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  • 03-05-2006 9:03pm
    #1
    DissapearingBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭


    so my girlfriend and me had a bit of a huge-ass fight today. she said "i think we should break up" and then changed her tone completely. she wants to give it one more go and i aggreed after much debate and crying on both our parts. only i don't think i'm getting along with the idea to save our relationship, it was just killing me to see how sad she was, and i think i may have just aggreed to giving it one more go just to avoid hurting her more. i'm not sure what's going on. i feel a bit like i was coerced into aggreeing, but i'm not sure if i actually do want to give it another go, and on the other hand i feel like doing this is just delaying the inevitable. :(

    i don't know what to say or do or feel so anybody who thinks they have something to add, please do, because i'm all outta ideas.


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    #2
    daiixi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,347 ✭✭✭daiixi


    You've got to do whatever is right for you. I think it's better to end a dying relationship sooner rather than later. Dragging it out never helps. Breakups do hurt but a quick clean honest break is always best. Tears now are always better than tears and screaming a month or more down the track.

    Before the huge fight today were you happy in the relationship or were you already considering splitting up? At the end of the day you're the only one who knows how you feel and this is all about how you feel and what you want. Good luck.


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    #3
    qz
    Registered Users Posts: 8,753 ✭✭✭qz


    You can't delay the inevitable. If you don't feel comfortable with her anymore, then what's the point in keeping a dead relationship going?

    Good luck, and Crawl is one of their best songs, I love them. :)


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    #4
    Chucky the tree
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    Grow some balls and dump her if thats what you want.


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    #5
    meowCat
    Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭meowCat


    It is always difficult to leave someone you care about. You don't want to be the reason for them being sad. I've been there too OP. It took me ages to get out of a relationship, just because I really cared about my ex and couldn't handle being the reason for him being so sad!

    But I agree with previous posts! Get out! Soon!
    You are making yourself miserable. And you also deprive your g/f off the chance to meet someone new. Someone who really loves her and will make her happy.



    However, cases as yours always remind me of a tale a Russian friend told me when I was in that situation: The story of the the guy and the dog's penis. There was a guy who owned a dog, and he wanted to cut off the dog's penis. But he liked his dog a lot and didn't want to hurt him. So, he cut off the penis step by step. Each day, he cut off a little more. In the end, he hurt the dog more than if he had just cut it off once.
    This is in small font cause I feel I'll get slagged off for telling the story ;) ... I just could not not tell it. Sorry.


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    #6
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Think you two need to sit down, if you have a one sided relationship, no ones going to end up happy in the long run :(


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    #7
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Talk to her. You might find she feels the same. Afterall it was her that said "I think we should break up". That had to come from somewhere. Changing her mind may have just been fear of being alone or perhaps fear of hurting you.

    Like the others have said, theres no point in staying in a relationship if you're not happy. You'll just hurt the both of you in the end.


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    #8
    Hermione*
    Registered Users Posts: 14,983 ✭✭✭✭Hermione*


    One of the girls I live with and her b/f went through this for at least three months, but I'd say more like six. Her b/f was about five years older than her, but she's very young for 21. Anyway, what'd happen was that he'd say he didn't see a future for them, the relationship wasn't working, he though it best for both of them if it ended. She's cry lots, he'd feel bad, they'd be back on. But they wouldn't talk about whatever differences they had so two/ three weeks later, the same thing would happen again. This was going on for ages.

    If you're going to give your relationship another chance, I'd say talk to her calmly and openly first and decide to do so together because you want to be with each other, not to save somebody's feelings. Everybody cries when a relationship ends, regardless of how it ends or whom ends it. Or at least, most people do. If you really feel that the relationship isn't what you want, again talk to her, explain how your heart isn't in the relationship anymore and that it's better in those circumstance for both of you to end it.


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