no IDEA show INTEREST

In IRL

I'm a male college student.

I can talk and have a chat with new people without a problem.

My problem is that I can't hit on a girl. We maybe flirting a bit and chatting away but I can't seem to close the deal so to speak.

At the end of the night I always end up going home alone without a phone number or anything. Unless the girl is more forward than I am.

It seems weird having so much fun conversing then suddenly asking for a phone number/kissing her? All make out sessions have been initiated by the girlies. NEVER by me. Maybe I am scared of rejection actually. Only thought about it writing this.:eek:

How to move on smoothly from chatting to showing a romantic & sexual interest (that I like her and would like to meet up again sometime/ making out/even ONS??)? Should I communicate better with body language? Change topic of conversation to sexxual topics? Have no clue. People with experience, help.

I would love it if a guy/girl tells me how they go about asking for a phone number/meet-up after having just met at a bar or something. If it's too much I am asking for on the forum, just message me. I won't let anyone know of your silki smooth skills:p

Crucifix

In IRL wrote:

It seems weird having so much fun conversing then suddenly asking for a phone number/kissing her?

The kissing can be tough to gauge, but if you've been talking to a girl for a while and it's going well, just ask for the number whenever it's ending (going home or whatever).

daiixi

umm just ask for the persons number? Say "so maybe we could catch up sometime, can I have your number?" and then try to (1) put it into your phone correctly, (2) remember the following day that you actually got a number and (3) CALL IT - don't wait three days or play games. If you get a number, use it or delete it. Also, don't wait a week and then call/txt the girl on either a Thursday/Friday or Saturday to see what she's doing that weekend. Any girl will automatically be busy whether they're sitting on their arse at home bored or not.

Good luck!

Black Swan

In IRL wrote:

My problem is that I can't hit on a girl. We maybe flirting a bit and chatting away but I can't seem to close the deal so to speak.

It seems weird having so much fun conversing then suddenly asking for a phone number/kissing her?

I would love it if a guy/girl tells me how they go about asking for a phone number/meet-up after having just met at a bar or something.

After engaging her in conversation for awhile, like just ask her with a smile, no lines or put ons, being yourself, and if she's interested and not involved with someone else, then you should get the number. Kissing on the first meeting in a bar or where you might meet her seems like a fast one that may not go over well with most you meet, but everyone is different and what happens when you meet that first time has a lot to do with it for sure.

colm_mcm

jaysus whatever you do, don't go rehearsing lines for getting a phone number! just ask for her number, and let her know you enjoyed chatting to her, give her a few texts the day after. Arrange to meet up again (without seeming too desperate!)

best of luck!

Dirk Gently

I suppose it is a bit awkward making the jump from having a laugh to having a bit of the other. I assume you like nice friendly type girls as opposed to the female version of the sex crazed male who would leave you in no doubt of their intentions to "have a shot of yer mickey"

I find that it pays to be a bit cheeky. You'll have to use your own judgment as to how cheeky as this can back fire spectacularly, (trust me)
Be suggestive and let the girl dictate the response.
Don’t be afraid of eye contact, but don’t stare the poor girl out of it. Little things like fixing her hair or if your hands happen to touch hold on gently and let her decide on whether to pull away or not. All innocent things but you can tell alot by her response as to if she likes you or if she thinks your some kind of creep.
I don’t recommend this but if you feel comfortable that the girl will take it with a pinch of salt, you could say something like " I heard your a great kisser, but I don’t believe it" thus friendly slagging and flirting commences leading up to the "there’s only on way to find out" response from the girl. Please note what I said earlier about back firing spectacularly. You have to use your own judgment or you can very easily end up with a kick in the balls. Remember women are mad! If your too pushy you’re a creep, if your not pushy enough your weak, men are insensitive bastards and when were sensitive were not been manly. It’s a mine field but you will find a safe path through eventually.
I know its a cliche but be urself and limit the lines. Its very easy to see through people. Show a geniune interest and a bit of friendly flirting. Dont ask her for her number, just offer yours.
Good luck.

turbot

Or you could give her a sweet and a moment later, say, I want the sweet back and then kiss her.

Basically, take all the things you are too shy to do, and decide to do them anyway, even if you get in trouble for it.

You'll have way more fun and get way more of a kick out of it, and you'll probably have a better sex life as a result.

metrovelvet

Phone numbers are not what they used to be. You are investing way too much in it. With caller ID, mobiles, answering machines, etc etc there are a million ways to avoid speaking with someone so giving out a number is not a big deal to a woman these days [unless she has kids possibly]. Just ask.

The problem is your thinking of it in terms of getting something from someone which is just, well nasty, even though your intentions may be good or at least you think of them as such. You need to think of these things far more collaboratively.

Clown bag - really - is it any wonder we are mad with what we have to put up with? Women like to see a man who can handle risk, so when a man can risk rejection and can handle it well then this is impressive. If you are an indecisive blob of jelly - who will find that sexy? Who?

Selik

To the OP.

Personally speaking if I like a girl that I'm chatting to I would compliment her alot (not in a sleazy way btw) and I always find this goes down a treat. In terms of getting a number, I just ask. I don't think I've ever been refused a phone no (although about 5yrs ago or so I got a fake one!)

The kissing bit, a little more tricky. You should obviously have an idea or not as to whether the chick likes you after chatting for a while and if you think there's any chance at all just go for it when your heads are close together or some other oppurtune moment where it wouldn't appear awkward, susprising or out of place. This has generally worked a treat for me over the years too. Alot of girls just won't make the first move, even if they do like you. For the same reasons that you can't seem to kiss them, kinda ironic eh? You can lose your chance this way as if this chick in question is in anyway attractive at all there'll be someone waiting to take your place - after you've done all the hard work! Not good.

Also as someone else stated already in this thread, sometimes you're better off just getting a number and following it up, again you should have a good idea whether this is worthwhile or not from the time you spent with said chick the first time around, assuming you didn't snog her.

Anyway, hope my advice is helpful to ya dude and best of luck with it. Just remember, confidence!

Dirk Gently

metrovelvet wrote:

Clown bag - really - is it any wonder we are mad with what we have to put up with? Women like to see a man who can handle risk, so when a man can risk rejection and can handle it well then this is impressive. If you are an indecisive blob of jelly - who will find that sexy? Who?

Like I said ... MAD. They like to see you get rejected and handle it well.
So all the OP has to do is get a girl to reject him and he'll be sorted.
A mine field I tell you.
Hey metrovelvet, wanna go out sometime. You seem really sensible (for a woman:p )

metrovelvet

clown bag- you cant use me as an example to point to the entire female gender as mad. That is madness in itself.

No you dont have to get rejected, you just have to come across like you own what your doing. Women smell fear. Once its in the room, forget it, youve lost.

Dirk Gently

metrovelvet wrote:

clown bag- you cant use me as an example to point to the entire female gender as mad. That is madness in itself.

No you dont have to get rejected, you just have to come across like you own what your doing. Women smell fear. Once its in the room, forget it, youve lost.

relax, im only having a bit of craic. I Don't for a moment buy into the generalisation of any group of people. Everybodies differnet and unique dispite insecure efforts to conform to a particular mindset which is deemed acceptable.

but women are mad!

In IRL

OP here. Thanks for the advice guys.
Here is what I got - confidence, just ask for the number.

Actaully what I would like to know is the in-betweens.
Between being confident and asking for the number.
Like I wouldn't know from after having initiated the chatting and asking the number.........
I know I had said I have no problem chatting but by that I meant just the courage of initiating, and not following up.
Sometimes the girls just talk on and on and on. This is a rarity though. I feel like I, as a guy must somehow break the ice for the lady in question to open upto me so to speak.

Help?

PM me if you want.:)

newestUser

metrovelvet wrote:

No you dont have to get rejected, you just have to come across like you own what your doing. Women smell fear. Once its in the room, forget it, youve lost.

I can't be the only one who thinks this sounds a bit arrogant!

Some women like quiet, reserved men. It's usually the blokes on here who make sweeping generalisations about womens attitudes to men, it's refreshing to see a woman do it for a change!

Sony

Hard to know what to advise you - say anything you like once it doesnt sound rehearsed

Everyone has a different way of doing it - I have'nt a clue what im going over to say to a girl until I say hello and she says hi back ... all i know is that Im most probably gonna be a bit cheeky(not sleazy),sarcastic and most importantly myself...which is the most unique way to be believe it or not!