beat myself up

+Boss^Is^Dead+

Hey all,been running at a brick wall with relationships for about 3 years now.
Spent 2 years with a girl and things got sooooo shakey with the rest of my life.Nearly lost my whole family,friends everything because of how crazy things got with us.It was a good year after her before anyone could fill the void and even then it wasn't right.Long story short,I'm picky!
But I find a girl who I had a brief thing with in secondary school all those years ago,and she's amazing!!Everytime I see her I want to just hold her hand or touch her hair or ANYTHING!!We have lunch nearly everyday and she calls round to my place and we talk for hours.She split with a long term boyfriend of 3 years at Chrimbo and I she keeps telling me that she's just not interested in lads at the moment.That crushes everytime I hear it.I'd do anything for her.I'd love to take her away to Italy or something for the weekend,or dinner or ANYTHING!!I really would do anything for her if she was mine but I don't think it's ever going to happen.I've been advised to stop spending so much time with her as it's just unfair on myself.I don't know what to do.I think about her all the time and when she leaves or when we say goodbye it kinda bites,if only for a second,but I know my head is quite deep in it now and something has to be done.Any suggestions????Please help,I don't want to lose her as a friend ut I don't know if I can just go on the way we are!!!


Thanks for reading!!

~Stevie

Ruu_Old

I believe that if its going to happen with you guys, then it will in the future. She split up from her long term boyfriend, thats a pretty big thing and shes probably still not over that. Try to get involved with others things besides her or she might think you are a bit clingy. I dont think any girls like that. You wont lose her as a friend, dont worry. Best of luck anyway OP.

Nickibaby*

Who exactly advised you not to spend time with her?

I wouldn't put all my hopes on it working but it might. She obviously like spending time with you too. Maybe suggest going away for the weekend with her and see what she thinks of the idea?

+Boss^Is^Dead+

I mentioned it to two friends and they both think it's gettin' to me more than anything they've known about me,and told me to do something else.I try not to get clingy but I totally know what you mean.It's quite hard to do anything else without having fun and then thinking "wish she was here" ya know!I've got a great job,money isn't a problem,but I never want to over step my mark with her.I missed her 21'st as we weren't talking then.Not because we fell out,only there was always a strange rift there and I could never figure it out.I bought her these shoes she mentioned to me about 2 years ago as a belated birthday pressie,and she loved them,it was really great.And yeah I'm "the nicest sweetest most considerate guy she's ever met" but that isn't enough.I've won her trust but maybe not her heart and that bites more than anything.Summers coming again and if I sit through this one with this building up I don't know how long I can stay friends with her.Plus I've quit the cigarettes and I'm on edge quite a lot these days.Can't blame it all on the lack of Lord Nico. but it isn't helping matters!I asked her to go to a work dinner in may and she agreed straight away saying she'd love to.I'm nervous even thinking about it.It's going to be a long night....stomach acid can make you feel sick through thought alone...what's with that.not motion sickness.....Emotion Sickness is a more fitting title I reckon!

cupsoftea

Well if you say you don't know how long more you can just stay friends with her then you really aren't her friend.
This is one thing that REALLY annoys me about men. They pretend to be your friend for ages and then you realise they are interested in way more than friendship and if they don't get it they are out of there. So then you are left without a friendship that you thought was really special.
I'd say just be honest about your intentions towards her. Tell her that you know she has just come out of a relationship and may not be next or near ready for another but at least be honourable and tell her that you don't see her as a friend, but as potentially something more.

Spliffany692000

I think you should tell her....if she split from a long term boyfriend and says she aint interested in lads at the mo...I think shes saying she doesn wanna be hurt again!! If you let her know your there for her in every way she might see the light!

Why not take her to a nice restaurant for a late dinner and tell her how you feel? shes not a mind reader and if I was in her posistion Id like to know if somebody was head over heels for me!

Whats the worst that could happen....she says she doesn feel the same...so what youll learn to love her as a friend but then again you could be onto something good...I hope youll let me know what you decide to do xx