problem performing

Hi,

I’ve recently met someone, who I really like; we’ve known each other for a good while but recently have become closer and gotten intimate. She’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and I’m beginning to develop strong feelings for her.

My problem is though; we’ve been together intimately twice now. Both times though have been after nights out, where we’ve had a few drinks etc, now it certainly wasn’t a drunken fling as we were both fairly sober and well aware of what was happening. Anyway, after the kissing and foreplay etc when it came to full sex I couldn’t keep my erection and also during foreplay. This has happened on both occasions and I’m worried there’s something wrong with me. Is it because I was tired and had a drink or two? I’m very attracted to this girl and was shocked that I couldn’t keep it up and very embarrassed. She assures me that’s its fine and I’ve nothing to worry about but I sure she’s just saying that so I won’t feel bad, I’m sure she too feels ashamed and unattractive, I told her she was beautiful and it wasn’t her, it was just I was tired.

The more I think about it the worse I feel. I feel really ill and totally ashamed. I need help, piece of mind anything!!

Huggles

<unkown> wrote:

Hi,

I’ve recently met someone, who I really like; we’ve known each other for a good while but recently have become closer and gotten intimate. She’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and I’m beginning to develop strong feelings for her.

My problem is though; we’ve been together intimately twice now. Both times though have been after nights out, where we’ve had a few drinks etc, now it certainly wasn’t a drunken fling as we were both fairly sober and well aware of what was happening. Anyway, after the kissing and foreplay etc when it came to full sex I couldn’t keep my erection and also during foreplay. This has happened on both occasions and I’m worried there’s something wrong with me. Is it because I was tired and had a drink or two? I’m very attracted to this girl and was shocked that I couldn’t keep it up and very embarrassed. She assures me that’s its fine and I’ve nothing to worry about but I sure she’s just saying that so I won’t feel bad, I’m sure she too feels ashamed and unattractive, I told her she was beautiful and it wasn’t her, it was just I was tired.

The more I think about it the worse I feel. I feel really ill and totally ashamed. I need help, piece of mind anything!!

This happens to alot of guys and it is certainly nothing to be ashamed about. Try not to think about it as being overly anxious would make it worse. If the situation doesn't get better go see your doctor.

Drinking is not helpful btw...


makes it all a lot more difficult

Ruu_Old

I think its just nerves in this case, try and relax a bit more or let your woman take control and help you out

fuzzywiggle

Maybe you're just a little nervous? If so that might be what's causing it. Relax yourself and you'll be fine!

LegacyUser

that happened to me for the first time last week, i was with my girlfriend and things got a little heated up. i was ok before then, but i couldnt keep it up when we were going to have sex. i put it down to nerves though, considering it was my first time with her. i was extremely nervous as to how i'd perform.
maybe i just need to relax more. i dunno, any suggestions?

Thanks all for advise.

I tried relaxing and even taking my mind off it but to no avail, I even tried concentrating on it very hard! still there was nothin.

But I think the next time we're together Im goin to stay off the drink..or at least try and find a time where we're not out drinking. In a very small way im a little pleased that we have'nt done it properly yet cos I want it to be really perfect, I wana show her how much I feel about her and make her feel special...but cant help thinking that what if I **** up again?

I think Im a little intimidated by her aswell, shes been with a few guys before and Ive only ever had one or two women. I keep thinking shes comparing me to these other guys and that Im useless...and I might not even have another chance with her.

Im thinking about it too much i know but i just want it outta my head!

daiixi

From a girls point of view I'd suggest that you take it easy and not stress about it too much. I wouldn't worry about her comparing you to other guys - she's probably just as nervous thinking that you might think she's meant to be a complete sex goddess just because she's had a couple of partners.
Remember that sex isn't everything and there's plenty of other things you can do other than penetration. If it happens again go chat to your doctor but chances are it's just nerves.

RampagingBadger

Sounds like a bit of brewers droop to me. Don't sweat it. Has happened to myself in the past and when it does you just have to find other ways to keep her happy . Anyway staying off the booze sounds like a capital ides.

Bosco84

Stay off the booze? No way, drink more! It works a whole lot better.

arbeitsscheuer

I can't really give you any advice on this, as I'm basically in the same position but without the benefit of having, um, actually come through the problem with flying colours if you know what I mean. But it's been knawing at me for ages to the point where there really ain't that much I can do about it. Of course it's all psychological, and probably anxiety-related, but there seems to have been no way for me to conquer the problem, so that really does leave me a bit nowhere. Of course, added to this it's happened every time, so I think anyone would understand the fact that by this stage I'm actually afraid of sex just generally.

I really should be posting this Unregged, but I can't be arsed tbh.

Good luck anyway OP, I hope you have better luck than I've had

LegacyUser

Similar thing happened to me..went to Wellman clinic and cost a bomb.. and found out its all in my head..got a prescription for Cialis and it worked a charm! then just forgot all about it and no problems now!

Just go to your GP and ask for a prescription..more than likely its just nerves and anxeity esp if you can choke the chicken and get morning glory!