Predicament

epsnich

Hi. I'm just looking for advice or opinions.

So I'm going out with this guy. I really like him and he's really special and he loves me. We met each other in Europe, and I left him to go to another country. He soon dropped everything and followed me to make a new life for himself. He now is living here, and doesn't know anyone other than me and people in his new job > he has managed to find the best job he ever had, and a job he would never have gotten in the previous place. He is more content and relaxed and happy then I have ever seen him, and I don't think his life has ever been better.

Recently, I met a guy, and instantly fell for him. I was so shocked I even fancied him because I never even look at someone when I have a bf. The feeling was mutual and we kissed. I told my bf. He forgave me immediately and told me he loves me. At the moment, all I can think about is the other guy, but I know if he was gone, I would be content with my bf. I don't think we're gonna get married, and he knows that (we live together), but I know that if I leave him now, he'd be fvcked - not only because his gf has left him, but bcoz he has no money (just got this job), friends, family, anything. I really really care about him and don't want to fvck him over.

My latest decision is to try my best to have minimal contact with the other guy, and work on making things good with my current bf. We will end up breaking up, but hopefully when we do, he will be in a better situation. Is this crazy? What do you guys think? I've never done the dirt before yet I am doing it with my heart constantly. The other guy has really fallen for me and I try to tell him not to be interested but I don't seem to be able to do it properly and I just hate so much that I have to hurt someone real bad.

<<Sigh>> Nothing against the other guy, but I wish I never met him.

Jesper

You can lie to everyone or anyting but not to yourself! You like the other guy more. You've made the decisions to yourself. What you don't realise is that the fairest thing is to tell the guy you live with. Ideally tell him and stay living there. It will be akward but when he gets settled he can move out. You might have to push him if it gets akward but it this happens he would deserve it because he is just being akward and doesn't care anymore about all you've done for him.

Beruthiel

No use living a lie.
You know your relationship is over and you want this other guy.
I would personally finish it.
Your current b/f will not find it easy but he sounds like the kind of bloke who will manage anyway. Better to let him get on with his life and not waste each others time.

pyramuid man

Sounds like you have to make a big choice. Well maybe not.
Follow your heart. It will always lead you right,

REDZ

Part of issue might be how dependant this guy is on you. Give it a bit of time, let him get settled and see how you feel in a few months(time flys anyway). If its meant to be with the other guy he'll still be around then.

Wolf

I would agree with the other posters. The only fair thing todo for both you and your current botfriend is to make a clean break. I know that if I was with someone that I loved and they wanted to be with someone else, I would want them to be with the person they wanted to be with. I know this is easy to say, but, I believe when you love someone you want them to be happy more than your own happiness.

This guy you are currently with made the choice to follow you here, I presume that you didn't ask him, and as such he has ended up with a good job out of it, but, at the end of the day it was still his choice. Knowing or not the risks he might have been taking. The thing is when you go into a relationship honestly there is no promise that its going to last forever and both parties have to accept that for whatever reason the relationship might end at any point.

If you stay with him you are lying to yourself and lying to your current boyfriend and that is wrong to yourself and wrong to him. Indeed, you may go out with this other guy for a while and end up not liking him, maybe he might meet someone else he likes more than you or maybe you might look back and end up thinking you lost something better, who knows.

We have to make choices on what is in front of us, it's living with those choices that is the hard part.