29 and still at home

whatnow

Hi,
Im 29 years old, unemployed and still living at home with my parents. Since I left school I never new what I wanted to do, so I went to college and did a one year course... After that I did another course, and another course after that....until five years passed and all I had were three certificates. I could have got'en a fecking masters if I stuck to one thing.

Anyway... So then I went to New York with my girlfriend for two years and did odd jobs, had a great time. Came back home and worked as a technician for a year.. I left that cos the hours were crazy & the money was crap.. so then I moved back home and worked for the family business for two years... and last November I was offered a six month contract with a factory which ended on Friday last... All of a sudden Im 29 years old and I have no direction in life.

So Ive done three totally different courses, worked three totally different Jobs. My CV is all over the place...

What is not helping the situation is, I cant decide weather I should take this opportunity to go to Australia for a year to clear my head, or should I get serious about a job and future and stuff. If I could decide on one of those things I'll be fine.... If I go down under, will it be another year wasted. If I go to Cork or Dublin and find a job will that be it, my life set in stone. Will I regret not ever going to Australia and end up taking it out on my girl friend, who by the way said she'll support me what ever decision I make.

I just feel worthless. I see all my friends with their degrees and jobs and houses. I wish I could turn back time, I would have gone to college - done a degree - travelled to Australia - come home and settle down...

Hank_Scorpio

you're free man

not tied down

every other man is jealous of you

they have to go to work and make ends meet.

at the end of life is death, people say renting is dead money, but it's all dead money in my book seen as you end up dead anyways

live your life and enjoy it

no regrets be what you want and do it with pride

in australia, america on mars or the moon man you just make the best of what you've got left and be done,

life is only hard if you make it hard

ai ing

Its never too late to go back to college and get that degree. Even at 29 you will not be anywhere near the oldest in your class. With a couple of certificates under your belt you may be able to jump straight to second year so in the end its only 2 years. And those 2 years at college are not even 2 full years. 24 weeks a year is not a whole lot. I went to college after 4 years out and have only a coule of weeks left now. I have to say it was the best decision I made. Got a well paying job lined up and the rest of my future ahead of me with a degree behind me.

Chances are you would really enjoy your year in Oz but if going to college is something you want to do then do it.

pyramuid man

TBH, this is something you are just going to have to think long and hard about. Weigh up the pros and cons and make your decision

Beruthiel

whatnow wrote:

I just feel worthless. I see all my friends with their degrees and jobs and houses.

so what?
don't live your life by other peoples standards.
There is no rule book in life, you're not a sheep.
I started my whole life from scratch at age 30, it's no biggie, makes the ride more interesting and you gain a hell of a lot more experience.
Bet these friends of yours envy your freedom.
Go travel, see the world if you want, why not go to Asutralia if you still want to. Age means nothing unless you want it to.

DublinWriter

whatnow wrote:

I wish I could turn back time, I would have gone to college - done a degree - travelled to Australia - come home and settle down...

...and all your childless friends with houses envy your friends with kids, and all your other friends without decking envy those that have decking, etc, etc, etc

Welcome to the hairy 30's!

Set yourself some lifegoals, five year plans, and stick to it, but be 100% about what you want.

It's not to late to go back to college if that's what you really want. You can also do a degree at night.

muppetkiller

I'd go to Auzz ..it's very easy to make good money out there and as your 29 I don't think after 30 your entitled to get the working holiday visa ..But I might be wrong..

just to add I'm 29 in 3 weeks and am living at home for the first time in 5 years...and it sucks big footballs...just back from Auzz after spending 4 years there.. so if ya need any advice or help getting work pm me..

REDZ

Don't go to OZ
Stay here and get a job, this is the best time ever to get a job in Ireland, you will get jobs here that you will never have a chance of getting anywhere else. try to decide what you want to do and go for it.
If you go to OZ, by the time you come back the economy will have slowed and you will have less chance of getting a good job.BTW avoid Jobs in construction,pretty soon they will a good few unemployed construction workers.
OZ is full of fecking racists anyway. Try NZ if you have to get away.
Redz

funkymonk

Some advice if you want it.
Think long and hard about 'who' you want to be. Figure that out then decide what you can do/achieve to be that person.

For what you've described it seems you have been drifting through your twenties (plenty of people do) but from what you say I don't think that is what you want to do. Ask yourself will Oz stop this drifting or be more of the same.

You also mentioned previously "If I go to Cork or Dublin and find a job will that be it, my life set in stone."

Getting a job and sticking with it or finding or creating a job that inspires you is an adventure in itself. A different type of adventure than travelling to the other side of the world, seeing the sites and sampling the local drugs. But it could be a deeper more profound adventure, as it will challenge your nature.

A friend of mine who has the well paid, permanent IT job with a successfully company, though he didn't really like it, was considering heading to Oz for the year. Instead he decided that this was akin to running away for the year and he decided to stick with the job as it would allow him to devote time to doing what he always wanted to do, set up a band and ROCK!. Which he is now doing around Dublin. So travelling is not always the answer, it depends on what the question is.

So it comes back to what you want to do? I'm afraid only you can answer that. bear in mind that I would think a significant portion of people are not doing what they want to do in life, but fall into situation out of laziness or mistakes whatever, compromise in the end.

I'm rambling at the moment, cos I too have had the same type of thoughts as you have had and I finally think I'm getting somewhere with them.

Good luck

py2006

Wow, reading your post was like reading about myself! I am in the exact same situation as you.

I am 29, I have a couple certificates behind me and still living at home. I never knew what I wanted to do in life. I have put off starting a degree as I am not sure I could stick to it and motivate myself to do well. I loose interest in things really easily.

I have never lived away from home. I have never done the travelling thing as I am too much of a home-bird!

I work part-time teaching computers. Money is decent for the hours I work but not enough. In order to buy my own house I would have to be working full-time.

I have no savings whatsoever and the future frightens and worries me.

Somebody said to me before that the best thing you can do is to move out of your house and out of Dublin and get a job and rent somewhere for a while. That this will open doors and offer a new prespective on life and get you motivated. I have yet to work up the courage to do this.

I think you should go for the job in Cork. Stick with it for a year or so. I too think renting is dead money but apparently moving out of your family home for first time and being independant is one of the best things you can do!

I really need to listen to my own advice!!!

Asiaprod

For record, I left Ireland when I was 30. I am now married and have an 11 year old girl. And you know what? I find myself asking myself, time and time again, why the F**k did I leave it so late to travel, and what else could I have experienced if I had left earlier.

Never be afraid to spread your wings. The challenge, is the excitment:)

ionapaul

I say 'F*ck it, go travelling!' - life is too short. A good way to look at it is 'which will I regret more when I'm on my deathbed...?' This has helped me to come to the decision to ditch the well-paid job I currently have and spend a couple of months re-evaluating my life and goals, which I will do during this summer.

I don't think sticking with a boring job or situation is the answer, in any case.

tbh

I went travelling at 26, was really homesick, so came home after 7 months. I'm 32 now, have a house, long-term gf, all the good stuff. I'm really glad I went tho, even if it didn't work out, because had I stayed, I'm pretty sure I would always wondering what it would be like. Ironically, I travel all over the place in my current job Travelling also made me change a lot, I developed the ability to trust my judgement, which I guess is harder than it sounds. My suggestion is to go for 3 months, get it out of your system, and don't just drift, use the time to think about what you want to do when you get back. The last couple of weeks, start easing yourself into the system, go to an internet cafe and spend a bit of time on a CV and looking for jobs..

Also, 29 really only seems old when you are 29. While I believe that you strike out in your 30's and kind of bed down the person you are going to be, you've still a fair bit of time to sort your head out, and still be a success at whatever you do. When are you going to have this chance to do anything you like again? Good luck with it, I know how these things can wreck your head.

py2006

Beruthiel wrote:

I started my whole life from scratch at age 30, it's no biggie, makes the ride more interesting and you gain a hell of a lot more experience.

I'd be interested in hearing how you went about this! It sounds like something I might have to do myself and it might help the OP aswell!

MDP

If you feel like getting a job in Dublin or Cork will set your life in stone, then don't do it. It will be nice to have money and freedom from your folks house, but unless its a job doing something that you actually enjoy (even in the tiniest part), then you will find yourself in a couple of years from now waking up and dreading each day of work. When each day becomes a chore, you have to think to yourself, if I die tomorrow, will I be satisfied with this?

Theres more than one way to skin a cat, make your own path.

Cake Fiend

whatnow wrote:

If I go down under, will it be another year wasted

I don't think this is the right way to look at this - what's one more year in an entire lifetime? In your position I reckon you should do whatever you can to put off being stuck in a career that you might end up hating.

You could always think about studying in Australia for a year, setting yourself up for a diploma or degree when you return. And don't forget open university!

constitutionus

truth be told man you'll be lucky to have a life "set in stone". unless you get a public sector job you dont have any job security at all in this country, were actually heading for the american average of everyone staying their job for only 2 years. for instance a mate of mine is a qualified computer scientist, got a great job in the IFSC married his long time girlfriend and bought a house. then lost his job. this was around the time of the dot com bubble and IT guys were getting ridiculous wages of around 95k a year , thats what my mate was on. only job he could get after that was for 55k and the bloody mortgage is still killing him. fact is while you may think your friends are doing alot better than you now the truth is no one knows what the future holds. two years from now half of em could be on the dole. you'll be amazed how many of them will be called "over qualified" at interviews , having a diverse CV like yours is actually an advantage. my best mates CV reads like a golden pages. practically nothing hes done has any connection to what he did next and hes no problem getting jobs (and hell he doesnt even have any qualification over a leaving cert)

as to being 29 and still living at home welcome to the majority of the population:D most people under 30 cant afford to move out unless they want to piss money away on rented accomodation with 6 other people sharing a 3 bed house. all the feminsit mags are full of bull saying "irish men dont want to leave mammy" but its bollocks, we just dont like throwing money away paying someone elses mortgage. so dont feel bad about being still at home, your hardly alone. hell man einstein didnt get a paying job in the field he wanted till he was 32:D

to the australia thing one of the other posters was right, once your over 30 you wont get a working visa so its now or never for that plan. personally ive done a lot of traveling when i was young and know i couldnt handle the home sickness (i belong in this island wheather i like it or not ) but EVERY ONE of my friends who went to australia has raved about it, many saying they want to go back for good. you can get work fairly easily, its a hell of a lot cheaper than here and half the countrys practically irish anyway. if your the travelling type do it, christ know when you have a mortgage and kids you wont be able to for decades!

jrey1981

25 and living at home myself...

I have friends & cousins my age or slightly older doing the whole mortgages thing. One drives a Lotus Elise...quite a few have travelled alot more than me, round the world, etc.

It really depends on what your priorities are.

The key is to maximise your options and take your time about figuring out what you want. As long as you have options to choose from and are not limiting them, you are one step ahead.

DublinWriter

constitutionus wrote:

to the australia thing one of the other posters was right, once your over 30 you wont get a working visa so its now or never for that plan. personally ive done a lot of traveling when i was young and know i couldnt handle the home sickness (i belong in this island wheather i like it or not ) but EVERY ONE of my friends who went to australia has raved about it

Don't overlook Canada either. It's pretty easy to emmigrate to, great health/education/social welfare system and the people are pretty liberal.

But OP it kind of worries me a little when you say you might want to check out Australia. If you're just going there for the chicks and weather, then your defeating your own arguement.

Not wanting to sound ageist, Australia is a great place to go to in your early 20's, but if you're in your 30's?, forget it.

Constitutionus, I worked abroad a lot between 25-30, mostly on temporary jobs. I laugh at myself now over how homesick I used to feel initially as I was such a 'little-Irelander'.

But now I've been working in Ireland for the past four years, and these days everytime I land in Heathrow or Zavantem (Brussels) I kinda let out a sigh and mentally say "I'm home". Homesickness is really worth getting over.

TheNog

Look I am a year older than you and I realised what I wanted to do at 29. Very few people can decide what they wanna do or be this early in life. I never went to college and I am in my 8th or 9th job since 18yrs old. All my jobs, though low pay meanial roles, look great on my CV with plenty of experience in a very wide range of jobs/industries. My current job as a supervisor requires a qualification but at my interview the company said that 'cos of my experience and attiutde they wanted to hire me. I now work in a euro43K+ job, have three properties and 2 of the most beautiful kids. I will tell you that it has been hard at times but I am looking to the future for me and my family.
When deciding what you want to do next, take your time. Don't feel rushed at all.

coffee_cake

asiaproddy wrote:

For record, I left Ireland when I was 30. I am now married and have an 11 year old girl.

Hush asia, we're trying to encourage him here


OP: I think travelling is a good idea, if you do think it'll clear your head. As long as you bear in mind not everything is going to neatly solve itself just by feckin off abroad.
Personally I think maybe you should go back to college. Buy a few books before you apply and see what subjects really get you going, what makes you think "I want more of this!" instead of just going to college for a job. My boyfriend went back to college at 29 - and his mother is there too. It's never too late to start afresh.

I just feel worthless. I see all my friends with their degrees and jobs and houses.

Maybe they don't like being tied down with a bajillion-euro mortgage. *shrug*
Don't try and live your life based on the apparent success of others. Find out what you really want to do and start there. And don't start looking by thinking 'But x has this and x has that...'
Good luck

Untense

There's no point waiting around here and hoping things in your life will just click.

Firstly, If you enter in to a course without a deal of certainty it's how you want to spend the next 4 years of your life, you risk to waste at least one year of your time.
I have a relative who repeated their first year of university twice before quitting.
I've had a couple of friends who drank away their first year in college before dropping out in second year with nothing.
I have a friend who changed her degree course year after year and eventually quit with nothing but the certainty that she needs time to think about it.
I have friends who went from PLC course to PLC course, year after year. Now that is time wasted.
I personally completed a certificate course before realising it was entirely not what I wanted to do with my life.

You shouldn't be afraid to stop, get away from everything and think about your life from a distance. You shouldn't be afraid to be without direction. Enjoy it like you did in New York.

Never mind your friends and stop gauging your own life by the lives of others.

I just feel worthless. I see all my friends with their degrees and jobs and houses.

Life is no race.
What have they accomplished that you haven't? They have successfully bought a house? In acquiring a mortgage which they are now legally tied to for the next what, 20 years? They have a kid? Yes, kids are great, but they don't exactly broaden your opportunities in life.

What about that lovely new car your buddy drives? Brilliant, he has the freedom that a car offers. Does he use it? Hardly. I bet he only uses it to drive to work and on weekends when he has to take the kids to the parents.
Oh but i suppose he does have the benefits of a car loan to pay off, car taxes, Insurance and the existential pleasures of washing the car every fortnight.

What exactly are you measuring your life by? What are they measuring their life by? Is success happiness, or is happiness success ?

You have to decide what you enjoy and what makes you happy. Even work or study can be fun when you're doing what you enjoy.

I say explore the world, trying new things, find out what you really enjoy doing.
Ask yourself what your forthcoming 'settled life' really involves and more importantly, why it involves those things.

You need to think about your values. Think about it long and hard and resolve to find your own way in life. I think you could do all of that while sunning your arse in Australia.

Asiaprod

bluewolf wrote:

Hush asia, we're trying to encourage him here

Oooops, I thought I was. Was just trying to say before I left I did not really have anything. Now I have the whole world and am happily married (guess I forgot the happily married bit, duh).

<bluewolf, was that ok:o, Eh, who is Aaiaproddy?>

coffee_cake

Asiaprod wrote:

Oooops, I thought I was. Was just trying to say before I left I did not really have anything. Now I have the whole world and am happily married (guess I forgot the happily married bit, duh).

I'm just teasing you, relax ;D

<bluewolf, was that ok:o, Eh, who is Aaiaproddy?>

You're asiaproddy. I can't call you asiay or proddy so it's asiaproddy.