people are annoying

HappyCrackHead

do you ever find that when somethings bothering you, say u just got dumped or had a really ****ty day people find it necessary to try to tell you how much worse their life is? like its some kinda competition.

Like, ok, a friend of mine got dumped recently so i hung out with her for a while and we talked about a lot of stuff and i know i moaned a lot. but theres a difference between empathising with someone and... well stealing their emotional thunder.

A lot of people i know do this though. They make the conversation about them. Like... i've no problem listening to someone have a good old fashioned moan about their life when there is something genuinely bothering them. Like everyone bitches about relationships and so on.

i dunno people can just be really self centred and annoying.

I told someone earlier today that i just wanted to be left alone for a while and they went on this tirade about how their life was worse than mine. and i was like... look i just said i wanted some time alone, are you that much of an attention whore?

people are such spanners sometimes... wtf all the time!

Nevyn

Yes they are some day reall the whole world can just feck off and most of the people in it, idiots and arseholes the lot of them.
Maybe look at getting better friends ?

DOLEMAN

HappyCrackHead wrote:

people are such spanners sometimes... wtf all the time!

Indeed. There are way too many (a few billion) highly selfish and incredibly stupid people in this world.

It depresses me sometimes...

Fanny Cradock

Yeah, a positive attitued can help sometimes, but there will always be the odd asshole. It's all the more shame if they happen to be your friends.

Also, could you stop saying "like". It's actually more annoying than txt spk and completely unnecessary...like.

takola

You know, i find the easiest way around this is Not to whinge at all!!!! If you want some time alone then take it.. switch the phone off and ignore the world.

People spend WAY too much time whinging about stuff and not getting on with it!!! I mean, get over it already!!!! (Though that is not meant to anyone in particular!)

deltablaze

Well like, I think you should like get some new friends or just like tell them the problem and to stop like moaning.
Ok..I'll stop with the 'like' now :P
I think you should keep them as friends, but I also think you need to find new friends that will listen to you, and you do the same for them, of course. I think I kind of know what you mean, they're the friends that are good fun to hang around with, but you can't really get much help from them on personal topics.

Chinafoot

Happy Birthday!

Advice-wise, all I'll say is do what I do. If you're in a fouler don't even tell people you need time on your own (unless they're in your face, obviously) but try and just remove yourself from everyone for a while.

As already suggested, switch off the phone and if anyone says anything your battery died.

Don't let the bastárds grind ya down.

meowCat

peachypants wrote:

Advice-wise, all I'll say is do what I do. If you're in a fouler don't even tell people you need time on your own (unless they're in your face, obviously) but try and just remove yourself from everyone for a while.

Exactly! Everyone needs some alone time and nobody should be made feel guilty about it.

Generally, I find that I don't tend to tell just anyone about miseries in my life. There are one or two people I confide in and I know they really care, so they wouldn't give me the "but my life is so much worse" treatment.

I find many people have a set of friends that are more like aquaintances and then there are few special people.

After all, those who do not really care about you actually don't deserve to know how you truely are doing!!

Enjoy your alone time, HappyCrackHead!!

The_Minister

Whatever you do, don't emotionally dump on someone. There is nothing worse then getting someones emotional mess just dumped on you. Unless they are the kind that don't mind, like me. But, do it to the wrong person and you will have difficult times with them for a while.

I try not let it bother me too much to be honest. I've always lived my life in the knowledge that just because other people are like that, I don't have to be.

Untense

Maybe your friends are just trying to get it through to you that you're not the only one with problems...

Maybe they all think you're a whining, self centered spanner and are actually conspiring to enlighten you?

Hermione*

I can understand to an extant. A member of my family was critically ill last year, for a period of months. Yet many of my friends couldn't seem to understand the limitations this put on my time, inclination to go out, etc. I didn't actually see one of my best friends for over a month during this time. Fair enough, she was writing her masters thesis, but she also lives a twenty minute walk away from me. On the few occassions, I bumped into her by chance, she'd tell me how stressed she was and how busy she was with work and things. While I sympathised with her, and didn't want to do what you're upset about by competing with her in problems, busyness was the very least of my problems at the time. In the end, I ended up doing what peachy recommends and I hibernated for a few months. Those friends willing to listen to me, and who understood that I was having problems, I'd see. Everybody else, I just left alone.

People can't bother you if you're not around them to hear what they're saying.

Kooli

Hermione you just did the exact thing you accused your friend of doing!

You say that people didn't understand the limitations your problems put on your time, or the effect on your inclination to go out, but then YOU totally disregarded and dismissed the impact your friend's masters thesis was having on her! There is no objective 'better' or 'worse' problem, there is no hierarchy of who is worse off than whoever else. Different people experience different experiences totally differently, so there is no point comparing or competing.

If someone says they are having an awful time, believe them.

Hermione*

I sympathised with her, as I said. However, as she knew, a very close member of my family was in a coma in a hospital nowhere near me for a number of months. I don't even want to start talking about what my life was like at the time. A text/ phone call/ half hour for a cup of tea would have been nice. Other friends seemed to think I was a bad friend because I had no time to socialise, or because I couldn't do things I normally do since I was in a world where nothing was normal anymore. As I said, I was also very busy at the time, but I assure you, I wasn't awake at 4am in the morning because I was busy. I was awake at 4am in the morning because I couldn't bear to sleep with everything that was going on at the time.

It's not that it was a competition. But on the one hand, some friends couldn't see the massive changes in my life. On the other hand, I didn't hear from my one of my best friends in over a month.

kittenkiller

I know exactly what you mean, but like, my friends are totally worse than yours!!

Best way to avoid something is to either just walk away or make up something that requires you to leave them to it & be somewhere else!
Or pretend to fall asleep while their talking. They probably won't even notice til their lil story is over anyway.
The seats near ThL & M are good for thet btw.

Fanny Cradock

kittenkiller wrote:

I know exactly what you mean, but like, my friends are totally worse than yours!!

OMG! like, totally