Choose Leinster, Choose Munster

youcancallmeal

Just got this in an email and thought I’d share it. It’s probably more suited to the humour forum but somehow I thought it would be more appreciated here. More choices welcome…;)


Choose Leinster

Choose getting to the semi-foinals of the European Cup for only, loike, the second time and losing the COMPLETE run of yorselves,
Choose to get off yor orses for the forst toime ever and follow your team South of France and then pretend that yor, loike, the BEST supporters EVER,
Choose Blackrock or Moichaels or Clongowes,
Choose not to have any songs to sing,
Choose brown-nosing,
Choose Koileys,
Choose never to get to a European final,
Choose a bloke at 10 who you paid thousands for but then forgot to fill in the forms (I was loike SO going to do it but then I spilled loike crème bruleé ALL over my chinos man),
Choose to delude yourselves into thinking that David Wallace wont eat Contepomi for breakfast, while O'Connell is cutting him up some Darcy and ODriscoll steaks (oh yeah)
Choose Puerto Banus,
Choose polo shirts and a Pringle jumper over yor shoulders,
Choose a pack of forwards that couldnt beat an egg,
Choose a Welsh reject for a scrum-half,
Choose to change yor coach every year,
Choose to lose half yor team to English clubs in the summer,
Choose to believe that if you dont get yor double orange mocha choca frappuccino in the morning its SO the worst day EVER,
Choose to not have any passion (unless its the piece of fruit yor Mummy gave you going out the door in the morning),
Choose to waste thousands on resurfacing your home pitch but then focking it up time after time after time,
Choose to ignore anyone without a private school background,
Choose 5 man rugby,
Choose having a significant representation on the worst Lions team ever,
No YOU choose to accept consistent failure....
Choose Leinster

And the other side of the story:

Choose Munster................
Choose heroic failiure,
Choose to follow your team to the South of France but not down the road on a wet Sunday,
Choose Pres or Christians or Ardscoil Ris,
Choose to believe that Athenry is in Limerick,
Choose bandwagonery,
Choose the SinBin,
Choose to ignore Ulsters European Title,
Choose to lose to Northampton in a Euro final,
Choose a bloke at 10 who got 16 slaps in the head without the guts to throw one back,
Choose to move to Dublin for the Work ( Cap in hand, twisting it behind your back ),
Choose to scream at a crying baby for not staying silent during Rogs kick,
Choose social climbing,
Choose to believe you were there in 1978 because you went to see Alone it Stands,
Choose Queenstown.
Choose to whinge about Neil Back,
Choose to believe Tony Ward was from Limerick,
Choose to believe you are a son of the soil when the nearest you get to it is at the English market where you buy sun dried tomatoes,
Choose to congratulate yourselves continually,
Choose to believe that a pantomine cow is the height of humour,
Choose to believe Wallace can tackle,
Choose Alicante (like)
Choose Redshirts (all the bloody time),
Choose injured aging backs,
Choose a scrum half trying to sell underwear,
Choose to believe Stand Up and Fight is an original tune,
Choose to condemn any foul play except from a Munster player when it becomes something to be proud of,
Choose Smug,
Choose to undermine other Irish provinces by interviewing their coaches before their biggest games of the year,
Choose to accept Leinsters sloppy seconds,
Choose to give contracts to as many non Irish players as possible,
Choose to believe you have the monopoly on passion,
Choose lower average attendances than Leinster (even for Celtic league games),
Choose Body odour....
Choose to ignore your own Private school background to claim Working Class credentials,
Choose not to play the game,
Choose to accept Brian O'Meara back(!),
Choose 10 man rugby,
Choose fewer Lions,
Choose to accept consistent failure....
Choose Munster

Downtime

youcancallme>al wrote:

Choose getting to the semi-foinals of the European Cup for only, loike, the second time and losing the COMPLETE run of yorselves,

Whoever wrote is not an ERC history buff anyway - Its Leinsters third semi final.

istep

LOL absolute class!

That sets up the semi nicely!

Amz

Isn't this really old?

Downtime

Really old.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Amz

I should add this to the list of bannable offences.

youcancallmeal

Amz wrote:

I should add this to the list of bannable offences.

Though it might entertain but obviously not.
Please just delete it.

Amz

No need to get your knickers in a knot loike.

Crash

Ah there is now...

Downtime

youcancallme>al wrote:

Though it might entertain but obviously not.
Please just delete it.

Entertained some but not others (just those who have seen it many times), but I am sure some others haven't - I don't think your knickers are in a knot either as Amz suggests

Nukem

Someone tried to tackle David Wallace once but then found out you can't tackle David Wallace.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Denis Leamy and forgot to pay him back
You are what you eat. That is why Paul O'Connells diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Wallace punched himself in the face
Denis Leamy sold his soul to the devil for his ability to never feel pain and unparalleled strength. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Leamy bounced the devil before dumping him on hiss ass and taking his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Paul O' Connell
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break David wallace open you would find another David Wallace inside, only smaller and angrier.
An Englishman once tried to throw a ball over Denis Leamy's head......This has gone down as the biggest mistake in rugby history
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Paul O'Connell
Superman owns a pair of David Wallace pyjamas.
Denis Leamy once had a near death experience...needless to say death now refuses to come near him.
On Moh's hardness scale, diamond is a 10. Paul O'Connell is an 11.
David Wallace wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.
We all know the magic word is please.. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Denis Leamy doesn't believe in magic
The world record for most simultanaeous female orgasms was set when Paul O' Connell took off his top in Paris
David Wallace is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right shoulders
Denis Leamy is Bruce Wayne
Paul O'Connell appeared in the "Mortal Kombat II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to run the length of the screen and bust his opponent earning him a " Flawless Victory". When asked about this "glitch,"
O'Connell replied, "That's no glitch."
As a child David Wallace used to hunt alligators in the Shannon. I know what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the Shannon".
Yeah...Now!
Denis Leamy hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Human females have two X chromosomes.. Males have an X and a Y. Paul O'Connell has three Ys and a P. He's more man than you'll ever be.
Denis Leamy Paul O' Connel and David Wallace once went to Wembley to see England v Ireland in a soccer match. They stood in the middle of the English crowd in their Irish jerseys. This has gone down in history as the only time a whole stadium sang the away teams national anthem and a minute silence was held for the home teams'.

Teg Veece

Nukem wrote:

Someone tried to tackle David Wallace once but then found out you can't tackle David Wallace.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Denis Leamy and forgot to pay him back
You are what you eat. That is why Paul O'Connells diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Wallace punched himself in the face
Denis Leamy sold his soul to the devil for his ability to never feel pain and unparalleled strength. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Leamy bounced the devil before dumping him on hiss ass and taking his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Paul O' Connell
Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break David wallace open you would find another David Wallace inside, only smaller and angrier.
An Englishman once tried to throw a ball over Denis Leamy's head......This has gone down as the biggest mistake in rugby history
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Paul O'Connell
Superman owns a pair of David Wallace pyjamas.
Denis Leamy once had a near death experience...needless to say death now refuses to come near him.
On Moh's hardness scale, diamond is a 10. Paul O'Connell is an 11.
David Wallace wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.
We all know the magic word is please.. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Denis Leamy doesn't believe in magic
The world record for most simultanaeous female orgasms was set when Paul O' Connell took off his top in Paris
David Wallace is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right shoulders
Denis Leamy is Bruce Wayne
Paul O'Connell appeared in the "Mortal Kombat II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to run the length of the screen and bust his opponent earning him a " Flawless Victory". When asked about this "glitch,"
O'Connell replied, "That's no glitch."
As a child David Wallace used to hunt alligators in the Shannon. I know what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the Shannon".
Yeah...Now!
Denis Leamy hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Human females have two X chromosomes.. Males have an X and a Y. Paul O'Connell has three Ys and a P. He's more man than you'll ever be.
Denis Leamy Paul O' Connel and David Wallace once went to Wembley to see England v Ireland in a soccer match. They stood in the middle of the English crowd in their Irish jerseys. This has gone down in history as the only time a whole stadium sang the away teams national anthem and a minute silence was held for the home teams'.

Funny the way they picked 3 of the most injury prone munster players.
What am I saying, the whole team is injury prone...