Ridiculous abuse/comments

Dooom

What's the most dumbfounding remark you've heard or had said to you?

My personal favourite has to be: "Ya big mad cow disease ya". Or failing that, "D'ya have a ride on ya?" - that one being said to me yesterday by some scumbag girl.
I honestly just didn't know whether to laugh, make a witty reply or fall to my knees and scream at god for allowing people like that to live, on both occasions.

Rb

Well today as I was walking home from work, I was passing a banged up Micra which appeared to have a spoiler glued to it poorly, had those clip on alloys and tinted windows which was parked at the lights. When I reached the passenger side window, a little knacker with his cap at 45% pokes his rat like head out the window and goes "Ah would ye look at ye havin to walk, ye sap".
That goes down as pretty f*cking ridiculous in my book.

simu

Once, at school, a guy in my class that I neither got on especially well or badly with came up to me and started on some big spiel along the lines of: "I hate you so much, you think you're so great but you suck and you're really stupid blah blah etc" and then just walked off. I just stood there thinking wtf. Quite out of the blue!

Ruu_Old

"Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can't laugh either" was one someone told me at school..now I think Im going to go cry *sniffle*

simu

Ruu wrote:

"Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can't laugh either" was one someone told me at school..now I think Im going to go cry *sniffle*

Woah.

Sparky

rb_ie wrote:

Well today as I was walking home from work, I was passing a banged up Micra which appeared to have a spoiler glued to it poorly, had those clip on alloys and tinted windows which was parked at the lights. When I reached the passenger side window, a little knacker with his cap at 45% pokes his rat like head out the window and goes "Ah would ye look at ye havin to walk, ye sap".
That goes down as pretty f*cking ridiculous in my book.

Ah my keyboard, thats funny to read, but if that was me, I would start on his pathetic attempt on "modding" his banger.

In my own experience, I was in a supermarket in Stillorgan at lunchtime, and since my work entails me getting dirty from dust etc. I was abit dirty.
So I'm at the deli counter getting my roll and 4 school lads come in and one come up to me and says "You fcuking dirty nacker, its the likes of my mother that has to pay for clothes for you scum".
So needless to say I was speechless, he obviously never seen snickers workwear in his life or was taking the piss.
So I walked off, nodding my head. I got caught up in the Q at the till and did'nt notice them leaving, but as I was walking towards my car I seen a blue 307 reverse, as you do. But this was this lads car, so either he was looking at me or something but he reverses full way into a carina parked against the wall, nice damage done. So I took the opportunity to walk over and shout into the window "Look whos the nacker now, you call me dirty, look at the sh1t you have got yourself into".

I enjoyed that day, it was a Friday also.

Ruu_Old

Sparky-s wrote:

Ah my keyboard, thats funny to read, but if that was me, I would start on his pathetic attempt on "modding" his banger.

In my own experience, I was in a supermarket in Stillorgan at lunchtime, and since my work entails me getting dirty from dust etc. I was abit dirty.
So I'm at the deli counter getting my roll and 4 school lads come in and one come up to me and says "You fcuking dirty nacker, its the likes of my mother that has to pay for clothes for you scum".
So needless to say I was speechless, he obviously never seen snickers workwear in his life or was taking the piss.
So I walked off, nodding my head. I got caught up in the Q at the till and did'nt notice them leaving, but as I was walking towards my car I seen a blue 307 reverse, as you do. But this was this lads car, so either he was looking at me or something but he reverses full way into a carina parked against the wall, nice damage done. So I took the opportunity to walk over and shout into the window "Look whos the nacker now, you call me dirty, look at the sh1t you have got yourself into".

I enjoyed that day, it was a Friday also.

haha! well done old man

YeatsCounty

I remember standing beside a classmate back in Secondary School as he shouted "F*ck off, ya big little bollix" to a small guy who was antagonising him. This classmate was never the brightest, God love him.

Spike wrote:

Or failing that, "D'ya have a ride on ya?" - that one being said to me yesterday by some scumbag girl.

......the Hell? What does that even mean?

Sparky's story is legendary.

Dooom

YeatsCounty wrote:

the Hell? What does that even mean?

Well at first I thought she had asked me for a lighter, but I think in normal folk speak it means "would you have sex with me". Could be wrong there.

WhiteWashMan

Ruu wrote:

"Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can't laugh either" was one someone told me at school..now I think Im going to go cry *sniffle*

now thats funny.

nesf

"You are an arrogant, smug and selfish bastard."

A woman scorned and all that.

byte

Sparky-s wrote:

Ah my keyboard, thats funny to read, but if that was me, I would start on his pathetic attempt on "modding" his banger.

In my own experience, I was in a supermarket in Stillorgan at lunchtime, and since my work entails me getting dirty from dust etc. I was abit dirty.
So I'm at the deli counter getting my roll and 4 school lads come in and one come up to me and says "You fcuking dirty nacker, its the likes of my mother that has to pay for clothes for you scum".
So needless to say I was speechless, he obviously never seen snickers workwear in his life or was taking the piss.
So I walked off, nodding my head. I got caught up in the Q at the till and did'nt notice them leaving, but as I was walking towards my car I seen a blue 307 reverse, as you do. But this was this lads car, so either he was looking at me or something but he reverses full way into a carina parked against the wall, nice damage done. So I took the opportunity to walk over and shout into the window "Look whos the nacker now, you call me dirty, look at the sh1t you have got yourself into".

I enjoyed that day, it was a Friday also.

ROFFLE :D Brilliant!

Tchocky

I have shoulder-length hair, which was bait for the less life-worthy elements of my all-boys secondary school. Nothing extraordinary, but I remember one day in the corridor between classes, hearing this from behind me

schwaaaa....go back to Vietnam, ya hippy!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have hugged him for it, made my day it did

Jello

''Go draw a picture of dignity''

I laughed.

greglo23

the best insult i ever came across was in Irish which translated to
" Your as thick as the back of my Bol**ix that never saw anything but Shi*e " cant remember the Irish version though unfortunately

Ruu_Old

WhiteWashMan wrote:

now thats funny.

Thats it! Im closing the internet...forever!

imeddyhobbs

Go home and tell your mother to get married:D

LadyJ

A bouncer hit on me once and when I rejected him he said,

"Are you a les,are ya?" And when I said no he said "Ya bleedin' look like one!"

Wtf???

tman

LadyJ wrote:

A bouncer hit on me once and when I rejected him he said,

"Are you a les,are ya?" And when I said no he said "Ya bleedin' look like one!"

Wtf???

it's called an ego defence mechanism.
tis up there with "pfft! no need to be picky, i wasn't!"

Nevyn

'oh so your what a imcomplete abortion looks like if it contunes to gestate'.

Degsy

Tchocky wrote:

I have shoulder-length hair, which was bait for the less life-worthy elements of my all-boys secondary school. Nothing extraordinary, but I remember one day in the corridor between classes, hearing this from behind me

schwaaaa....go back to Vietnam, ya hippy!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have hugged him for it, made my day it did

He should have said "I'll tie thhe long hair on your head to the short hair on yer ass and kick you up and down the street!"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Probably this: (post #8 should the whole thread come up)

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=51150921#post51150921

LadyJ

I was at a house party a few years ago and me and my ex were having some kind of argument in the bathroom. When we came out,the guy who's house it was asked, "Did you have sex in my bathroom?"
We just laughed and then he shouted,
"I pissed all over that floor!"

Classic.

Repli

rb_ie wrote:

Well today as I was walking home from work, I was passing a banged up Micra which appeared to have a spoiler glued to it poorly, had those clip on alloys and tinted windows which was parked at the lights. When I reached the passenger side window, a little knacker with his cap at 45% pokes his rat like head out the window and goes "Ah would ye look at ye havin to walk, ye sap".
That goes down as pretty f*cking ridiculous in my book.

LOL that was class My worse was when my mate called me a 'gay homosexual' I replied with 'Is that like.. a straight person?' Actually another time I was playing football with my friends and 1 of their little brothers was playing, he was only 12 or something and I tackled him and he screams at me (very angrily) 'You have a big willie!!!' I just said thanks and kept playing..

The Doktor

Teacher to me...
"you`re like.. a.. a ..frozen sausage!!!"

Umaro

So I took the opportunity to walk over and shout into the window "Look whos the nacker now, you call me dirty, look at the sh1t you have got yourself into".

XD

i bow to you

Zapp Brannigan

I was walking back from lunch to school a few years back and me and my mates walked past a group of scumbags. Earlier my mate had dropped his Ice-cream and a bit of it got on the bottom of my trousers. So as we walked past one of these "geniuses" shouted at me "Ah....WHITELEG!!!" Me and my friends just started laughing our heads off.

Ruu_Old

I was so angry at one of my teachers in primary school, in my temporary insanity I called him (not to this face).."Hes a big, fat, thin, tall basturd!":mad: hehe

el rabitos

i'm walking home one day from town with my head down daydreaming, when i hear "what the **** are you looking at?! go back to your own country ye bleeeedin niggor"

...i was looking at the ground....and i'm white....and i'm irish.

that was a thinker

Freelancer

Bully in the school about a decade or so ago was giving me grief in the..."you're stupid and smell variety". He was a big lad, and eventually I snapped and turned around to him and said "Ian ever been to the beach?" He goes "Yeah what me parents took me to spain last year, so?" I said "Has anyone ever mistaken you for a beached whale?"

He was actually speechless. One of his henchboys took me aside and said "Thats the stupidest and cleverist thing I've ever heard. You're dead. It was really funny, but y'know you're dead"

And hey Sparky it was in Oatlands just around the corner from Stillorgan its where they breed thick ignorant school boys

Heyes

LadyJ wrote:

A bouncer hit on me once and when I rejected him he said,

"Are you a les,are ya?" And when I said no he said "Ya bleedin' look like one!"

Wtf???

LOL thats the stupidest thing ive ever heard:rolleyes:

Dooom

el rabitos wrote:

i'm walking home one day from town with my head down daydreaming, when i hear "what the **** are you looking at?! go back to your own country ye bleeeedin niggor"

...i was looking at the ground....and i'm white....and i'm irish.

that was a thinker

Assuming they were talking to you, that's brilliant.

Dagnir Glaurung

Freelancer wrote:

And hey Sparky it was in Oatlands just around the corner from Stillorgan its where they breed thick ignorant school boys

I go there and you are perfectly correct.