Swing Scene

oulu

Just wondering got talking to my brother and his best friend and wife came up in some chat, I said they seem to have it all , always together happy as you like get on great with their kids who range from 10- late teens, then comes the brother out with it that they have been swinging for the last 5 yrs , now I thought this was a joke as they are stuck like glue yo each other and I thought they would be jealous but he said that his friend said because they have full trust with each other that they can do it but if there was any douth that one could be jealous they would never have started doing it, they seem to meet with 5 other couples and have even gone away on weekends, just thinking the wife and I that it sounds exciting and lots of fun, anyone any experience they would like to pass on, we by nature are not jealous and have talked about the thought of never been with anyone else in a sexual way, we have an active sex life and are now really thinking of exploring the swinging scene, even if we tried it once and this not suit then so be it,
also I watched a C4 programme that said there is 5 million swingers in Germany

Fanny Cradock

ugh, difficult to understand your post.

anyway, why don't you see if your wife is interested before you start enquiring. you say neither of you are jealous by nature, well, correct me if i'm wrong, but swinging is hardly the norm for the majority of couples out there. it may put unwelcome pressures on your relationship. there are other ways to spice up your sex life without going down the swinging route.

Iago

The full stop is your friend. As are paragraphs, and occasional Upper Case lettering.

In relation to the gist of your post (which was difficult to discern to be honest) swinging is something that sounds great in theory but rarely lives up to it's promise. Let's consider some scenarios, we'll assume that both you and your partner have both agreed that you are willing to give this a try.

Scenario 1:
You don't find the other woman attractive, but it's obvious that your wife finds the husband attractive. You can back out of course, but then you have to allow for the fact that when you do find someone you find attractive, your wife may well want to back out of that situation.

If you don't back out, you're basically having sex for the sake of it with someone you don't find attractive while your wife is having sex with someone she does find attractive. How do you feel when you're lying next to her in your own bed later that night?

Scenario 2:
You both find your respective potential partners attractive, so you have sex because you want to, rather than you have to. It's good, in fact it's better than good, it's earth shattering. WoW! When you sleep with your wife, do you ask her to change anything as a result of this? How do you think she feels about that, knowing that it's likely you preferred something about the way the other woman interacted with you?

What if the situation was reversed and she asked you to change something?

Scenario 3:

You have a swinging experience and while you're not that keen to repeat it, suddenly your wife is all for it and is pressuring/trying to persuade you to do it again. Do you feel threatened? Do you think that maybe she isn't getting the level of satisfaction she requires? How do you think this will make you interact on a non-sexual level moving forward? If she is out without you, will you be any more concerned than you had been before you tried this?

These are just possible scenarios, there's no saying that it would or wouldn't happen, but as I said swinging is far better in theory than in practice. There are many couples that regularly swing and it doesn't affect them at all, but you would want to be very very sure of this before taking that step.

I'm very openminded and I like the thought of swinging, and threesomes, but I could never do them with someone I have an emotional attachment with. Too much to risk losing for the sake of physical pleasure.

daRobot

You would want to be very secure in yourself and your relationship before you start into that.

It might open up a big bag of worms for you.

Gotta picture the worst scenario-

Real goodlooking husband ,who has better sex technique, a way bigger dick and is better looking than you starts banging your wife.She moans louder and comes harder than you've ever made her.While you're getting your ego battered by shagging his (possibly very hot) wife, who you're not really doing much for.

Next time you're shagging your wife, you notice that she's nowhere near as loud as she was with mr swinger husband.And the occassions that she is loud, you start to suspect that she's thinking about him.

Loads of stuff like this needs to be considered.

Careful now.

wingnut

My girlfriend and I have been going out over 5 years and swinging for three. Although we have been swinging for a a long time we haven't actually met that many cpls. This is due in large part to our own fusiness and distinct lack of young slim attractive cpls in this country.

We are an extremely close couple and discussed every aspect of it before we joined any websites. Is it good or bad for a couple? my view is that it would completely depend on the dynamic of the couple involved. I don't think its possible to make a sweeping statement saying if it is good or bad, but rather something the couple has to work out. That being said we have never had a bad experience to date.

A lot of posts seem to focus on the swap and how repective partners will compare. There are many 'flavours' of swinging. We are 'soft swap' swingers where the girls get together and we all have fun in the same room but do not swap partners. We have not swapped partners as of yet, neither have we ruled it out. We both get a lot out it but it is not a neccesary part of our relationship. It does require a realtionship where you trust your partner enough to discuss anything. We do it for whats in it for us as a couple not as individuals. We don't need to spice up our sex life as we can't get enough of each other but we choose to do it because we can enjoy it as a couple. We wouldn't stop just because i 'looks' like we are not satisfying each other. We discussed our fantasies and figures my girlfriend being with another woman was something we would both enjoy.

There is a growing lifestyle community in this country. There was 14 couples at the last social get together we were at. The most amazing thing is the people are so normal, just adventurous. We count the couples we've met as friends. Unfortunatly there are no venues in this country where something regular is organised but there are some good clubs in the uk - Birmingham and Manchester.

It has been good for us, but we know others for whom it is not. Consider it carefully.

takethebiscuit

Iago wrote:

The full stop is your friend. As are paragraphs, and occasional Upper Case lettering.

Oo-er...get a load of her!

Nevyn

and takethebiscuit why don't you get a load of the rules for posting in this forum.
You will find them in the forum chater.
Off topic and unhelpful postings will get you banned from this forum.

Gone West

oulu wrote:

I watched a C4 programme that said there is 5 million swingers in Germany

Yeah, Germans are weird like that.

takethebiscuit

Thaedydal wrote:

Off topic and unhelpful postings will get you banned from this forum.

653 million apologies (but it was funny...go on, u know it was)

Please permit me to add my 10-euro worth to this oxymoronically serious discussion about swinging:

Perhaps the only good thing to come out of that dire film Chasing Amy (enitrely spoiled by the high-pitched voice of the lead female actress) was what the lesbionic Amy said about sleeping with other people: that you can be with someone and suddenly see something in their eyes, and that something will be something that you will want to see again and again (she said something like that anyway).

What the gist was, I suppose, is that people's true character can often emerge during sex, such is the power...and peril...of the act. If a couple is swinging, it's very easy for one partner to get little demon thoughts in their head about whether the other is hung up on someone else. Ignorance is bliss, and in fact I'd probably recommend having an affair over swinging, if I didn't think that having affairs were the equivalent of murder. But, hey, that's just me, and I've always had smashin' relationships, so never understood the whole cheatin' thing anyway.

Pardon me if this tome is slightly garbled...I have a cold (possibly bird flu, but unconfirmed at the moment).