Messed Up

LegacyUser

Basically, myself and the girlfriend had a very turbulant 2 years we were together. She had a trust issue with me because:

1. She believed I was still seeing my ex - even though she went to her house confronted her and rang her on a different occassion and had a heart to heart to her - then realised her mistake...

2. Thinks I'm now getting up on my best mate - with whom I've grown up with. I do love her but shes like a sister than anyone else - before you ask we never kissed or anything like that or we're even tempted! She has been with her boyfriend over 3 years aswell.

The problem is she keeps claiming I'm gonna call down to her house aswell. I said fine do that. I told the family to exect a knock but it was probably just an empty threat.

Since then we had a row. She got a new number but I deleted it from my phone and have no record of it anywhere. The problem is I do miss her. She text me a few times saying she wants to be friends but I was soo pissed off with her I told her what to do with herself and being smart etc. She hasn't text in a week. Every text she sent me was 'so are you with someone yet?' which I always replied to 'apparently I was with X and my mate X before why you asking - apparently you know everthing.' Now before people start telling me off for being smart I dont think I was doing anything wrong - in what she said and how she went about it I think I had every right to vent my anger.

To be honest I do miss her - i miss her texts in the morning asking how i am etc. Every text i get on my phone I jump on it hoping its her. She said we could never be together again (although she said that before) but this time I think she went too far and pushed me over the edge. I'm more afraid of seeing her with someone else etc - it would break my heart.

Any ideas what I should do?

Beruthiel

yes
I think you should thank your lucky stars that this relationship is over.
Sorry, but she's a complete bunny boiler.
Who the hell goes to someone's ex to ask what's going on?

Of course you miss the texting, but time will take care of that and in six months you'll be so very happy that you have moved on with your life.
If a relationship does not have trust, it is not a relationship.

Gilgamesh

hehe bunny boiler, I like that.

I agree, from what you explained about your relationship, you are better off been out of it.


time with remedy the pain, just keep yourself occupied.

takola

Im with Beruthiel on this one! Fair enough you miss the texting! You can get that from another girl without the constant accusations!!!! Seriously, you are better off without her! Give it time and you'll find someone else! Go out on the pull at the weekend! But for the love of god stay away from the bunny boiler!!!!! :rolleyes:

Blub2k4

Yeah first thing I thought when I saw this was "good riddance" she's a bunny-boiler.

I'd say dont bother your indignation is correct, I'd go as far as to text her back saying that it was bad enough dealing with her jealousy when you were a couple and that you definitely dont need it now that you are single.

Ickle Magoo

(Sorry in advance for repeating what I've said in other threads).....

I think relationships are based on trust, respect and honesty - nothing about this situation shows your relationship had any of those qualities.....a girl who challenges you or your ex's about extra-curricular activities clearly has enormous issues which need to be addressed....she may have been hurt in the past and so can't trust men now and so if you get back together again you need to talk through these issues until this behaviour stops....

You may miss her but you have to know this is not normal behaviour and if not addressed it wil ultimately lead to misery for both of you....you may not want to say goodbye as we are often drawn to dependant people who make us feel so special but unless this girl gets help for her chronic insecurities then you are definately better off without her & finding someone who is well balanced and capable of having a more normal relationship....best of luck

oulu

If you love you have to try understand her as hard as it may seem.She seems to have no self asteem and low on confidence.This is something if you love her enough can help her with, she is insercure and you know better than anyone else. so you have to ask yourself is she worth it. if she is then you have to sit down talk it over with her no more calling to peoples houses and if she feel insercure to let you know and you can work on it together.Remember she could be the one ,

Wurly

Seriously, what age is this girl? Imagine calling into to your boyfriends friends house, accusing them of cheating. Thats unbelievable.

You are better off without this girl. And I dont know how you stuck it for 2 years. She has some serious trust issues, that would drive anyone crackers after a while.

You miss the texts naturally, its always nice when someone you love texts you to see how you are etc. But look at the big picture, you're well rid.

I dont blame you for being smart, just your way of getting your anger out.

Chin up, you'll feel better with time but dont look back. You deserve better than a mad woman like that.

LegacyUser

Thanx for all your replies so far...

Tri wrote:

Imagine calling into to your boyfriends friends house, accusing them of cheating. Thats unbelievable.

I may be misquoting you here but but she called to my ex girlfriends house not mine...

OrangeOranges

I never understand why people want to be friends with ex's. Surely its just "messy".

So IMO tell her it's over. And yes we can be civil and friendly when we bump into each other but apart from that.............

Anyways sounds like your best of rid.

Set yourself time-frames. Like wont contact for 1month.Then 2 months etc.........

Wurly

Bumble bee tuna, whats your point? Its still just as bad to call to your ex girlfriends house as it is your friends house. She's still way out of order. Dont be making excuses for her.

Ickle Magoo

Bumble Bee Tuna wrote:

I may be misquoting you here but but she called to my ex girlfriends house not mine...

Oh, well that's okay then.....:eek:

Talliesin

You miss her because there was something good about the relationship, and something that attracted you to her in the first place.

People tend to be neither perfect nor complete monsters. Hence relationships tend not to be perfect, and break-ups tend not to be completely free of regrets.

coffee_cake

OrangeOranges wrote:

I never understand why people want to be friends with ex's. Surely its just "messy".

Not after a while, I'm good friends with most of mine


To the OP: I echo what everyone else said - she sounds daft in the head. Hard to let go of course, but I'd be happy the relationship was over if I were you

Chucky the tree

Tri wrote:

Bumble bee tuna, whats your point? Its still just as bad to call to your ex girlfriends house as it is your friends house. She's still way out of order. Dont be making excuses for her.

I dont think he is making excuses for her. Hes just correcting a mistake you made. He thought that you though she called into his house, when it was his ex-girlfriends house.


anyway back to more important stuff.


THe girls a clearly a pyscho. Be happy your out of that relationship.

Wurly

Yes he corrected a mistake I made. But I was getting at the fact that he had seemed to miss how insane it was for her to go knocking on anyones door, friend, ex or otherwise.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Thanx for all your replies. I managed to get her number and give her a text - things started to be heated at first but we opened our hearts then. Neither of us have met other people since we broke up but have gone out etc. We said we'd stay friends for a while without meeting other people and see how it goes form there...

Thanks again

takola

Omg! aaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

The Sweeper

Bumble Bee Tuna wrote:

Hi all,

Thanx for all your replies. I managed to get her number and give her a text - things started to be heated at first but we opened our hearts then. Neither of us have met other people since we broke up but have gone out etc. We said we'd stay friends for a while without meeting other people and see how it goes form there...

Thanks again

"We were on a BREEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKK" not for you guys, then?

Your ex-girlfriend wants you to remain celibate until she feels like kicking up the relationship again, and you think this is a good idea??

Fact of the matter is your ex-girlfriend appears to be massively insecure and an overwhelmingly jealous person. That will never change.

If all you miss is the text messages, ask your parents to send you some in the morning to remind you somebody loves you. Then place a higher value on yourself than dating this nutter.