Question about what to do with oral/handjobs from a girl

Funkstard

I was with my gf last weekend and the both of us got busy downstairs, no need to paint a picture, but i began to think what I would do if it came to the stage of me ejaculating. I mean, we were lying down on a couch with all our clothes on, so if I came it would have been quite a mess.

What do I do in this situation? My friend says he just has a box of tissues at the ready, and, listen to this because it can't be normal, when he's getting head he just comes on his chest and washes it off.

Bit of a nasty topic I know but something I need to find out about.

Cheers.

muffler

You need to see either a sex therapist, a psycho therapist or pay the 15 cents and buy a plastic bag

Tar.Aldarion

Wear a condom.





(What your friend does made me laugh out loud.)

Guys do tend to come on their chests a lot, so far as I've seen...

LegacyUser

Well if I'm getting a handjob and I'm fully clothed, I just ejaculate into my underwear... Not really a big deal! It's uncomfortable for a while but it'll soak in and then just wash them as you normally would. Or go up to the bathroom and clean it off with tissue before it gets to soak in.

Tar.Aldarion

bluewolf wrote:

Guys do tend to come on their chests a lot, so far as I've seen...

I can't understand doing that to yourself. It's not like I have put a great deal of thought into it though, meh.

mloc

just get a tissue. itll sort most of the mess. just make sure you let her know first...

Dave!

lol, imagine knocking on her door, she opens it, and you're there holding a box of tissues, with a big smile on your face

Stench Blossoms

notlogged wrote:

Well if I'm getting a handjob and I'm fully clothed, I just ejaculate into my underwear... Not really a big deal! It's uncomfortable for a while but it'll soak in and then just wash them as you normally would. Or go up to the bathroom and clean it off with tissue before it gets to soak in.

Sorry but i think that is horrible, would you not feel really dirty?

Just have a pack of tissues ready.

Goodshape

Can't say I've ever stopped to think about it in such a situation.... when you've got to go, you've got to go. Worry about the mess later, it's usually not that big a deal.

I would have thought that bringing a box of tissues with you when you're going to "watch a movie" would be a bit presumptuous.

muffler

Goodshape wrote:

I would have thought that bringing a box of tissues with you when you're going to "watch a movie" would be a bit presumptuous.

Brings a whole new meaning to a "tear jerker"

Matthewthebig

the review for Schindler's List told me i'd need a whole box of tissues

Agent Smith

matthewthebig.....


thats just wrong on so so many levels...

Tar.Aldarion

But oh so damn funny
I can't remember where I have heard it though, maybe simpsons...

Lex_Diamonds

If ever a thread needed a five star rating its now. In bits laughing over here. Good show all.


*runs from mods*

Doodee

could always find out if she spits or swallows

Stench Blossoms

Doodee wrote:

could always find out if she spits or swallows

Haha, was waiting for someone to say that.

Doodee

the suspense can be a killer

Dirk Gently

Just cum in your boxers, let it settle in a nice little fold in your boxers. After a while your leg will be a bit sticky but this has its uses. Harvest the dried in sperm from your pubic hair and roll like the way you would roll snot from your nose. Get a nice little ball of sperm rolled with your fingers and store safely in your ear wax or something. Next time you’re on a bus and some old git starts moaning at you about the youth of today, reach into your ear and sperm ball the purple rinsed bitch. Careful when having a piss after you cum in your boxes. Tends to go all over the place for the first few seconds when sticky down there.
Hope my advice can be of some help to you on your journey into adulthood.
(Please don’t ban me, its 4am and i'm bored)

Asiaprod

Ah, the OP never read the little warning label (you might need to shave first to locate it)
It says: Maintain a firm grip on the base and point away from the face when lighting the fuse. Contents under high-pressure, could cause serious harm if ingested in large quantity. In smaller letters it also says, Made in China.

Beruthiel

bunch of muppets.
you're all lucky it's friday cos I'm in a good mood and I have a great weekend ahead of me.

Funkstard
you get away with it this time, next time it's a banning