telling friends im on anti-depressants??

LegacyUser

hey, got a book load of problems, but hey i might as well start with this, ive been on anti-depressants on and off for 3 years, constantly for the last year, i was out of the country for the previous year and a half, and pretty much went through hell on earth, but my friends over there (england) knew the story with my problems, or they tried to understand at least, ive been kinda ok since i came back, but ive been kinda feeling like im going down-hill again, and i ,, i dont know, ive got no real friends (since i went away i fell out of touch with my mates at home, now most of them are gone off somewhere else), and i feel like the people i do know are kinda scared of me, or dont really like me, maybe theyre just mirroring my feelings, if theyre happy and smiling twords me, so am i twords them, but if theyre not, im not, so theyre not, if that makes sense, and im not the kind of person whos happy normally, unless i get about 6 pints or more into me (or a couple of pills, but we wont get into that, havnt done them in over a year and a half, thinking maybe i should take them up again) would it be easier if i just came out and said 'Hey everybody, my name is john, and im on anti-depressants, if you dont talk to me, i wont talk to you, but if you wanna, you can say hi', or something like that,
thats pretty much it, for now, btw, i am seeing a psychiatrist, who is meant to be getting me an appointment with a psychologist sometime, sometime, yeah

Victor

I'm not sure how one tells people. I suppose in a quiet moment one mentions "ye know the way I'm a bit off at times" and then explain that you are on medication, that you are getting help and that you'll come right. Support welcome.

Don't mix anti-depressants with alcohol or any other drugs. It upsets them and you.

lostexpectation

well tell close friends if you feel you need to, you have to remember that people don't think about you as much as you think about yourself, so they might not be as aware of the issue as you are, although its increasingly common.

chump

lostexpectation wrote:

you have to remember that people don't think about you as much as you think about yourself

Good point.

My question is WHY do you need to point it out?
Big deal, you're popping a few pills...
I don't think you should be constantly reminding yourself that you are.

Try not be so consumed by what you're consuming

luckat

Puh, nobody's business but your own. Treat it like asthma inhalers, if someone asks say "Yeah, I take this for xx", otherwise, it's everyone mind their own business.

You don't (undoubtedly) want advice, but I'm going to kindly gift you with some anyway! Stay off the pints - they're a worse downer. Get out and walk, move those endorphins. Allow negative thoughts a regulated stay in your mind - give them, say, 30 seconds, then think of something else.

It's tough that your old friends have moved on. I doubt people are scared of you; as you say, people mirror each other.

xzanti

IMO the only reason you should feel you need to point it out is if you are planning on moving in with your friends or going traveling with them.. If not then it is none of their business... BUT.. If you will be with them full time then IMO they have a right to know.. As if you were an epileptic, they need to watch out for you if you had a fit.. they need to know that if your mood suddenly changes you may have forgotten to take your meds etc and will need to help you??

Having said that I am assuming you are Manic Depressive??

koneko

It doesn't sound like they're close friends, I don't see any need to tell them, it's not really their business. For people that are close to you, have a sit down with them and tell them.

CathyMoran

I'm a type 1 insulin dependant diabetic so I tell my friends after a while and one-two people who are in close working proximity that I am one, I also tell them how to deal with low blood sugars if I have one...I do not think that you need to tell someone that you take anti-depressants, they are your own business.

Esel

im-invisible wrote:

...im not the kind of person whos happy normally, unless i get about 6 pints or more into me (or a couple of pills, but we wont get into that, havnt done them in over a year and a half, thinking maybe i should take them up again) ...

Presume you are talking Ecstasy here? IMO, taking them again would be one of the worst things you could do. They radically deplete your serotonin levels, and that's not what you need at all.

Victor

I don't think its as great a problem as people make out. If you would normally tell that person about a medical problem, its perfectly OK to tell them about anti-depressants.

simu

Not a big deal telling people imo.

SpAcEd OuT

im-invisible wrote:

ive been on anti-depressants on and off for 3 years, constantly for the last year

.......

(or a couple of pills, but we wont get into that, havnt done them in over a year and a half, thinking maybe i should take them up again)

If they're MAOI anti depressants then you should NEVER EVER take ecstasy, it can result in death!

If not, you should still be very careful since MDMA effects the chemicals that determines your moods

Siobhan*

Hey im-invisible, I'm new here, have just seen your msg & can totally relate.

I've been taking lexapro for about 8 months now and went through that whole should I or shouldn't I tell people thing. I suppose the main reason was because I didn't want to be categorised as depressed - I don't see it that way even now - hey we all go through sh1t at some stage.

Just told my family at first & they were cool with it even if they initially found it hard to understand. After a while I started telling close friends and am really glad I did because it turns out that one of them was taking antidepressants too but feeling too ashamed to talk about it. It's been great having each other to relate to and encourage each other through the good, bad and ugly stuff.

I suppose the only advice I'd give here is to be selective when deciding who to talk to about something so personal - just trust your instinct.

Some of the advice posted in this thread may seem abvious but makes a lot of sense - try and stay away from the pills & pints. Be good to yourself - you deserve it and it does help!

Nightwish

I was on anti-depressants for just over a year too. I only told those of whom it was necessary (my boyfriend, flatmate and one or two very close others). Anyone else didnt need to know IMO. When asked why was I not drinking while out with people from work or why I wasnt going to the pub, I just said I was on medication or on antibiotics.

arbeitsscheuer

simu wrote:

Not a big deal telling people imo.

Yeah it's really not an issue with friends or even acquaintances tbh.
Most people have had difficulties of some sort anyway, taking anti-depressants really ain't that uncommon. Besides which, I never told ppl I was on them unless it came up naturally in conversation (ie a conversation about pills or what-have-you, generally).

Tar.Aldarion

I wouldn't imagineit's abig deal to tell them. I wouldn't think twice about it if I was told a friend was on them.
I have considered them a lot in the last two years and if I do use them, I would have no problem telling people if I wanted to. Although knowing me, I would tell nobody.
I'm sure your friends will understand completely, we all go through rough patches...

LegacyUser

Siobhan* wrote:

- try and stay away from the pills & pints. Be good to yourself - you deserve it and it does help!

the whole thing about takin E again is, im not very talkative or out-going, unless ive a good few pints inside me, and ive done a couple of things in the last year that,, well lets just say i got way too drunk, and did stupid things, i could easily give up the drink for ever, but that would mean id hardly ever go out, and if i did, id probably only stay for less than an hour, before i couldnt stand it any more and leave. i could easily sit in the house for weeks, and only go out once a month to see the psychiatrist, but thats no help,
i cant talk to people, i cant communicate, unless ive got something inside me, and it takes more drink than it should, so sometimes i go overboard, so maybe if i dont drink at all, and take the odd pill,

cos its just pissing me off, at the moment, not being comfortable around people for the first few hours when i go out, (needless to say, theres a girl that i kinda like, but i can never talk to..) so maybe if it was out there, that i was on anti-d's, at least people would understand why im so messed up,

bah, i dont know, your thoughts greatly appreciated, its just kinda good to write this sh1t.

SpAcEd OuT

did you just completely disregard my post? if you mix ecstasy with a MAOI anti depressent the reaction can kill you, google it.

DO NOT TAKE PILLS IF YOU ARE ON A MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANT

tallaghtdave

not sounding too harsh here but for gods sake man .
if ur doing that type of mixing.what do you expect to get?
im on anti d pills at the moment and i wouldnt touch a drink never mind e.

Siobhan*

im-invisible wrote:

...i cant talk to people, i cant communicate, unless ive got something inside me, and it takes more drink than it should, so sometimes i go overboard, so maybe if i dont drink at all, and take the odd pill...

I really don't want to lecture but it does seem like there's a bit of a vicious circle going on here. The harder you find it to comunicate the more self destructive you seem to become. Trust me, (I learned this one the hard way too), substances & alcohol aren't the answer, if anything they're aggravating the situation.

I suppose this is where it gets into the deeper stuff. It's not like you're not actually able to communicate (you're doing pretty well here and a few people have even opened up to you about their own sh1t), it's probably more of a self belief issue. Don't want to sound like a self help book (God, I hate them!) but for me I needed to start looking inward at my own sh1t before I was ready to start sharing myself with the world again. Suppose one of the biggest lessons I learned was that I am responsible for the way people perceive me - if I'm giving the message to the world that I'm worthless and unworthy of respect then that's exactly what I'll get back. But once I started to value myself a bit more I really reaped the rewards and life does get better. Some of my friends have been really supportive and I've been amazed at how many people can identify with depression - it's very reassuring to know that you're not the only one who feels like this.

If we go back to the original issue at hand - should you tell your friends - maybe if you felt better understood by the people around you it would help with the communication thing - I know I couldn't have got this far without the reassurance that I am actually normal and the support of people who understand.

As for the whole socialising thing, of course you can't stay in the house from one end of the month to the other but until you're in a place where you can be more disciplined about alcohol and substances then maybe pubs and clubs aren't the way to go.

Anyway, I could go on forever here...

Just try and be mindful of your serotonin levels and remember that you're in a place where you need nurturing. The simplest things can help boost serotonin in the brain....excercise, doing feel good stuff, whatever that may be for you, even certain foods...google it and you'll come accross loads more.

So on that note, I hope some of this hits home, have a good Easter.

panda100

im-invisible wrote:

i cant talk to people, i cant communicate,
.

I cant,I cant....you need to change that into I can ,I can
I think you really need to see a cognitive behavioural therapist so get on to your psychiatrist about booking that psychologist pronto! You shouldnt be ashamed at all that your depressed,its a clinical condition and with time you'll get a lot better.However,it seems at the mo you are only getting pharmamlogical help through anti depressants and seeing a psychiatrist. To cure depression you really need psychological help cos it really seems that your confidence needs a bit of a boost.
Maybe going out into a club/pub atmosphere where alcohol is served isnt the right environment for you to socialise in at the moment.Maybe you should start by building your confidence and talking to strangers by joining a book club,enrol in an evening class, just do something that intrests you and gets you interacting with strangers in an environment that suits you.This will start you off slowly with interacting with other people and get you a bit more sociale before you hit the pubs/nightclubs again

meowCat

One of my flat mates is on anti-depressants. I knew she wasn't happy for a while and when she finally told me, I was glad she takes action. She told me that she had been on them before and she goes to talk to a psychologist once a week -- now, I can see that she is a much happier person.

It's nothing to be ashamed of. She did tell me though that some of our friends just totally couldn't understand it and made her feel bad about it. Which I find very sad. No real friends then!!!

I don't think there's a need for telling people, but if you feel comfortable telling someone, go for it.

As for the pub scene: alcohol is a depressant itself, so you are better off without it. I know many people who go to pubs and clubs and are actually anti-alcoholics. They don't drink and still manage to enjoy themselves. They go for being out with people socialising.
But I know that it can be awkward going out with friends and suddenly not drinking. My brother was on medication for a while and he didn't want to explain to people why he doesn't drink. But in the end, he did go out because he missed socialising and people were totally fine with it.

im-invisible wrote:

i cant talk to people, i cant communicate, unless ive got something inside me, and it takes more drink than it should, so sometimes i go overboard, so maybe if i dont drink at all, and take the odd pill,

I know you feel you cannot communicate. Actually, I think many people have inhibitions there. And it's nothing that you are born with and never could change. Everyone can improve. Little by little. Don't give up on yourself!
There are a few good books out there teaching conversational skills. I know there's a lot of crap out there, but personally, I can recommend the author Leil Lowndes. Very practical advice!

You also mentioned that you feel your circle of friends is decreasing or you don't feel too happy with them. You can get new friends you know. The easiest way is to pic up a new hobby. Isn't there something you've always wanted to try out? It's the easiest way to meet like-minded people.
And then, there's always the internet. I know, there's a stigma attached to meeting people on the internet, but I know many people who met new friends that way and they are all perfectly decent people. Try gumtree.

Victor

There was a piece in one of the British newspapers today that 3.5m British people are on anti-depressants. If the percentages are the same here, you already know people on anti-depressants.