Talking to Women

LegacyUser

Not sure if im posting in the right place here and I know there are people here with far more worrying them.

Ok, here goes. Im 23. Got no experience with women.

I dont know how to approach them in niteclubs.For example, I was out last Friday night, in a club with a few friends. I see this reasonably attractive girl. What to do? What do I say? The opportunity was perfect, she was with 2 friends but they were talking to people and she was kinda on the outside. But I just did not know how to begin a conversation to her!

Later, I see 2 attractive women talking. (Not as attractive as girl no.1, but still). I see one of them yawn. I was going to say "she couldnt be that boring (referring to her friend)" But I didnt. Dont know why. Maybe I thought it would sound stupid.

Its just so hard to think of something to say and then even harder to actually say it.

Please advise...

GreenHell

Sounds like your thinking a bit too much. Start a conversation, try and be funny or at least get by "hi", if you get shot down so what, move on.

Stop analysing everything so much
seriously

say "hi, how's it going, having fun?" and see how it goes from there

or tell a bad joke

I always thought
"two thousand tonne polar bear"
"er, you what?"
"just breaking the ice "
was a funny one!!

Just chat and be yourself
we're not strange mystical creatures, we do speak the same language you know

The Corinthian

AdvicePlease wrote:

Its just so hard to think of something to say and then even harder to actually say it.

Tell yourself that she finds you attractive, walk over and say "hello".

Dave!

bluewolf wrote:

Stop analysing everything so much
seriously

say "hi, how's it going, having fun?" and see how it goes from there

or tell a bad joke

I always thought
"two thousand tonne polar bear"
"er, you what?"
"just breaking the ice "
was a funny one!!

Just chat and be yourself
we're not strange mystical creatures, we do speak the same language you know

I prefer "How much does a polar bear weigh?" "emm... I dunno" "Enough to break the ice, hi I'm dave :cool:"

DubNside

Just go with the flow dude, women are'nt an alien species!

be yourself, act normal and no dumb one liners, or they'll think your a weirdo!

[Jackass]

DaveMcG wrote:

I prefer "How much does a polar bear weigh?" "emm... I dunno" "Enough to break the ice, hi I'm dave :cool:"

Haha, smooth!

Do you smoke? Do any of your friends smoke? hang around beer gardens, go out with your friends when they smoke....ask a girl for a light, i mean that's a simple way of starting a conversation...it dosen't have to be rocket science, if you can maintain a conversation with your own mother, sister or female friends then you are capable of maintaing a conversation with a beautiful woman...

thanks for the light, you look like you're having a good night, what's your name by the way? Hi im blank....

I dunno, say whatever and if she's interested she'll make the effort to maintain the conversation and if she's not she wont...no need to try and draw blood from a stone, move on and chat to someone else later...

Fear of rejection = Rejection
Confidence and don't-give-a-sh*t-isim = Pull

lost_for_words

We are not really a mysterious species! Do you have any female friends? You could always get them to introduce you to other friends of theirs, at least that way you wouldn't feel like a tool when left alone to break the ice (less random than talking to strangers).

Aside from that, don't take the cheesy approach, stupid one liners will get you nowhere. Even though it's cliche just be yourself, be friendly (and dont try to grope her the minute she smiles at you).

Maybe try somewhere that isnt a nightclub either.

chamlis

You know the "just be yourself" cliche? The only time I can pull that off is when I'm convinced that I don't have a chance in Hell with this girl. So I just talk to her, not looking for anything, no ulterior(sp?) motive. You're not trying to be funny (you won't be), you're just being clever and witty cos that's what you're like normally. Or whatever.

I have gotten some babes this way, swear to God. The flip side of course, is that sometimes I'm still not convinced I have a chance, even when there are signals (I can never read those). Some female friends have addmitted to me years after we first met that they were attracted to me then because I wasn't trying it on (even though I might've wanted to). Because again, I was convinced that I didn't have a chance in Hell.

Women. Chance. Hell.
There is a lesson here somewhere.

Oh and for the record: I have never pulled in a nightclub. As far as I remember anyway....

Pepe LeFrits

The Corinthian wrote:

Tell yourself that she finds you attractive, walk over and say "hello".

Nah, tell yourself that she finds you attractive, walk over and say "i want to bang you and you sister, sluttypie".

Or you could just try his idea. It might work. Maybe

MrSinn

try to imagine that there is a big boogie hanging from her nose,it will make you remember that shes only human too

cournioni

DaveMcG wrote:

I prefer "How much does a polar bear weigh?" "emm... I dunno" "Enough to break the ice, hi I'm dave :cool:"

Brilliant! I don't usually use chat up lines but that is one that I have to use some night!

I agree with everyone else on here, the best and only way you'll do it is if you don't think about it, nor give a damn if you get rejected. You have nothing to fear because everyone gets rejected at one stage or another. Just go with the flow. Try and compliment her and just ask questions to keep the conversation flowing. If she keeps talking to you and smiles alot, then you have a very good chance of getting away with whatever girl it may be.

dray

Look for eye contact - if you get it walk over and say:

"Hey - someone told me you wanted to fight me"
If she says "what?" etc., just keep playing that role (obviously only for a minute or so), put your hands up hit her on the arm etc.

Or:

go up, turn around and look down at your belt and ask
"Hey, does my belt on properly?"
She answers,"..."
then say "Grr - jealous husbands have no sense of humour" Again play the role.

Or:
If more than one girl say:
"Are you guys having a girl talk?"
She answers "..."
Then call her on it "yeah you were - I'll bet you were talking about that guy over there (point at some random guy), do you think he's hot etc.
Do an impression of a Californian Valley Girl "OMG that is SO ... etc."

MOST OF ALL -
Be Confident, have fun and hit her (gently)/poke her, give her a hug from the side.

dray

dray wrote:

Look for eye contact - if you get it walk over and say:

"Hey - someone told me you wanted to fight me"
If she says "what?" etc., just keep playing that role (obviously only for a minute or so), put your hands up hit her on the arm etc.

You do realise there's a difference between "hit" and "hit on", right?
If guys tried that, they'd elicit a fairly violent reaction let me tell you
As for the rest:
Are you trolling or what?

Repli

dray wrote:

Look for eye contact - if you get it walk over and say:

"Hey - someone told me you wanted to fight me"
If she says "what?" etc., just keep playing that role (obviously only for a minute or so), put your hands up hit her on the arm etc.

Be Confident, have fun and hit her (gently)/poke her, give her a hug from the side.

lol that might work in Leitrim or wherever you're from, but Dublin girls wouldn't take too kindly in my opinion..

lost_for_words

dray wrote:

Be Confident, have fun and hit her (gently)/poke her, give her a hug from the side.

Dear God! Do girls actually fall for that?

Chucky the tree

dray wrote:

Look for eye contact - if you get it walk over and say:

"Hey - someone told me you wanted to fight me"
If she says "what?" etc., just keep playing that role (obviously only for a minute or so), put your hands up hit her on the arm etc.

Or:

go up, turn around and look down at your belt and ask
"Hey, does my belt on properly?"
She answers,"..."
then say "Grr - jealous husbands have no sense of humour" Again play the role.

Or:
If more than one girl say:
"Are you guys having a girl talk?"
She answers "..."
Then call her on it "yeah you were - I'll bet you were talking about that guy over there (point at some random guy), do you think he's hot etc.
Do an impression of a Californian Valley Girl "OMG that is SO ... etc."

MOST OF ALL -
Be Confident, have fun and hit her (gently)/poke her, give her a hug from the side.

alright dray. Since you new to the forum i am presuming you have gotten confused with so many forums. This post should go in the humour forum here:

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=22

To the OP: i am going to give you the best advice you will get on this thread.

Completely ignore drays post!!

Suaimhneach

I hope not. Not unless you're a young teenager, and thats they kind of flirtatious body language you have.

Poke a girl in a club and she'll have you thrown out.

HOw about. Try talking to girls in situations which arent clubs? loud and noisy and surrounded by freinds is a hard situation by any standards. Try genuine converstations rather than alcohold inducded paranoia!

Talaghn

Wow a guy who actually admitted to not being able to talk to a girl with out freaking out!

my advice... Dont worry about it too much. The worst any girl is gonna say is No or shake their head, we arent gonna stand there pointing and laughing because you were interested!

If your ok at dancing, start there. If your not, just dont look like your trying to hit on every girl in the room or look like your not enjoying yourself!

I perfer not finding people in clubs, sure its the easiest way to pull someone but the next morning is terrible!