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Decoding Women & More

  • 07-04-2006 12:02pm
    #1
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭


    Sorry if this has been posted before... it made me chuckle anyway:)

    FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish..............................................49.

    Adventurous..................................Slept with everyone.

    Athletic...........................................No breasts.

    Average looking...........................Moooo.

    Beautiful........................................Pathological liar.

    Emotionally Secure.....................On medication.

    Feminist.........................................Fat.

    Free spirit.....................................Junkie on crack.

    Friendship first............................Former slut.

    New-Age.......................................Body hair in the wrong places.

    Old-fashioned...............................No BJs.

    Open-minded...............................Desperate.

    Outgoing.......................................Loud and Embarrassing.

    Professional..................................Bitch.

    Voluptuous...................................Very Fat.

    Large frame..................................Hugely Fat.

    Wants Soul mate...........................Stalker




    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No

    2. No = Yes

    3. Maybe = No

    4. We need = I want

    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upse! t, you moron!

    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
    about?


    MEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry

    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

    3. I am tired = I am tired

    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

    5. I love you = Let's have sex

    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex now?

    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex.

    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex.

    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex.

    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex.

    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.


Comments

  • #2
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    tman wrote:
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.


    Hahahahahahahaha, brilliant!!!


  • #3
    Oriel
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Oriel


    I lived the personal ads one :)


  • #4
    pyramuid man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭pyramuid man


    Brilliant


  • #5
    jsr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 160 ✭✭jsr


    Funny cos its true.


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