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Bite my tongue in future?

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  • 18-04-2006 12:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all basically the story goes like this...
    myself and the gf been going out for years however have a long distance realtionship , so talking about ur thoughs and feelings is v important to both of us. The past month hasnt been the best for me(work/college) but i dont mind and make the best of our conversations.

    However for the past 3 weeks shes been constantly complaining about her work and family and life. I listened and tried to her and give her advice as best i can. However this past week things got a little too much for me to to handle. So instead off stressing out to her or flying off the handle i said that perhaps we shouldnt talk for a few days.

    I rang her this morning explaining about why i didnt call about work,college,and how her stress is effecting myself too. She basically came out saying "well if u dont want to talk to me , then dont talk to me or call me !!!"

    Well i said i would call her this afternoon and see how shes doing, but again she said i shouldnt bother cos im only doing it because i feel obligated. Which of course i dont , i call her because i love her.


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    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    alright brother. it seems me an you have alot in common. I could have posted what you have, word for word.

    I suppose if i had any words of wisdom i wouldnt be in this position either. goodluck mate


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    #3
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    She is obviously very hurt that you have decided not to talk to her and she doesnt even know why.

    Can you not communicate with your girlfriend properly without 'flying off the handle' or 'stressing out'.

    How is someone supposed to stop something they dont realise they are doing? Have a chat with her and tell her how you feel.


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    #4
    dudara
    Registered Users Posts: 33,519 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    It's hard to always keep the channels of communication open and a lot of a relationship is also knowing when to be quiet.

    It's good that you support your girlfriend, but it's also reasonable to require some silence as well. Talk to her about this. Reassure her that you're there for her, but that you've to deal with your own pressures as well.


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    #5
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    I think one of the problems you are having is that, in general, when guys talk about a problem, they are saying "hey - help me out with this, would ya?" But when girls talk about problems, they are really just venting. They don't particularly want advice, just want to get stuff out in the open. Does that sound like it might make sense in your case? The trick is, just let her talk. Try not to butt in. She's probably not asking you to fix everything (which is what, as a man, you are programmed to try to do), she just wants your sympathy.


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