Girl Trouble - confusing as hell

Okay, before I start.. I tend to have one hell of a problem overanalysing things, so this might get a bit confusing.

Right. Well. I'm having girl trouble (as you've probably guessed already).

To start, there's this girl .. lets call her Girl A.. who I work with. She's very cute, very smart, spanish, but the problem is that she's 26 (turning 27 this year). I'm 20 (turning 21 soon, thankfully). Myself and her get on very well, we're constantly touchey-feeley, we hug each other whenever we see each other, and she tends to smile alot too whenever she sees me. Yet there's a few different problems with the age
1) I am worried that people will say things about her. The fact that there is a 6 year gap between herself and me. I don't care what people say about me, but I really don't want them to say things about her.
2) She might be missing out on oppurtunities with guys her own age. Who could probably give her alot more than I can.
Also, I am worried that she doesn't, in fact, like me whatsoever, and she is just being a very flirty person. But not in a bad way.

Yet there's this other girl who I work with. Girl B. She is 24, italian, very cute, great personality. We got very close. But what I am worried about is that Girl B might like me, and that if I get with Girl A, that I might hurt Girl B. She is a very emotional girl, and can get upset easily. And I really don't want to be the cause of her getting upset. When I first started work, Girl B was one of the first people to be nice to me. So, as a result, I started to like her. And I still do kind of like Girl B.

Moving on.. there's Girl C. This girl has liked me for ages.. like 2years now. Every-so-often we meet up and kisses. Nothing more, bar the normal rubbing and feeling. Yet I don't like Girl C. Mainly because she scared me. And was my stalker about 2 years ago. So, basically when we first met. I keep telling her that there is no chance of us getting together. I know that makes me sound like a wanker, but if I tell her this now, there's less of a chance of Girl C getting hurt. If that makes sense.

Added to this is the fact that years ago I vowed never to cheat or two-time anybody because I did once, and this person was extremely hurt. And i never got the oppurtunity to apologise for this. It still haunts me to this day, even though it happened maybe 5-6 years ago.

This has been bothering me alot recently, as I was in a very bad relationship about 3 years ago that ended terribly, leaving me extremely depressed and slightly suicidal. I'm a bit better now, though I am still a bit afraid of a relationship. Which is why I want to make sure I make the right choice with this. Hence the predicament.

I guess that is it for now, sorry for the long post, but this is the stuff that has been going through my head for weeks/months. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I know it is my choice alone, but I would really like advice on this matter.

As usual, if this is in the wrong place feel free to close/move this thread.

Thanks

mloc

First I'd like to point out that everyone handles situations differently, and this is, most likely, how i'd handle the situation you mentioned.

You have 3 girls here to deal with. I think it's fair enough to say you can discount Girl C, as far as relationships are concerned. If you don't like her you'd be selling both her and yourself short. So you're already down to two on the relationship front.

I think also you have to willing to take risks here and realise that while there are 2 women involved, thats 2 out of much greater number of women out there you have yet to meet. If it all goes balls up so what, you'll still be alive and so will they.

Deleted User wrote:

I am worried that people will say things about her...

She might be missing out on oppurtunities with guys her own age. Who could probably give her alot more than I can.

Well it's clear you care about this girl. You have to remember, however, that its her decision as much as yours as to whether to enter a relationship or not, and the consequences are just as shared. People are going to joke about it, but you must realise that if she likes you she wont let silly comments affect her feelings. And neither should you. And its not like they'll stone her to death for doing it either.

As far as older guys giving her more, that's her decision as well. I think you're not being fair to yourself here. If she likes you, then go for it. You're only 20 and you have to be willing to take risks. The more you take them, the more confident you will get, as you clearly have suffered confidence issues from your previous relationship, which is perfectly understandable.

Yet there's this other girl who I work with...

She is a very emotional girl, and can get upset easily...

When I first started work, Girl B was one of the first people to be nice to me. So, as a result, I started to like her. And I still do kind of like Girl B.

You have to understand that actions you take will have an impact on others. But that's ok. If you don't take a risk you won't get anywhere. Ever. If this girl is very easily upset, and you are clearly quite a sensitive person, I would personally recommend you avoided a relationship with her. You are only 20, remember, and starting a relationship where you know you'll have to be careful of things you say or do is just not a good idea.

Personally, I'd say go with girl A. The very fact you put her down as girl A says to me you like her the most. Do yourself a favour and take a risk with it.

The_B_Man

you see, at the moment, u have a possibility with Girls A, B and C. if u choose one, u will only have that one girl. thats really what ur anxious about. accept it, ur male. no biggy!

face-the-phase

You seem like quite a thoughtful and sincere person so i think you should be honest with yourself and you'll find the answer to who you want.In my opinion its definitly girl A and if things don't work out or she's not interested, like the other person said it feels good to take the jump and do it! It will build your confidence. Good luck. x

Kuz_3040

Can i just say i was in a similar situation last year and i made the biggest mistake of my life because i thought that the girl wanted to be just friends and we now arent even friends so take the jump with girl A if it goes pear shaped then theres always girl B. It aint like yor gonna spend the rest of your life wit either of em so dont lose the opportunity grab it with both hands or if u prefer use one hand to grab A n the other to Grab B.

Kuz_3040

Kuz_3040 wrote:

Can i just say i was in a similar situation last year and i made the biggest mistake of my life because i thought that the girl wanted to be just friends and we now arent even friends so take the jump with girl A if it goes pear shaped then theres always girl B. It aint like yor gonna spend the rest of your life wit either of em so dont lose the opportunity grab it with both hands or if u prefer use one hand to grab A n the other to Grab B.

That sounds alot like that whole.. I had 2 goldfish, named them 1 and 2, 1 died and i still have 2 .. or whatever.

Anyways, thanks for the advise. I have asked Girl A if she would like to go out for a drink sometime, and she has said yes. So I think I might just ask her and see how it goes

takola

Moving on.. there's Girl C. This girl has liked me for ages.. like 2years now. Every-so-often we meet up and kisses. Nothing more, bar the normal rubbing and feeling. Yet I don't like Girl C. Mainly because she scared me. And was my stalker about 2 years ago. So, basically when we first met. I keep telling her that there is no chance of us getting together. I know that makes me sound like a wanker, but if I tell her this now, there's less of a chance of Girl C getting hurt. If that makes sense.

Ok Question... If you dont like this girl why would you be meeting up with her and kissing???? why is it that men think this is ok? talk about mind games!!!! you say she's stalked you and scared you! COME ON! what do you expect if you tell her you dont like her but meet and snog her at the same time!

MEN!!!!! and worse 20 year old drama queens!!! ugh
ok rant over

Go with girl A. Shes obviously the one you like most. Girl B will live!! and Girl C will probably try to kill you but im sure you'll deal with it!!

Sorry if i sound like a bitch but you're post kind of pissed me off.. just a little!

Fanny Cradock

takola wrote:

Ok Question... If you dont like this girl why would you be meeting up with her and kissing???? why is it that men think this is ok? talk about mind games!!!! you say she's stalked you and scared you! COME ON! what do you expect if you tell her you dont like her but meet and snog her at the same time!

MEN!!!!! and worse 20 year old drama queens!!! ugh
ok rant over

ugh, please delete this or the thread will decend into another battle of the sexes.

anyway, girl A. clearly you hold her in the highest regard. go for it!

Wurly

Hope the drink goes great for you!! Well done! (O: You seem to have matured into a lovely, kind young man. A lot better than some of the f*ckwits that ive had the misfortune to meet in my time.

Sony

some funny posts there - yeah girl A all the way....

Im not saying "dont settle for second best" but for a start you shouldnt be with someone (girl if you like someone else more ie.girl A.......Ideally thats the frame of mind you should have when starting any relationship, women will appreciate it - otherwise youll just be another "b*st$rd!!


By the way - When I was only 19 I started going out with a girl 27...to be honest a few people said a thing or two to the girl when we were going out about the age difference but "she really liked me" so didnt care and it blew over pretty soon after- so I think the same should apply to you in this case, you sound mature enough so dont worry about that

best of luck

takola

takola wrote:

Sorry if i sound like a bitch but you're post kind of pissed me off.. just a little!

Nah,yer right. Which is why i've stopped. I don't think it's okay to do it to her. I try and not play mind-games with anyone, because I know how it feels. And it feels terrible. I've lived my life respecting women in every way I can.

As for the 20 year old drama queen comment. That wasn't nice. Not in the slightest. I posted here trying to get help to sort out my mind. And what I don't need is for someone to come along telling me I'm a "drama queen". Not at all.

py2006

Defo Girl A.

You can't not make a move for fear of hurting Girl B. Foreign girls are not as hung up on dating younger guys as the Irish gals are so she probably does really like you.

She already said she would go for a drinky poo with you so your sorted! See how it goes!

Best of luck and all that!

Phone.Book

A

lucernarian

Go with A. It seems that Girl C is bad news. You are worried about hurting girl B if you got with Girl A, so that sounds like you would definetely go with Girl A were it not for hurting another girl. Girl B has no reason to be angry with you for liking another problem. She will survive. Also you don't even know if girl B likes you.

You have little or nothing to lose for asking Girl A out IMO.

Oryx

Chance your arm with A. Try to stay mates with B. Stay clear of C, your wrecking her head.:) And if all else fails you can move on to D, E, F, G.....:D