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common senses

  • 15-05-2006 12:12am
    #1
    solas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,999 ✭✭✭


    You don't smile anymore.
    I can still see
    beyond another closed door
    and no way to reach you,
    so many barriers in place.
    If I could still touch
    the tears rolling down your face,
    I would ease your heartache.


Comments

  • #2
    aliqueenb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 605 ✭✭✭aliqueenb


    how are u able to write ryming poems tell me!....its all right bit short maybe i dont know just didint, as they say touch me???...look at mine and give a comment???please....


  • #3
    BEAT
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,945 ✭✭✭BEAT


    short and sweet solas, nice ;)


    aliqueenb, please try to form sentences that make sense in the future. You may want to try and read what you have typed before you click the submit button.


  • #4
    Outcast
    Closed Accounts Posts: 372 ✭✭Outcast


    It's nice, but I'd wonder about rhyming anymore with closed door. It's a bit too obvious.


  • #5
    Vulpine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭Vulpine


    That's all I can say...
    Well not really. I was totally taken at even a glimpse of what Solas' post was about. There's no point in saying that "It's a pity that we live in such a critical world..." because I'm critical myself, we all are, even with the best of intentions,...,BUT...to even form the lovely sentiment of what the poem is about & innocently volunteering, to even care about another person & perceptively feel for them so ...it obviously came from the heart. No posturing here.
    And so maybe I don't think critical analysis is as appropriate or relevant here.
    I feel it would be like looking the gift horse in the mouth.

    P.S. Oh fortunate person to be cared for so


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