friends future husband doesnt believe in god

pepper

And he wants to marry her in a church- but she feels that it would not be a real marraige as her partner would be asking for a blessing from someone he doesnt believe in

any thoughts?

Asiaprod

pepper wrote:

And he wants to marry her in a church- but she feels that it would not be a real marraige as her partner would be asking for a blessing from someone he doesnt believe in

any thoughts?

Read the following thread and see what that does first.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054912433

Gray

It realy depends where your friend wants to get married, its a "real" & leagle marrage weather in church or a registry office. Your friends feller probably thinks a church wedding is what she wants & most preists (I'm assuming your friends Catholic) will be happy to do the honnors as long as he is baptised & agrees to bring the kids up as Catholic

Cantab.

pepper wrote:

And he wants to marry her in a church- but she feels that it would not be a real marraige as her partner would be asking for a blessing from someone he doesnt believe in

any thoughts?

Basically, a Catholic marriage (I'm assuming we're talking Catholic here) involves two baptised people, one or both of whom are Catholic. Their union isn't just an occasion for a good party: Catholic marriage is a vocation, a calling from God.

Three types of Catholic wedding ceremonies are available: a wedding (nuptial) Mass, a wedding without a Mass and a convalidation ceremony in which a couple who was previously married invalidly in the eyes of the Church now seeks to have that marriage recognised by the Church or, as the canon lawyers call it, convalidated.

Now we'll concern ourselves with the first two here:

To get the full treatment, a Nuptial Mass is called for. In this, the bride and groom are both Catholics (not of the a la carte variety either - although some PPs are way too lenient these days). The reason that both must be Catholic is because two sacraments are received at this ceremony: the Sacrament of Matrimony and the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.

Catholic wedding ceremonies without a Mass are often celebrated too (particularly when the bride/groom isn't of the Catholic faith). Without a Mass, Communion doesn't take place - an all too common occurance these days. The ceremony part is pretty much the same as the Nuptial Mass and passages from the Old and New Testaments are read along with a Psalm from the Gospel. The priest (or deacon) preaches a sermon and then the vows are pronounced followed by the exchange of rings. Prayers are offered followed by the Our Father, sign of peace, etc.

pepper

he isint a catholic- he was brought up as 1 by his parents but he says hes an athiest

all my friends worried about is that if he married her in a church when he doesnt believe in ANY religion is it a sin

dalk

Cantab. wrote:

Catholic wedding ceremonies without a Mass are often celebrated too (particularly when the bride/groom isn't of the Catholic faith). Without a Mass, Communion doesn't take place - an all too common occurance these days.

My Mum, (who is in her late 60's) told me, that when she was a girl, all the weddings she went to were like this (including her own). She claimed that the addition of mass is a more recent phenomenon and was less common in her day.

hairyheretic

If he is an atheist, then I would presume that he is offering to have the church wedding in respect for her beliefs, or perhaps through some sense of it being "expected of him" by assorted relatives.

Akrasia

I don't see why the christian can't make her christian vows in a christian church with an atheist who makes solemn personal vows to the other person. He isn't the one denying the christian the right to make her religous declaration. The atheist can go through the ceremony out of respect for her and her family and still be making a real committment to his new wife. His promises might not be in the eyes of the god he does not believe in, but they are still promises to his wife who he loves enough to marry.

If they are prevented from marrying in a church by the opinions of their friends, it is not the atheist who is being harmed, it is his New Wife, and those kinds of divisive attitudes aren't very christian.

Zombrex

pepper wrote:

all my friends worried about is that if he married her in a church when he doesnt believe in ANY religion is it a sin

For him or for her? Cause I don't think he would be bothered about sinning considering he is an atheist. If she is worried if marrying a non-Catholic in a Catholic church is a sin she should talk to her priest.

Not up on the whole mass-wedding thing, but does he have to say the same things as her? If it makes her uncomfortable can he just not say the bits the reference God since he doesn't believe in them?

robindch

> If he is an atheist, then I would presume that he is offering to have the
> church wedding in respect for her beliefs, or perhaps through some senss
> of it being "expected of him" by assorted relatives.

I would think it would be worth trying to find out why he wants to go through with something that he believes, from the start, to be a charade. I can understand the family-political reasons (and a few others) for doing it, but it still sounds a bit funny as stated.

But as for her implying that it's not going to be a "real marriage" unless he believes catholic religious dogma, then I really do think the two good folks concerned should sit down and work out whether they're marrying each other, or each others religion's, before sending out the invitations -- I've seen these kind of disagreements produce *horrible* problems when kids arrive.

krudler

but isnt a wedding just an excuse for relatives to get drunk and start fights?who care if one person doesnt believe in god

panda100

krudler wrote:

but isnt a wedding just an excuse for relatives to get drunk and start fights?who care if one person doesnt believe in god

on that principle I decided a long time ago not to get married in Ireland (even though I am a practising catholic).After my sisters wedding there is way too much pressure in Irish weddings to conform to what your family,friends and relatives want.
Its totally up to the groom here.If he feels comfortable saying the vows in a church then thats grand.
Ene though I wouldnt be able to marry a complete atheist.How could you marry someone that didnt have a fundemental belief in something that you believed in ,ie God,allah etc.