Still have feelings for Ex of 7 years

TomBeckett

Ok Hear goes!!
I went out with this girl 7 years ogo we went out together for about three years on and off. We were each others first real boyfriend/girlfriend if you know what i mean:) We were the best of friends and shared everything. anyway it went arseways and we broke up not on bad terms. She had some major family problems at the time and i know it was very very hard for her. and even dough we were broke up she still confided in me.. anyway she got in another few relationships and so did i. she had a few bad ones and lets just say that the men she was would did not treat her very well. anyway she has two little girls now that she adores. we still stay in touch to this day it happens that i am still very good mates with her dad so we kinda bump into each other every now and then. anyway i went out in town with a mate of mine last nite and bumped into her i was sitting at the bar and she and a friend came up to me and we chatted for a bit.. oohh all the feelings came back she still had that special glint in her eyes i cant stop thinking about her since is this really normal??:o

takola

No, i wouldnt say its normal at all. I met an ex of mine recently that i was absolutely mad about when we were together, and to be honest, rather than the old feelings returning as i'd expected, i was left thinking, is that it??? Feeling rather disillusioned.

You've mentioned that she's had relationship's since, is she in one now? And what about you? Are you in one? I think if you're both single you should she if she'd like to go out sometime.

Nevyn

There are some people be they your first serious bf/gf or
just a relationshsip that was wnderful while it lasted or
some one who really got you or was there for at a time in your life or
that you will alway find you still have some feeling or echos of feeling for them
and what you had together,
but part of maturing emotionally is to know when a relationship has had it's time and that pursuing those feeling will end up with you getting more hurt.

Take some time to think about what you want and that you are not looking
at her and back at the relationship with a rosetinted view.
If you do decide to pursue her go a head but you are both different people
with more life experience and you can't expect things to be the same.

TomBeckett

Yes she is but she has told me that she is not really happy and he is very posessive and she never gets to go out rearly ever does i mean she should be she is only 25 as she says she is only young once!!

I am also in a relationship but i am not happy ether. and to be totally honest i have had a few relationships since her one was scerious lasted for a little over a year and i did love her. but it wasnt the same as this ex i have never loved anyone like i loved/still love her:o

takola

Even so, the fact that you are both in relationships changes everything. First off..You need to sort your head out and decide whether you want to stay with your current girlfriend? It isnt exactly fair on her, thinking you're completely with her when really you aren't. If you are not happy in the relationship then you need to get out of it.
Do you think its possible that you may be using your feelings for your ex as a way of getting out of a bad situation?
Also, it's up to her to get out of her own relationship. It wouldnt be fair if you just went in there and confessed love if she isnt sure whether she wants out of her current relationship.
I think you have a couple of things to think about. Stay friends with your ex and see where it leads. See where her head is at. Have no expectations though.

Victor

I think we will always look back fondly at some of our partners (and remember some others as complete cows ). We are not bad people for doing this.

However, in practice, I suspect you were perhaps looking at this through beer-coloured glasses, foucing on the problems in your current relationship and the good times in your relationship with her. Things aren't cut and dried like that. You will have had difficult times with her and good times with your current girlfriend.

CathyMoran

Certain people will always have a place in your heart - I would still blush in front of my first love and seeing him would have me eating less for 2 weeks afterwards even though we are close penpals. You do need to live in the present though, she is an ex for a reason.

My mum always told me about her first love, she even bumped into him a few years ago and was blushing profusely when she saw him...she told me afterwards though that she had no regrets, she really loves my dad and he is her soulmate...you just need to make sure that you find yours.

LegacyUser

I still have feelings for an ex of ten months and I know 7 years from now I'll feel the same. There's "love" and then there's this crazy intensity when you're with someone and you'd be as happy spending the night with them as mates or shagging them silly. or both. She is still with father of her 2 kids Tom? if so this one is a no go. Excuse the late reply. The good ones sometimes get away.

milod

I'm now two years into a relationship with a woman who I originally went out with 23 years ago. We're both 40, both moved on, married, had kids, got disillusioned, broke up with our respective partners, and ended up together again.

Throughout these years we stayed in contact, either by letter or phone and even the occasional drink - but there was this spark you see! you can't deny chemistry - but it has to work both ways - if it does, time means nothing. Love is the strongest emotion and lasts a lot longer than 7 years!

Static M.e.

I think it is normal if you still love her.

Why dont you ditch the current GF (You should anyway if your not happy)
Call around to this girl and ask her out.

You love her, she might still love you

Take a chance, at least you will know where you stand in the end.

But I think it should will work out well for you.

Actually what you should really do (this is kinda below the belt but do it anyway) Call her and ask her if she and the kids would like to go the movies\(Insert event here) with you. That way she will see that you want to be with her and her kids. Then at the end of the day \ evening tell her you had a great day and that you have been thinking about her since you meet her in the pub would she like to go out for dinner some time?......

..6 months later wedding bells! (american couple time)