Friends that treat you like crap....

Spliffany692000 · 14-05-2006 11:18pm #1

Is it really so hard to find a true friend?? Im only a friend to my so called friends when they want something....if they go I find out about it when their talking about how great it was the next day!! How do you find a good friend??

happydaz · 14-05-2006 11:41pm

you find true friends by being true to yourself, meeting new people with similar interests, hobbies, musical tastes and dropping the friend(s) that treat you badly because, and trust me i know this from experience unfort, they are bitter people who only want to bring you down to make themselves feel better.

Morf3h · 14-05-2006 11:42pm

be one in the first place i guess. somebody's bound to appreciate it sometime

happydaz · 14-05-2006 11:44pm

Morf3h wrote:

be one in the first place i guess. somebody's bound to appreciate it sometime

i agree... however you have to be carefull not to be treated like a doormat. i mean if you're willing to please and trying to make friends then there can be a danger that people will take advantage of that. once you keep that in mind-being a good friend is sound advice.

Ickle Magoo · 14-05-2006 11:53pm

Friends don't treat you like crap - and if you had any self respect you wouldn't allow yourself to be treated like crap.....so it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy....

What kind of things interest you? Are you a student? Have hobbies? There are bound to be lots of things out there that you can do to meet like minded people....just remember that you deserve to be treated well & ditch anyone that keeps treating you badly despite you being nice & you will find true friends...best of luck

Spliffany692000 · 15-05-2006 12:14am

I am a true friend...anything comes up...I drop everything for them...if I need help their always busy and stuff...Im the type of person that cant drop people...Its like Im afraid Ill have no body then...so Im in a right snag...be friendless or keep the so called ones Iv got...HELP!!

Ickle Magoo · 15-05-2006 12:19am

What you describe does not sound like friendship to me - so your choice is really A) having no friends and hanging about with people who treat you like dirt or

having no friends....maybe spending less energy on the people that use you & dump you, you will have more time & energy to find friends?...best of luck

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 15-05-2006 12:26am

Spliffany692000 wrote:

I am a true friend...anything comes up...I drop everything for them...if I need help their always busy and stuff...Im the type of person that cant drop people...Its like Im afraid Ill have no body then...so Im in a right snag...be friendless or keep the so called ones Iv got...HELP!!

You've answered your own question: a friend is someone you'd be there for, but would also be there for you.

Beyond that, you just have to delveop how to use the magic N word. So 'no' every now and again. Not all the time, just for the more trivial things. Say you have something else you need to do.

Exon · 15-05-2006 8:06am

Your pocket is your only friend!

AngryAnderson · 15-05-2006 8:14am

Try to make friends elsewhere and wean yourself off the ones that are dragging you down.

pepper · 15-05-2006 3:33pm

Spliffany692000 wrote:

Is it really so hard to find a true friend?? Im only a friend to my so called friends when they want something....if they go I find out about it when their talking about how great it was the next day!! How do you find a good friend??

i have a "friend" like u. But theres a reason we dont invite her anywhere.

I have known this girl since i was 2- all her life she NEVER took any pride in her appearance- she would go DAYS without washing(seriously)we said it to her but she just stormed off in a huff. She is VERY clingy and its annoying- My dads 65th is on in a few weeks and its just family and my dads friends- and she ASSUMED she was coming- and when i said that she wasnt(cos its my dads bday n seriously he doesnt know her) she STORMED off and sulked for days. When we do invite her out she has one drink and sits in the corner all night- wont talk to anyone besides me and if i start talking to someone else she sulks.

Now seriously I hope your not like that cos Im fit to kill her- I cant cut my friendship with her though cos she has hardly any friends

Sony · 15-05-2006 3:56pm

pepper wrote:

i have a "friend" like u. But theres a reason we dont invite her anywhere.

I have known this girl since i was 2- all her life she NEVER took any pride in her appearance- she would go DAYS without washing(seriously)we said it to her but she just stormed off in a huff. She is VERY clingy and its annoying- My dads 65th is on in a few weeks and its just family and my dads friends- and she ASSUMED she was coming- and when i said that she wasnt(cos its my dads bday n seriously he doesnt know her) she STORMED off and sulked for days. When we do invite her out she has one drink and sits in the corner all night- wont talk to anyone besides me and if i start talking to someone else she sulks.

Now seriously I hope your not like that cos Im fit to kill her- I cant cut my friendship with her though cos she has hardly any friends

Sorry I thought that was a little unfair to even suggest that this girl was like this - btw think angry andersons advice was good

pepper · 15-05-2006 4:39pm

Sony wrote:

Sorry I thought that was a little unfair to even suggest that this girl was like this - btw think angry andersons advice was good

i didnt suggest she was like that- i said i hope she wasnt like that

Sony · 15-05-2006 4:49pm

Im afraid I think saying "I have a friend like you" was at least suggesting this

why would it even cross your mind that the OP could be like that anyway?
I just didnt think the post would have being very helpful to her thats all!

Spliffany692000 · 15-05-2006 4:55pm

Lol...dont worry I took no offence to what you wrote. Just to let you know I take good care of myself and I wont go out of the house without my war paint on!! Im very strange when it comes to smelling good (something to do with the smell fetish I have) so im always douced in my favourite perfume (so...kiss me) I just think Im to soft and forgive people to easily my brother in law thinks Im a door mat to most of my friends and Im a total people pleaser...its who I am so maybe the problem isn them...its me!!

Sony · 15-05-2006 5:00pm

yeah I think the fact that people have been actually telling you that youre kinda like a doormat is'nt a great thing at all....

still I dont see why that would stop you from being asked out by "friends"

Im not sure what to advise - all Ill say is that I think deep down everyone knows that theyve very little TRUE friends and you're definitely not on your own with this one;)

fuzzywiggle · 15-05-2006 5:33pm

Yeah it's hard to find a true friend. The only people you can really rely on are your family, in my opinion. They have your best interest at heart all the time and aren't going to bitch about you and try to drag you down.

I have a friend who puts everyone down to make herself feel better. It's pathetic. Who needs friends like that? I hope one day you do meet some nice people. Join some clubs, get out there and meet people with the same hoobies/ interests as you. That will give you a head start to finding one!

Spliffany692000 · 15-05-2006 5:35pm

As sad as it sounds I kinda like all you guys....yer all so nice and helpfull...why aint there more peeps like you in my friend gang?

Sony · 15-05-2006 5:44pm

yeah fuzzy I was going to say exactly that about family being the only ones you can depend on but thought it might have been a little over the top- tony soprano said it so it MUST be true!!

nah I consider both my brothers to be best mates - even my best friends have let me down at some stage or another (theyre still best mates now despite this) but my brothers have never done it and I dont expect them to neither

course you like us tiffany - whats there not to like huh??!

chamlis · 15-05-2006 5:45pm

You are among friends

arbeitsscheuer · 15-05-2006 5:51pm

Yeah, we rock!
(More shameless boards community ego massaging takes place... Great)

Anyway, having been in similar situation as the OP, I've gotta say that you can't keep letting yourself get treated this way. Eventually your frustration and annoyance at the one-way respect becomes too great and you'll try to have it out with them, tell em it's not good enuff etc. And they won't change, they'll treat the complaint as your fault.

Me, I said "to heck wit you lot", and bailed. Still keep in contact wit 1 or 2 of em, but it's not a friendship as such.

You just have to ensure that next time you befriend people who respect your friendship as much as you respect theirs.

pepper · 15-05-2006 8:11pm

Sony wrote:

Im afraid I think saying "I have a friend like you" was at least suggesting this

why would it even cross your mind that the OP could be like that anyway?
I just didnt think the post would have being very helpful to her thats all!

i ment i have a friend who we go out without like what was happening to the OP

well excuse me- apparantly im not entitled to my say!!!

Sony · 15-05-2006 8:36pm

sorry pepper - I didnt mean any offence by it

of course youre entitled to your say:)

Hermione* · 15-05-2006 9:01pm

I'd have to agree with Seb's post, OP. Friends that don't return your support, help and friendship aren't worth your time. It's better imo to have a few close freinds whom you can really trust than a large circle of people to go out with, but nobody to talk to at 11pm when crap happens.

Join clubs, go to boards beers, smile at people ... in my experience, friendships develop gradually over time. The most important thing is to accept and respect yourself; until you can, others won't.

Friends that treat you like crap....

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