My lyrics

sholta

heres the first one

Verse One:
this pain is inside and the is nowhere to hide
And i cant seem to get away.
I twist and turn,
but the feeling,it burns
And theres nothing left to say

Pre chorus:
Yet its not this easy,its not this hard,
thers ALWAYS something left to say.
They try to excuse it,
but i just refuse it,
its just the games ppl play

Chorus:
I dont want to feel like this any longer,
But this feeling is just getting stronger and stronger
x2

Verse 2:
you know its there,
you know they dont care,its really that plain to see.
but this feelings not rare,
you see it everywhere,
Everyones picking on me!

pre Chorus

chorus

Interlude:
why cant you look around?
everyones tired of you putting them down.
why cant you understand?
everybodys sick of you acting the hard man!

Chorus

END



this other one isnt really a song,more a poem but who cares

I'm finding it hard to breath,
the pressure builds inside me
i only wanted to be free
but you took away my dignity

you pretend you dont see me,
you pretend im not there
if your so against me just get out of my hair
your ruining this for me,its just not fair



well thats them.please comment.

Timans

I think they're very good.

Don't be negative about them. They're very good. I really like them.

Blush_01

I'll be honest, I haven't read what you wrote after your initial apology in advance, and I'll tell you why.

I used to be a terror for doing what you just did - apologising profusely for what I had written. Don't. People who have been told something is bad before they experience it will look at it in a negative way, even if it's amazing. Don't ever put yourself (or your work) down, there are too many other people in the world who will be more than willing to do that without invitation. Have more confidence in your ability (not so much that you're cocky, but don't apologise for what you've written either,) just post it and let people have their own opinions of it. If you ask for critique, people will tell you how they'd change what you've written, or what they personally didn't like about it. You can then look at your own opinion - be it good or bad - and change the things everyone (including you) disliked, maybe using some of the suggestions you received. We're not going to launch a personal attack on you (if one was launched, the moderatorship would whup the poster's ass).

Also, as you're writing lyrics as opposed to something that's written to be read, there are different rules, so what might not be nobel-prize winning literature could be a fantastic song. Now, do me a favour and edit your title and the beginning of your post. Then I'll take a look and tell you what I honestly think about what you've written. I'm sure both of us will be pleasantly surprised.

amp

Yeah, never apologise for expressing yourself.

aliqueenb

i think its gud cud b great song!!!......now i know this is annoyin but go look at my two and write a comment please?????sorry for bein so like annoyin....