Sex and alcohol

LegacyUser

This problably has been already done and yes (because this is boards.ie) I do expect to get unhelpful trolls.

My question is this (to all, but primarily to the womenfolk out there):

Do you ever feel you have to consume alchohol to get in the mood for sex? Do you never just want to jump the bones of your other half just because you want to?

I was thinking about my past relationships and to be honest, alchohol (either a complete skinful or just one/two) seemed to be the fuel to arouse the other halves libido - is it a case that some women need to do that (providing the bloke doesnt look like a dogs arse) or is it more of a common thing

Gordon

What's the personal issue here?

LegacyUser

well the personal issue would be, is I am currently going through this yet again, and I am wondering is it normal

CoolGuy2006

i would call it a personal issue.

Beruthiel

brianbolland wrote:

well the personal issue would be, is I am currently going through this yet again, and I am wondering is it normal

who know's what's normal? drink can make you randy.
if you are saying your g/f will only have sex with you when she's drunk, then you need to talk to her.
If she's into you then she should want to have sex sober too.

trishw78

no I don't need alcohol to get in the mood unless say he did look like the dogs arse and then I'd be consuming alot of alcohol to forget. In fact I think I'd just say no to him.

Wurly

well it could be that some women find it easier to let go with a few drinks on them. Its a known fact that nearly all women are in some way unhappy with thier bodies. So by having a few drinks first, it helps with the oul confidence boost.

I dont think its a libido issue at all to be honest. And I dont think its anything to do with you, just in case you were taking it personal.

trishw78

no I don't need alcohol to get in the mood unless say he did look like the dogs arse and then I'd be consuming alot of alcohol to forget. In fact I think I'd just say no to him.

Sorry but I can only speak personally. Did you ever think that maybe it's just Dutch courage on her side maybe she'e really nervous

metrovelvet

Well, what are you doing to relax her? To make her feel comfortable so she can trust you enough to let go?

You dont need alcohol to get horny but it does relax your judgement so, maybe thats what she needs, relaxing.

LegacyUser

aye, the problem is that despite the sex being few and far between (she blames her decreasing sex drive), anytime that she (seemingly) wants to have sex, she has had atleast one drink inside her

LegacyUser

No I dont agree, from a female point of view, if you have had a few drinks then it helps to make you feel less inhibited but as for not being in the mood without alcohol, no thats not true.

Think you have just been unlucky.

There are plenty of us red blooded females out there who do enjoy a rampant sex life.

LegacyUser

metrovelvet - we have been going out for the past 2-3 years so getting her relaxed is not an issue, nor is it do with technique, longevity, etc

This is really boiling down to a diminishing sex drive and using alchohol to combat it on her part

galah

Sex and booze is a very repulsive combination, IMHO. Why bother to have sex when you're drunk? It's not enjoyable, and if someone needs alcolhol to get turned on, there's definitely something wrong! I refuse to have sex with someone if they're drunk, because I think that it's disrespectful towards me, and I would not want to be drunk when I have sex, either - waste of time...

Maybe these women (or men) have confidence issues (I don't...), but getting drunk to have sex is just about the dumbest thing you can do if you expect to enjoy yourself and have fun with your partner.

Beruthiel

brianbolland wrote:

This is really boiling down to a diminishing sex drive

diminishing or boredom?
time to start making things interesting

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

diminishing or boredom?
time to start making things interesting

And therein lies the problem - she is into nothing. We have talked for a long time about it before, but she is just not into it - and I always swore I wouldnt pressure her into something she didnt want to do

Wolf

To my understanding ie what a chemisrty prof told me is that booze actaully chemicaly makes women aroused. That the more drink a woman has the more truned on she will be.

Now Im sure sure loads of you will poo poo this, but, that is what I was told by a very intelligent teacher and she explained it as in, its a simple chemical reaction. Then again Im not a chemist, a docter or a girl for that matter, so I can't back it up personally, but, there you go.

As for the OP would it not be reasonable to say that perhaps the fact that you are always drunk when having the sex that you have become kind of dependent on been drunk to do so? Sort of an association thing?

LegacyUser

Wolf wrote:

As for the OP would it not be reasonable to say that perhaps the fact that you are always drunk when having the sex that you have become kind of dependent on been drunk to do so? Sort of an association thing?

Nope, I never need to be drunk when having/to be having sex - so there is no association for me of sex with alcohol

galah

from personal experience being a girl, the more booze I have, the more sleepy I will be. That's the only reaction I have experienced so far, I am certainly not getting more aroused...

daRobot

Fair enough if she's had a few drinks in the evening time and is feeling horny, but what i'd be interested to know is if you guys have morning sex- stone cold sober?

BoozyBabe

How long are you in this relationship?

For me, I definitely am more horny while under the influence, lose your inhibitions & all that, but in saying that, I'm in a relatively new relationship & I'd like to jump his bones at every given opportunity, with or without alcohol.

The last relationship (5years) had lost it's spark & it did generally take alcohol for me to initiate it. (I know that's not a good thing, but hey, that's why he's an ex I suppose, thing's weren't right)

LegacyUser

BoozyBabe wrote:

How long are you in this relationship?

As I said 3 years.

BoozyBabe wrote:

The last relationship (5years) had lost it's spark & it did generally take alcohol for me to initiate it. (I know that's not a good thing, but hey, that's why he's an ex I suppose, thing's weren't right)

Aye, and thats where this current relationship might be heading (this is not a recent issue, its been going on for a while)

misswex

I know that after a few drinks I am more horny but I personally don't need alcohol to initiate or have sex with my boyfriend but a friend of mine does:

She says she just feels more comfortable and confident and couldn't even contemplate having sex without having a few drinks!!

But then you say you are with her a while now and its only becoming an issue with her recently so I think there is more going on than just lack of libido and needing alcohol. Seems like you need to sit down and discuss this more in dept!

miamee

galah wrote:

from personal experience being a girl, the more booze I have, the more sleepy I will be. That's the only reaction I have experienced so far, I am certainly not getting more aroused...

Phew, I was getting worried there..I am exactly like this! Waste of time trying anything when I am drunk cos I'll be asleep in no time!
Alcohol most definitely doesn't turn me on.

trishw78

me too all I want to do is sleep when I've had a few... I do feel hornier in the morning though just before the hangover kicks in

Wolf

brianbolland wrote:

Nope, I never need to be drunk when having/to be having sex - so there is no association for me of sex with alcohol

Very, very sorry. I miss read the post, thought that it was you that was needing the booze for the sex. Again, sorry about that

I would certainly say that I have found many girls to be more receptive to this kind of carry on when drunk, but, then again I suppose their good judgement must be impaired and that why they are having sex with me in the first place

But seriously while I would say that after been out on the lash me and my ex's would pretty much always have sex, unless we are totally hammered, we would still have it without booze when sharing a bed most nights. Which reminds me of when me and my girl friend shared a house last summer, was great, but, tiring

Also, I do find the morning after drinking I get quite horny as well, don't know why though?

melekalikimaka

works the opposite for me...

simu

Personally, I'm not a fan of drunken sex - you feel less and are clumsier. Performance and enjoyment are diminished after even one drink or two imo.

As for the whole inhibitions thing, it shouldn't be an issue in a long-term relationship.

tallaghtdave

was just reading a stat on percent of women pregnant over drunken sex.
20 odd percent
as i hear the auld saying if you cant remember it must of been a good night lol.
ahh no seriously ,i try not to do anything when im gargled.too easy to slip up and id not be as erect as i would normaly. i see some of you guys et all horny when drunk , id be the other way round.

Bluebells

Drink does make you more relaxed and forget things you would usually worry about(eg. nerves, body issues) so your all confident and feel like you could seduce anyone.

It does numb you a bit though, and for me anyway, the sex isnt as great. So, in my opinion, it makes us more willing to put out but the act itself isnt all that...