total loss of sex drive!

LegacyUser

rightio, i havnt the faintest clue whats happened to me?! i used to have such a high sex drive now me and my bf are lucky to have sex once a week.

we've been together nearly 3 years. at the start it was great we both had the same sex drive now i just dont wanna do it, although when i do , i do like it. ive told my bf that its not him, yet he still keeps hassling me.

i am on the pill but its never affected me so i dont think its that thats causing it..

just want to know if anybody has had the same problem

thanks

LegacyUser

i think that your hormones can change around a lot depending on loads of things. i was on the pill and had a mad sex drive, then went off for 3 months and lost it totally nearly, then back on, it was grand, now i'm off it for a good few months and i think my bodies settling down back to normal.

so its either your hormones, and your body changing and maybe your pill not suiting you, or else maybe its the fact u say ur boyfriends "hassling" you about it... it would suggest u feel a bit pressured into feeling sexy towards someone whos not really being sensitive about ur feelings?

i would address this aswell as thinking about things like diet and stress and the pill and all. usually i lose libido when i been goin out with a fella for a while and we've gotten used to the sex. so maybe try out new things too.

i'd say thats about as much as anone could suggest

the Guru

Have you changed your pill , Have you started any other medication, such as antidepressants as they can lower your sex drive, also from my own experience after the honeymoon period where your fooking like bunnies, sex becomes less of the pinnacle point of the relationship and your focus on other important matters.

Also I think him hassling you, might drive you further away, he needs to respect your choice, and that you have a issue, and pressuring you ain't going to fix it, but some guys are weak and tend to stray when they're not getting there dinner at home so to speak.

Maybe speak to your doctor or research your pill further , .... when did this start.

daiixi

Sex drives do change over time and during relationships. External factors such as work, study, family, home as well as things such as weight gain can be factors too. Maybe you're just going through a down time..
Forcing yourself to have sex won't help the situation as you'll start associating sex as something unpleasant and something you force yourself to do. I would hope that your partner would be understanding and supportive about the matter however you might want to pop along to your doctor and chat to them about it anyway.

LegacyUser

ive been on the same pill since weve been together and its never affected me.. when i say hassling, i mean hes complianing that hes not getting any so to speak. but i dont want to and im not gonna force myself. our relationship has been very rocky lately.. maybe that could be a factor

Miss Fluff

Unreg501 wrote:

our relationship has been very rocky lately.. maybe that could be a factor

If you're mad with someone, it can be hard to flick a switch into heaving temptress mode when your partner has annoyed you. Some people revel in replacing their anger with passion and using sex as a making-up tool, others don't.

When things are good, why don't you try and instigate some action? After 3 years it's up to BOTH OF YOU to put the effort in and seeing sex as "hard work" is the start of a slippery slope. Yes, you have to work at it and you may never get back to the take me here, take me there, take me anywhere days but it is still possible to have a great sex life. You said when you do actually have sex you enjoy it, so it's about putting the effort in and getting yourself in the mood.

If you feel pressurised why don't you put a ban on it for a week or two and just indulge in heavy petting and imaginative foreplay....that way, when you're ban is up, you'll be rearing to go!!!

sachamama

the bigest and most effective sex organ is the mind. if you dont want sex with him then your mind doesnt but your body still likes it.
what could you do to get your mind back into the groove?

TheNog

i lost my libido for nearly 2 years so i went to see my GP. She made me realise that I was under so much stress with money worries, problems with work, smoking and i was over weight. Everything together took a toll on our relationship but after a few changes and losing 4stone everything returned to normal and we couldn't be happier.

r3nu4l

From a mans point of view I think you two should talk! His pressuring you is a bit selfish but perhaps he doesn't see that there are other problems.

Next time he complains, just tell him how you are feeling, ask can you spend time just holding each other and being close for a change without it having to lead to sex or the pressure of sex. Tell him it's important and that you don't understand what is happening but that the pressure isn't helping. If he thinks the pressure is going to lead to even less sex, he might back off a bit.

Is he not considerate enough to you in daily life? I've been guilty of that in the past and needed reminders that romance is about more than a quick poke at bedtime

blueshirt

Unreg501 wrote:

rightio, i havnt the faintest clue whats happened to me?! i used to have such a high sex drive now me and my bf are lucky to have sex once a week.

we've been together nearly 3 years. at the start it was great we both had the same sex drive now i just dont wanna do it, although when i do , i do like it. ive told my bf that its not him, yet he still keeps hassling me.

i am on the pill but its never affected me so i dont think its that thats causing it..

just want to know if anybody has had the same problem

thanks

The answer is so easy, get a new boyfriend, variety is the spice of life.

Spliffany692000

If its sex you dont have an interest in well why dont you try something new in the bedroom?? why not act out that fantisy thats hidden in the back of your mind or try different things...have a bath together or massage...theres loads you can do to relight that fire...dig deep in your sexy thoughts and pull summa out!! It does work!! Best of luck x