Help - lost and afraid!

scobysnacks

I'm 28, have a degree and post grad (and got really good grades) but have had about six jobs over the last 5 years. Not one has worked out; in fact I've been sacked from 2. I actually work really hard and have been very dedicated to all of my jobs but have had the misfortune of nasty bosses in nearly all of them. I haven't had a boyfriend or a fling in almost two years, nor have I had sex in the last year. I had to move back in with my parents because I can't afford to pay rent. All my friends are moving up in their careers and have set up home with their partners while I struggle alone; completely lost. Never in a million years did I think I would be in this position at my age. I keep hoping that things will change and life will get better but no matter what actions I take to improve my situation (such as changing jobs, new hobbies etc) nothing happens. I'm so depressed that every day I consider jumping off the tallest building I can find. I just don’t know what to do!

BoozyBabe

Try not to be too hard on yourself, or think too deeply about things.

It'll all work out in it's own good time.

As for the job:- I was in a similar situation, & felt the same as you:-

1st proper job:- 6 months
2nd:- 4 months
(Travelled & back to college for a yesr)
3rd:- 16 months (even though I ws trying to get out of it from the 6 month time frame)

None of them were nice places to work in. Even though I liked what I did, I didn't like the management. I thought "it must be me", I'm never going to get anywhere etc......

I'm now in my 4th job for 1.5years (which isn't outrageously long I know) but I'm still as happy as I was on my 1st day.
Everyone, including management is lovely & down to earth & makes working here easy.

You'll find that job too, don't lose hope.

Chin up & best of luck!

loz

scobysnacks wrote:

I was looking for some advise for a part time about getting a part time job. I work for a software company as a client account/ implimentation manager . The experience is great but the pay is terrible. I don't want to change jobs as I intend to go traveling in the summer for a year or so but can barely afford to eat let alone save by the end of the month. Has anyone got any suggestions for decent paid part time work?

I think maybe you are just a little shockd at being an adult - now you have left the protection of being at school for the last 24 years or so !

maybe its time to grow up ?

Sleepy

I think you might need to re-examine your attitude/behaviour in the workplace. I can't see anyone being unlucky enough to get a run of six 'nasty' bosses and sacked by two of them through absolutely nothing of their own fault. Maybe you could ask former colleagues to give you some honest advice as to what it is you're doing wrong? If in fact you really have just been that incredibly unlucky, you're still in luck: the Irish jobs market is particularly buoyant at the moment so you shouldn't be long finding another company to work for. Be honest with yourself though, don't automatically put things down to bad luck. You could be doing something to antagonise your management in your professional life without even realising it.

As for the single thing, I can sympathise, I've been single for the last couple of years myself though it doesn't really bother me. I think you need to stop seeing yourself as being in competition with your friends and realise that them being lucky enough to meet someone to settle down with is something you should be happy about, not jealous of. Get out there and meet as many people as you can, it's the best way to find yourself a partner.

And finally: life's no bed of roses for anyone. It's hard, it's always been hard and it always will be hard. The trick is to eek every bit of joy from the good bits and just plough through the bad bits.

Blub2k4

Like the previous poster says I'd reconsider whether you really had 6 nasty bosses or whether you, being the only common denominator, are really the problem when it comes to work.

scobysnacks

I haven't had 6 nasty bosses I've had two (one that was famous in the industry for making people cry).Some of the other jobs had no room for promotion or else I got something better or more money and left. My current one is the worst. My boss is the pits, a complete control freak. I don't want to leave (though I have been looking for new jobs) because the experience is excellent and I need to have a decent spell in one job for my CV. I am finding it really tough to be motivated to go into work as they are so mean to me. It's the combo, of no cash, unhappiness in work and a none existant love life thats getting me really,really down. If one thing was working things would be so much better. It's been a bad for so long now, that I wonder when it will ever get better:(

manonthemoon

Maybe weigh up whether the experience you are getting is worth being miserable. Just a suggestion, but I have been in that position before, working somewhere when I hated it just to stay a year or six months so its loks good on your CV. It wasnt worth it.


IN MY OPINION, No job is worth being miserable!!!

REDZ

In my experience you need to get three things right to feel content
1. job you are passionate about
2. home where you feel comfortable
3. people who you like in your life and who like you(boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, whatever)

1. This is a really good time to get another job as there are more way more jobs than job seekers.
2. live at home for a bit, its good to get to know your folks when you are old enough to appreciate them(ie. not a teenager). it will help you understand who you are. save a bit of money and then find some friends and move in somewhere nice with them in a few months.
3. Go make more friends, take up a course, start a sport or hobby and try that myspace site for dates, but don't put dating in your profile(too many weirdos), get your self content in your job and your home and more friends and boyfriends will sort itself out. I think people are more attractive to others when they are content in thier lives, people can sense it.
its not going to be easy but just deal with one problem at a time.
if you are feeling really bad, just go and travel somewhere for a few months, it will help give a fresh perspective on your problems.
Look i know what your feeling, my life kinda fell apart a few years ago and i'm still getting it sorted, but i'm getting there.
Good luck
Redz

Wolf

I know this is a bit of an odd one to ask but, can you describe yourself a bit?

I mean do you feel phycialy unattactive? Do you make friends easily? Are you out going or quite shy and retiring?

The reason I ask is that on one hand you may feel that your ability to meet new friends of potential mates is hindered by your apperance or your personality? Maybe, your personality or apperance really is hindering your ability to do these things? We don't know?

As for throwing yourself off a bridge....

1/ Don't be so selfish, how would that make the people around you feel?

2/ If you think your life isn't worth living go to Iraq or something and help people in a place where you'll proably come to some grizzly end. Work with terminaly ill, infecous patients or something my point been if your going to give up your life do it doing something worth while.

3/ There are people out there that would kill to be a white cocasion in a first world country. You already have more going for you than about 80% of poeple in the world, but, you have to shape the life around you. Not wait for eveything to fall into place.

MrJones

good point.

loz wrote:

I think maybe you are just a little shockd at being an adult - now you have left the protection of being at school for the last 24 years or so !

maybe its time to grow up ?

secret_squirrel

Has it occured to you that you may not be suited for the industry you are in?

Do you enjoy your job or are you just doing it because you think you have to justify all that college education in a related job??

O-Ninio

What qualifications did your superiors have sometimes they are afraid of younger staff with academic qualifications because they feel threatened by them, just a thought?

ando

REDZ wrote:

In my experience you need to get three things right to feel content
1. job you are passionate about
2. home where you feel comfortable
3. people who you like in your life and who like you(boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, whatever)

Bingo, only thing I'd add is family but that could be included in no2. Balance is everything