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Urgent advice needed

  • 12-05-2006 3:37pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Recently 2 weeks ago my girlfriend and I finished our relationship of 5 months. Now i fear she maybe pregnant and seeking an abortion. She is from Latvia.
    I did ask her last week if she was pregnant and she denied it.
    My reasons for my thoughts are
    1. she goes to Latvia for an unplanned week there. (She had already booked to go for 2 weeks in July). She always told me that if she got pregnant she would go and have an abortion
    2. She has made an appointment with a gynaecological clinic there.
    3. Three weeks ago she urgently needed money which i gave her.
    4. She did ask me a few weeks ago about abortion in Ireland and i explained the situation to her. She rang the Irish Family planning clinic for info asking the for the information on behalf of a friend who she saaid could not afford to have baby.
    5 .she said her visit to Latvia next week to me is because she needs to go to sort out her woman problems and to do so she needs a latvian speaking doctor.
    6. I have my suspicions and as we are not really speaking after the breakup of the relationship I find it difficult to know what to do next. She flately denied anything when I spoke to her last week. I have been thinking of all that has gone on and my suspicion is that she is pregnant. I have no proof whatsoever. Should I ask her to speak with me again? I feel there is not much I can do if does not tell me anything


Comments

  • #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Everything seems to suggest that she is pregnant. You may never find out tbh but you could try talking to her again.


  • #3
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    No, it doesnt sound as if you will be able to do anything if she does say she is pregnant. If she is, it sounds like shes already made up her mind to have the abortion, and even though you would be the father, bottom line is, her body, her decision.

    All you can do is talk to her, and even if she wont admit anything, tell her how you would feel if she was pregnant, and what you would do, as in what kind of support she could expect from you. Perhaps then if she is pregant and is unsure about what to do, she may decide to be more open with you. But be prepared for her to stonewall, and if she does, I think you simply have to let it go.


  • #4
    joebhoy1916
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,011 ✭✭✭joebhoy1916


    KatieK wrote:
    and even though you would be the father, bottom line is, her body, her decision.

    Fcuking hate the way people say that.

    Sorry mate feel bad for ya if she is.

    But all ya can do is try talk to her say if she is pregnant
    say you will be there to support her and the child.


  • #5
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    joebhoy1916 wrote:
    Fcuking hate the way people say that.
    Not keen on saying it either, I think its a sh!tty situation for a father to be in. But he is pretty powerless to make her do anything, unfortunately.

    I feel for ya, OP, and hope it works out.


  • #6
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Did you give her much money? Sorry but I had to ask.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hagar wrote:
    Did you give her much money? Sorry but I had to ask.
    800 euro.
    I texted her a half hour a go and asked to speak with her.
    Last time we spoke she asked me not to contact in any way but then she I will text you when I come back from Latvia


  • #8
    meowCat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 494 ✭✭meowCat


    I think some of the replies are pretty harsh on the girl. Can nobody understand her at all? She is in a foreign country! She might be pregnant by someone she is not seeing any more! By someone has has only been seeing for 5 months!

    Especially the foreign country bit is pretty scarry in this situation.

    OP, there is nothing you can do. Try to talk to her about it, but if she refuses, that's it.


  • #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hagar wrote:
    Did you give her much money? Sorry but I had to ask.
    800euro
    I have txted and she replied. She will txt again when she finishes work tonight.


  • #10
    chump
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    I can understand her POV clearly.

    Anyway there could be plenty of other explanations for what's happened.
    Maybe she's developed some problems down there,

    That would explain

    1. yes
    2. yes
    3. for the trip
    4. maybe just curiousity
    5 .she needs to go to sort out her woman problems
    6. not a point

    So the only really pointer is that she asked you about abortion in ireland.
    The whole thing could also be because she has a friend in Ireland whose just gotten pregnant and she wants to help her out...
    A number of things.

    Also, she has denied it to you, you are over as a couple - so all you can do is take her at face value and let her get on with her life


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