Am i in the wrong?

LegacyUser

I need help here.
2 years ago my girlfriend cheated on me with her friend. Now after some long hard thinking on my part i gave her another chance. My only condition was she never see him again. Now i know "leopards and spots" but i really love this girl and i know she regrets what happened. Any way things slowly got better and better. I asked her to marry me she said yes. Its been awkward because nobody knew about what happened. So any get togethers the fellas have not been invited due to my condition. Not that the fellas would not be welcome but the way she sees it if you invite one and not the others they ask questions. We had a party last night and a few of her girlfriends came and one boyfriend. The rest of the group are giving out because they were not invited. My girlfriend has mentioned it that they have been giving out a few times and i feel guilty. I feel like crap because of my girlfriends actions. Am i wrong in what i asked of her. I dont think so. Can anyone point me in the right direction here im really lost.
Cheers

spiritboy

after what happened all those years ago i'll assume that your girlfried (or is she now your wife?) has not given you any cause for distrust? it's in the past man leave it where it belongs. because otherwise she'll always feel that you don't trust her and you'll always have doubts in the back of your head.

Miss Fluff

There's no reason why she can't see the rest of her male friends. Perhaps she should just have a quiet word with this one particular guy and explain that you would both be more comfortable if he stayed away.

Brend

I think it was definatly the wrong thing to do, i dont agree with people banning there partners from seeing their friends regardless of what has happened before, i think its petty and childish. If you demand your partner not to see someone, you obviously dont trust them fully. I know your not to fond of this guy (putting it mildly), and just because your girlfriend is friends with him doesnt mean you have to be, just let the guy know you dont like him but without swing for him and your only doing it for your girlfriends benifit. If he tries to wind you up but just rise above it becasue you know you girlfriend is going home with you. In the end you'll come out smelling of roses.

vorbis

you're fine mate. You didn't bar her from all her friends, just from the guy she cheated with. Thats very reasonable. More than I would be I'd say. If she feels she can't invite the rest of her friends without him, then she's just manipulating you into relenting at some point.

I mean all she would have to do is say to her friends that she had a falling out with that guy and that she doesn't want to see him any more. The fact that she hasn't done this is odd imo.

[someguy]

Vorbis's post hits the nail on the head.

kittenkiller

Try inviting all the guys over at the next event (or even a couple of drinks with them in the pub or someone else's place) & see how it goes.
You owe that to yourself.
You never know what it'll be like now after such a long time.
See how it goes & discuss it with your fiancee afterwards.
You could always just start to ask a different group of guys round if it still feels awkward.
Don't feel guilty for how you're feeling but do give yourself the opportunity to get over it.

Best of luck.