friend drinking too much

LegacyUser

Hi! I post here but because this problem is about a friend Im goin unreggy.

Basically my friend (and it is a friend not *a friend*) has a rough time at home. her parents have a very rocky marraige and probably should have gotten divorced but are staying together for the kids. Unfortunately this is having a bad effect on my friend. shes very sensitive and thinks too deeply about things.
Anyway recently whenever we're goin out she has been drinking an awful lot more than she used to. Also she's developing a "lets get totally plastered" attitude.
Now I like having a few drinks, getting tipsy, whatever but I think my friend is drinking to forget. Ususally she ends up having drunk too much, crying, not getting in anywhere and has to be brought to someones house to sleep it off. she cant go home because her parents dont know how much she drinks.
I just wnat to know woould anyone have advice about how I can approach this with her? Because im worried about her.
Thanks

Asiaprod

Unregjst4now wrote:

I just wnat to know woould anyone have advice about how I can approach this with her? Because im worried about her.
Thanks

Tell her you care about her, you are worried about her and offer to go to see a councilor with her. Her problem lies at home and she needs the support of good friends to bring her to someone who can really help her, and with no disrespect intended to you who are really acting as a true friend, I don't think it is you who can help her. Alcohol is a very bad substitute and she needs to really break this habit before it destroys her. Alcohol is not the problem, her home life is the real problem IMHO.

Ruu_Old

Shes going to need help Im afraid, you might be the only one that can tell her that. A difficult situation I know.

LegacyUser

hey!
thanks for the replies.
Asiaprod, I totally agree with you her problem is her home situation and I know theres very little I can do to help that. I've suggested counselling to her before, she agrees when drunk and upset but the next day she says shes fine and got it all off her chest while drinking and getting upset. its a never ending cycle really. I dont know how to get her to take seriously what im saying...

sachamama

the best time to talk to her is when she is not drunk. truly it is, because then her head is clear. ask her how many times she has drunk herself stupid in the last week, the last month, the last few months. get her to see that its not right. dont talk to her while she is drunk and think you are getting somewhere cos then its you that will be disappointed and angry with her.
and remember that unfortunatly this is her life and they are her problems and you can only encourage and support her to do the right thing, you cant make her do it.
best of luck.

Sleepy

OP, I did pretty much the exact same thing when my parents seperated: put on a strong front at home to try keep everyone else's heads together (the curse of being the eldest) and went out and got bladdered four to six nights a week for about two years.

My advice would be to just leave her go. Let her know you're there for her to talk to about things if she needs you, try to get her to pace herself a little better by doing simple things: go for food before going out, drink in rounds with her so you can slow her down a little.

She'll get through this soon enough. I know I wouldn't change much about the two years I did it for. The only thing I would change about that was how much money I wasted on the whole thing though tbh, I had some great times along the way.

/phew, not normally this honest on boards...

Kolodny

sachamama wrote:

the best time to talk to her is when she is not drunk.

I agree, she's more likely to take it on board when sober. We're all capable of making promises (and solving the world's problems!) when inebriated and conveniently forgetting all about it the next day.

I'm sure she's probably aware that her drinking is getting out of control - you can pull her up on her behaviour, encourage her to get it together and be supportive, but she's got to acknowledge it herself first. Hopefully she realise she's more able to cope with the situation at home when she not drunk/hungover/depressed and she'll feel stronger it.