you're jealous, and want him for yourself, or (b) believe you, but hate you anyway, or (c) both.

    It really isn't any of your business what happens in their relationship. It's between them. She might not deserve to be treated like that, but then again she might.

    Just tell him to fcuk off and sort his siht out.


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    #5
    Static M.e.
    Registered Users Posts: 3,087 ✭✭✭Static M.e.


    Yeah the guy is an ahole

    Tell her if you want but make she doesnt know it came from you.

    But do it for the right reasons


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I don't want to do it because im jealous, i'm not at all. I wouldnt want a relationship or anything of the sort with him, knowing what he's really like.

    And I don't care about him not seeing me anymore, i've moved on and have a boyfriend of my own now.

    I just basically feel sorry for the girl and would hope that if i was in a similar situation that i'd be told and not made a fool of.


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I was always of the opinion that to judge a situation you should be aware of all the facts. You slept with someone you were told was single. Not only did he lie to you but betrayed his girlfriend.
    I'd say it's a level playing field and whatever you decide to do is up to you.

    Who knows. She could be wasting her time with him, and your information is the only thing that will cut the cord.
    If you do decide to tell her - gently does it. Pure facts and nothing else. And after that, leave both of them alone.

    Do you really want to be with a guy who would do something like that on you? Because there is a strong possibility that he would.


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    #8
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    It is none of you business really, get on with living your own life.


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    #9
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I would tell him to sling his hook & leave it at that....I don't think you'll be doing yourself any favours by telling this girl, even tho that may be the honourable thing to do....best of luck :)


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    #10
    CoolGuy2006
    Closed Accounts Posts: 286 ✭✭CoolGuy2006


    If my girlfriend told some guy she was single and they slept together, i would be happier if the guy came to me for the right reasons and told me about it.

    I would want to know! Also, for whatever reasons you would be telling her, even if it is out of jealiousy (which i dont think it is), in the end you will be helping this girl make a choice.

    People here cant say that its none of her business. She was involved the moment that guy lied to her and they had sex. She is also involved now because he still texts her and treats his girlfriend like a piece of ****.

    It is her business, I dont think she should turn a blind eye. Even if his girlfriend hates you for it(In the heat of the moment), at least she will know whats going on which is the main thing I suppose.

    Goodluck Sister


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    #11
    shinners007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 727 ✭✭✭shinners007


    yes i agree with coolguy, if it were me i'd hope someone would inform me.
    however dont expect her to welcome the news with open arms.
    at the end of the day its your decision.
    best of luck...i think..;)


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    #12
    paulac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 71 ✭✭paulac


    You could just send her a note saying that you have information about her boyfriend that she may not like, say who you are, and say something like 'I'll be in a certain place at a certain time,' and that way you put the ball into her court and give her a choice of whether or not she wants to hear these things. If she does, she probably has suspicions of her own and if she doesn't, then she'll find out for herself in time. At least this way you won't be putting something on her shoulders that she's not ready to hear.

    In the note, you could mention the fact that you have proof and that the only reason you're doing this is because you'd want someone to do it for you.

    Good luck no matter what your choice!


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    #13
    kyra
    Registered Users Posts: 31 ✭kyra


    you dunno anything of their relationship
    i'd say do not get involved and move on with your life
    and tell him to p*ss off
    ;)


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    #14
    Hermione*
    Registered Users Posts: 14,983 ✭✭✭✭Hermione*


    If he's an asshole, at some stage he'll do something to make her realise this. She will not appreciate somebody she doesn't know intervening in her relationship.
    If you decide to tell her though, be prepared for a hostile reaction.


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    #15
    Puteq
    Registered Users Posts: 380 ✭✭Puteq


    OK I know this thread is over a week ago so maybe it is all resolved now, but since no-one else suggested this, i will. I reckon you should tell the guy to admit everything to his g/f. first off, she would rather hear it from him that a total stranger, and secondly you wont be putting yourself on the front line, one thing for sure is if you tell her everything she will take it out on you even though your intentions are honourable.

    only problem with this is how do you know he does it? I dunno you could check with her after i guess, or maybe you'd hear about it when they'd break up. But the right thing would be for the guy to come clean, even if he has to have his hand forced.

    i think if you stayed out of it that would be totally understandable too. good luck


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