Getting it off my chest.

spawney

First post

Anyway, Recently i've been having a rough time. Let me start from the beginning, I met this girl, back at the end of November last year.. we meeted up regularly, and basically, over the next few months, we fell in love with each other. (Im 18 and she is 20). It was special to me because i'd lost my virginity to this girl, and the fact that I was actually in love with her made it even more special. Well, The beginning of april came, all was fine and dandy, until, one day, she said to me that we were meeting too often, and she was feeling sort of 'closteraphobic (SP?)'. So i said ok, lets calm it down, move slower etc, and she agreed. She told me this when i was round at her house (I'm best friends with her brother) - and he was holding a 'poker night', so that put a downer on my night. Well some of her 'Friends' were over, and one guy, i was particularly wary of, they were both blatently flirting right in front of me. Yet, when i said to her at the end of the night, that were going to carry on, move slower etc, she said yes. Anyway, this guy stayed over that night, and slept in her bed, with her. (She swears that nothing happened). But isnt that a little odd that you would let an opposite sex 'friend' sleep in the same bed?

Anyway, basically, she contacted me less and less, and argued with me, and started meeting this other guy a LOT. Basically, they are with each other now. I dont understand how she can get over me at the drop of a hat, she SAYS she loved me, and she said that if something happens in the future then so be it. But i basically told her where to shove it, she cant just have me when she wants. Weve not spoken until yesterday (will explain below). Basically she says that as far as she is concerned, we never happened, and all this cr@p. which is painful. I loved her, and even thought i HATE her for saying these things and hurting me so badly, theres stil that bit of me that loves her, and I just seem unable to let go. I know this is stupid but if she came running back to me, I KNOW I wouldnt turn her away. Maybe its because it was my first love, and the fact i lost my virginity to her, but its so hard to let go.

Not only this, but due to meeting her a lot near christmas, i failed all my exams, and have to retake them again in the summer, which i feel im going to fail again

And to rub salt into the wound, i had an accident in my car on thursday night, the cars declared a write off, and i have whiplash, bruised ribs and pulled muslces.

Everythings going wrong at the moment, never been so low

Ruu_Old

Ok it looks like she played you for a fool, you will get those type of people unfortunately Its time to pick yourself up out of the dirt now, it'll take a bit of trying. Get fit again, sort out your schoolwork before worrying about girls. When thats all said and done, you will be stronger for it. Best of luck OP.

Doodee

Heh, sounds very familiar.

Look, theres not much you can really do about it. As harsh as this is going to sound you were strung along. She clearly had and interest in this "other" guy well before yee broke up. The reason she does not wish to admit that yee were an item is because in her eyes this means she has done nothing wrong. She also sounds pretty imature on an emotional level.
If I was in your shoes, i would just mark her off as being a notch in the bedpost and get my ass in gear for those exams. Bruises will heal and women will come and go but your Degree (or whatever it is your aiming to qualify at) will remain with you for your life. And when you look back in years to come you will really be able to appreciate getting your priorities straight.

I would take heed if she was to arrive at your doorstep, theres no point in being the "guy" she can always rely on coming back to / walk all over.

Anyways, hope this helps (this is me taking a 5min break from my Thesis )

spawney

Thanks for the comments guys.

Any other views on things from other people? And is there anymore tips you can help me to completely forget about her?

Cheers

Vidic-is-good

spawney wrote:

Thanks for the comments guys.

Any other views on things from other people? And is there anymore tips you can help me to completely forget about her?

Cheers

Dont remember the good things about your relationship. Bus especially dont remember her sleeping with that other guy. It will drive you mad. Just rise above it. There is a method often used for these situations. Picture her in your mind, shrink her down to a size of a passport photo, imagine her with a silly voice and make her look silly. Keep doing this over and over, then crumple up the image in your head. After some sessions of that, she will be a small insignificant part of your life.

LegacyUser

Not only this, but due to meeting her a lot near christmas, i failed all my exams, and have to retake them again in the summer, which i feel im going to fail again

Oh for God's sake. To be perfectly honest, if you're so immature that you failed you're exams purely because you were moping after your new girlfriend than she was damn right to tell you to back off.

There is a big difference between 18 and 20. She probably realised this quite quickly, and tried to ease you in to a break up using the old 'cooling things off' method. At the end of the day, she wanted it finished, and now it is.

Go find a nice girl of your own age and study more.

spawney

Armless wrote:

Oh for God's sake. To be perfectly honest, if you're so immature that you failed you're exams purely because you were moping after your new girlfriend than she was damn right to tell you to back off.

There is a big difference between 18 and 20. She probably realised this quite quickly, and tried to ease you in to a break up using the old 'cooling things off' method. At the end of the day, she wanted it finished, and now it is.

Go find a nice girl of your own age and study more.

Thanks for that useful comment.....

Sgt. Politeness

Thats tough spawney, but you know it happens, and happened to me. Going out with the missus around 2 years, next minute bam youre dumped and she was seein someone new practically the next day. Seemed like hell at the time, turned into the best thing that ever happened to me, met a new girl whos absolutely beautiful, and movin to america with her in june.
The lesson is, women can be heartltess f*ckin bitch sluts from hell, but theyre also absolute angels, case in point my new gf (until she dumps me at which point she will become a heartless f*ckin bitch slut from hell). You just gotta figure out who's who and sure youll get burned along the way, but whats for you will never pass you by as my old ma always says.

oulu

The old saying Time is a great healer comes to mind,we all remember the one that we loved and lost but most of us get over it take the good from the time with her it is all experience in this game we call Love, Things can be lower believe me , A friend I went to school with has been given less than a year to live leaving behind 4 kids all under 10 and his wife, so things could be worst I'm thinking, but do get stuck into your books it is your life after all

planck2

look, there is no difference really in 18 and 20. You liked her a lot and she was too immature to break off the relationship. You deserve better. forget about her and get on with your life. Concentrate on exams