Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

How do i deal with guy?? Assertiveness.

Options
  • 25-04-2006 8:34pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    I started a new job recently and I have been getting on quite well. I was in a different department the last few days and there is a guy there that is quite abit older than me. Hes quite rude and he has alot of smart comments. He hasn't said anything directly to me but the fella im working with has been there quite a while. He says smart comments to the fella im working with and he just says something smart back but that is feeding the guy. Im not going o do this.
    He even went as far as hitting the guy fairly hard (messing). I wouldn't go as far as to say the guy is a bully but I suppose thats personal opinion, maybe the other guy feels as though he's being bullied, I dunno... From my point of view the guy is just like that and is just a messer and not the nicest person though he takes messing a little further than most people would consider messing.

    Anyway, Im under this guy so I have to be very careful. Since starting the job I have been very assertive and getting on well. Ive never met someone like this before though and im not quite sure how to deal with him.

    If he says something smart inside a question, should I acknowledge him which will further feed him or should I ignore him and show him that he won't get my co-operation without respect. Maybe I should just be very straight with him and tell him that this isn't the way im used to working or be quite short with him until he gets the message. Remember, im only in the job a while.

    Thanks guys.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Lorri_L
    Closed Accounts Posts: 243 ✭✭Lorri_L


    Try be polite to him but say as little as possible. I would say the best way to go about it is to go to your HR dept and explain the situation.


  • Options
    #3
    ntlbell
    Registered Users Posts: 16,288 ✭✭✭✭ntlbell


    Can you give an example of something he's likley to say?

    maybe you're just picking him up wrong?


  • Options
    #4
    Huggles
    Registered Users Posts: 3,408 ✭✭✭Huggles


    Hi OP. I know exactly what you mean. I had a bloke like that in my last job and I have since moved on. The problem in my case was that the guy in question was part of the furniture of the company, had never worked in another job and had a closed mind as regards other peoples opinions. He was not commercially aware having only worked in one place all his life for 10+ years and made everyone elses life a living hell.

    Anyways in the end he was just a bully. He was very clever in the way he went about it, he was half joking most of the time but you just knew there was an under current in there somewhere.

    You need to stand up and be counted and ask questions, if he is smart with you then say "why are you being smart, it was only a question?", he will shut up sharpish! Another approach is fight fire with fire, be smart back. I hope this advice helps you, if you like this job then stick at it, other wise move n. Life is too short to be stressed out by idiots at work, i learnt that the hard way.


  • Options
    #5
    Blub2k4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭Blub2k4


    Never go above a superiors head to HR unless you have made your gripe known to the person directly and given them a chance to mend their ways.
    It is reasonable to report to HR once you have given them that chance and they have not taken it.
    Dont play games with the person.
    State clearly "There is no need for that, now moving on." dont make a big thing of it but pull it up every time, if that approach doesn't work then pull them aside and say "ok what's the story with this behaviour?", person will normally say it was a joke or whatever, they will get the idea in any case that you wont work that way.
    You say you are new in the job, that's all the more reason to stop behaviour like that, maybe they are there so long they all accept the situation and need a fresh set of eyes to point out the problems.


  • Options
    #6
    ferdi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    if he is making you working life hard, go over his head.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Vidic-is-good
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Vidic-is-good


    ferdi wrote:
    if he is making you working life hard, go over his head.
    No i think this would be a mistake. If you are just in the door the company can turn around and say 'its not working out, thanks anyway' You are in your probationery period and so you need to be careful. Its sucks but thats life.


  • Options
    #8
    Blub2k4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭Blub2k4


    Everyone deserves a chance to mend their ways, only go over his head when you have made clear what the problem is and it hasn't been resolved.

    It's common sense, no one likes the feeling of being stabbed in the back.


  • Options
    #9
    Untense
    Registered Users Posts: 175 ✭✭Untense


    The guy just sounds like your average dopey eejit. You might be picking him up wrong but that doesn't make his behaviour right.

    I had the pleasure of working with someone like that for a time, while he was a joker and mostly harmless, he was very childish and if he felt he was being bested in one of these little 'slag-offs', he'd give you an almost-playful thump in the shoulder. It was like being back in primary school.

    In all likelyhood he is probably just the work clown, mostly harmless but annoying none the less. If you don't react to his messing you'll hopefully be letting the boundaries known without having to 'stand up' to his play acting or having to take it any further.


Advertisement