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Seeing him move on

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  • 06-05-2006 12:25am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Went out with this guy for nearly 2 years, we were friends before n still are. We see each other a lot (same friends). WE broke up just after new years. We were out last night in the pub and he brought his new girlfriend along, thing is I didnt know aout her comin before she did, and it really really hurt. I';ve been going out with this other guy for nearly 3 months n i used would tell him before that he was comin out just so it wouldnt be that uncomfortable. I a really jealous of his new girlfriend, even thought I've got a great new boyfriend. Is this normal, I cant stop thinking about him now


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    #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    You are clearly not over him yet.
    I would suggest that you put some spaceand distance between you both until you learn to adjust.


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    #3
    Hunter S
    Registered Users Posts: 328 ✭✭Hunter S


    I wouldnt agree that your not over him, its completely natural that you still have some residual feelings towards him which do not need to mean that you want to be with him. A bit of distance wouldnt do any harm, just for you to come to terms with his new relationship though.


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    #4
    CathyMoran
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,458 Mod ✭✭✭✭CathyMoran


    I think that it is totally normal to still have some feelings for your ex, it may be fine to see them as friends but when you see them doing things that you and him did together that is different. You may need some time to adjust. I still find it hard to see all but my first bf with other women and we are talking 9 years later and these men would be some of my best friends!


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    #5
    Sleipnir
    Registered Users Posts: 5,514 ✭✭✭Sleipnir


    Would you feel better if you were in the pub with your boyfriend and your ex was there on his own? Sounds to me like you would prefer to see him a little bit more miserable without you.


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    #6
    padser
    Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭padser


    Sleipnir wrote:
    Would you feel better if you were in the pub with your boyfriend and your ex was there on his own? Sounds to me like you would prefer to see him a little bit more miserable without you.

    Thats it in a nutshell I think


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    #7
    AngryAnderson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 238 ✭✭AngryAnderson


    Who broke the relationship off? You? Him? Mutual agreement?


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    #8
    chump
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    1098763432 wrote:
    I';ve been going out with this other guy for nearly 3 months n i used would tell him before that he was comin out just so it wouldnt be that uncomfortable. I a really jealous of his new girlfriend, even thought I've got a great new boyfriend. Is this normal, I cant stop thinking about him now

    I'd say it's normal enough. You're still friends with this guy, still some feelings there, and you probably are just thinking is the other girl better than you.

    He was probably thinking the same when you first brought your boy out.

    Irrational no doubt, but we all compare and want the best and don't like when others are happier and better off than we are...


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    #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have been in the very same position as you, i was with my ex for 5 and half years, he lied cheated hit me basically everything that could be done he did it, a year ago i just said enough is enough and left him, met someone else very quickly and am crazy about him i love him to bits, however when my ex approached me (we work together) and said had i met someone etc and told me he had met someone else and he was happy i was gutted i cried for hours even though i had a bf i loved very much i dont know why i cried over him because there was nothing there by the time we finished, i m still a tad confused as to why the hell i wasted my tears when i clearly didnt love him. i feel for you but remember you spilt for a reason so dont let these new feelings of jealously or whatever it is get to you, move on with your new boyfriend..


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    #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It was mutual, we were growing apart. I felt fine after the break up, I know he was a lot more upset though. It so hard to see him with her, he gets on really well with my new boyfriend, but I just can't bare to even look at her.


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    #11
    HappyCrackHead
    Registered Users Posts: 337 ✭✭HappyCrackHead


    This is quite familiar to me, something very similar happened and it was 4 years. i was the one who did the breaking up but she did the breaking of the realtionship. she's found it much easier to meet people and move on than i seem to.

    i've met people but.. i dunno its complicated.

    i havent been around her with anyone of the guys she's gone out with, mostly coz i dont think i could really hack it.

    i find it interesting that u say your ex gets on well with ur new boyfriend but u cant stand to look at ur ex's new g/f.

    no commentary just interesting


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    #12
    darkflower
    Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭darkflower


    1098763432 wrote:
    Went out with this guy for nearly 2 years, we were friends before n still are. We see each other a lot (same friends). WE broke up just after new years. We were out last night in the pub and he brought his new girlfriend along, thing is I didnt know aout her comin before she did, and it really really hurt. I';ve been going out with this other guy for nearly 3 months n i used would tell him before that he was comin out just so it wouldnt be that uncomfortable. I a really jealous of his new girlfriend, even thought I've got a great new boyfriend. Is this normal, I cant stop thinking about him now

    Maybe your ex bf went the same thing before jealous of your new bf and just pretended it was ok with him. Now its payback time :D..

    Its just normal to get jealous specially when you still have feelings for him. Try to avoid him for now...


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    #13
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    1098763432 wrote:
    It was mutual, we were growing apart. I felt fine after the break up, I know he was a lot more upset though. It so hard to see him with her, he gets on really well with my new boyfriend, but I just can't bare to even look at her.

    it's quite simple,
    you need to stop going to the same places as him and avoid all contact.
    In time, you will get over it, while you continue to see him, you won't.


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    #14
    pookie pixie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39 ✭pookie pixie


    Beruthiel wrote:
    it's quite simple,
    you need to stop going to the same places as him and avoid all contact.
    In time, you will get over it, while you continue to see him, you won't.
    I agree.What you want (at least i hope you want) is for him to be happy,but you're finding it difficult to fathom the fact he has a new girlfriend.He's probably thought the same about you and your new boyfriend.His new girlfriend owes you nothing,and you the same.Its not healthy to see him right now so just lay low for a while,i know it hurts but it has to be done for your sanity!And if you bump into her and him some night just pass the hand,thats all.In time it'll get better but just cut your ties for a little while.No matter how much it hurts,what you dont know wont hurt you and it'll be worth it.


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