HAve a girlfriend but like someone else

LegacyUser

Hows it going,

Ive been going out with my current gf for about 3 years now and I thought things were going Ok until I went away there last weekend.

Basically a girl I always had a soft spot for made an advance on me (although she was very drunk) and I obliged. This is first time I have cheated on my gf and I dont feel guilty at all, i just cant wait to go out with the other girl again and try and get with her again.

The problem is I think I love both of them. Is this possible?
Or am I just wanting a change or something? I dont know im just so confused about it all, any advice comments would be appreciated.

py2006

Well no, I don't believe you can love 2 people at once! I also don't believe you truly love your girlfriend of 3 years! If you did you wouldn't have cheated!

If you are having feelings for another woman and do not feel guilty about cheating on your current girlfriend then you really need to end your relationship!

dudara

I think that it is possible to have feelings for two people at once. What matters however, is what you do about these feelings.

You have to treat your current girlfriend with respect. If you don't feel bad about cheating on her, then you don't care enough for her, and you need to finish it with her. Do it decently.

Tchocky

Hmmm, you say you love both of them.......this may seem trite, but who are you IN love with?

Rogueish

dudara wrote:

I think that it is possible to have feelings for two people at once. What matters however, is what you do about these feelings.

You have to treat your current girlfriend with respect. If you don't feel bad about cheating on her, then you don't care enough for her, and you need to finish it with her. Do it decently.

Well said Dudars, I have to agree.

metrovelvet

You are attached and bonded with your girlfriend. I would not consider lying and deceiving as evidence of love or respect.

If you are going to be seeing someone else you should tell the woman you are with.

Tar.Aldarion

You can have feelings for both - I have feelings for more than one person, you can't be in love with both. If you loved your girlfriend you could not even consider cheating. This is what ended my last two relationships, I want a different girl and I knew it, so I did the decent thing - singleness, end it as best you can.

Nevyn

Unless you have an arrangement with your current gf that you can see other people or talk with her and come to such an understanding then it would be best
to end your current relationship before starting another one.

Hagar

lifesabitch! wrote:

Basically a girl I always had a soft spot for made an advance on me (although she was very drunk) and I obliged.

That was very civil of you. "I obliged", I've never heard it put quite as succinctly before. You have a chance of a bit on the side and you're thinking with your little head instead of your big head. If you never considered a relationship with the second girl before she started putting out you don't love her you just lust her. Stop trying to justify your actions to yourself by imagining you have feelings for her.

memphis

You cheated on your girlfriend and don't fell guilty about it!!!!

I'm sorry but you obviously don't have much respect for your gf of 3 years if you would so and not feel guilty.

You need to let your girlfriend know about this if you genuinely love her.... but i don't believe you do. if you wanna do what is right, then end the relationship with your girlfriend. The sad reality is that you were unloyal, and cheated If you respect your girlfriend enough you will tell her this!!!

Ag marbh

You're only coddin yourself, ya dont love your girlfriend. Realised the very thing very recently and even more so today.

Stench Blossoms

If you cheated on your girlfriend and are not guilty about it you shouldn't be with her.

End it, for her sake.

Jean Luc

lifesabitch! wrote:

Hows it going,

Ive been going out with my current gf for about 3 years now and I thought things were going Ok until I went away there last weekend.

Basically a girl I always had a soft spot for made an advance on me (although she was very drunk) and I obliged. This is first time I have cheated on my gf and I dont feel guilty at all, i just cant wait to go out with the other girl again and try and get with her again.

The problem is I think I love both of them. Is this possible?
Or am I just wanting a change or something? I dont know im just so confused about it all, any advice comments would be appreciated.

fair play mate..treat em mean..keep em keen

Dinxminx

End it end it end it end it. You're just hurting your girlfriend.

Cactus Col

Tell your girlfriend and let her have the satisfaction of dumping a cheating bastard.

Wolf

Oh, this is so simple!

You can't have your cake and eat it!

Decide who you want to be with and choose one. Untill you do choose don't carry on with one with stringing the other one along or you are a total bastard and deserve to lose them both. Make up your mind and stick with your decsion.

tbh

you mean you can't *eat* your cake and have it. It's very simple to have your cake and eat it. In fact, you can't eat it without having it.


anyway.

I'll go along with what most people have said. You should break up with your girlfriend. You have not committed any crime, people fall out of love, but do the decent thing and finish it. That way, the hurt is kept to a minimum. Taking the easy way out just ends up hurting everyone in the long run.

Wolf

tbh wrote:

you mean you can't *eat* your cake and have it. It's very simple to have your cake and eat it. In fact, you can't eat it without having it.

Interesting and pedantic as your point is I feel the need to question it. While you are correct in saying that you can have your cake then eat it. You can't have it and eat it, because, then you wouldn't have it anymore would you?

tbh

Wolf wrote:

Interesting and padantic as your point is I feel the need to question it. While you are correct in saying that you can have your cake then eat it. You can't have it and eat it, because, then you wouldn't have it anymore would you?

you can't have it and eat it all, once you've finished eating it, you no longer have it, thats true. But in that case, the phrase should be "you can't have it and eat it, and still have it". Sorry for taking this off topic

btw - I never correct spelling, but I can't pass this up. padantic -> pedantic.

Wolf

Not going to reply to this anymore as you have said it drawing off topic, but,

1/ I actually corrected that, but, accidentally made a double post, but, you were so quick to leap on the nit picking again that you beat me too it.

2/ To say that is quite ridiculous really as the statement itself would suggest no need for further clarification is needed, by the statement itself, but, I'm sure you feel from your high horse that absolute correctness is absolutly needed?

Dragan

lifesabitch! wrote:

The problem is I think I love both of them. Is this possible?

Nope it's not, it's called wanting to do them both , or having you cake and eating it, or being a c*nt. which ever you want.

Dude, stop being a fuc*ing dick. If you don't feel guilty for cheating on your girlfriend then just break up with her. It's pretty obvious you don't give a crap about her either way.

pheasantplucker

its an easy enough one to ask yourself.. Can you imagine yourself not every seeing or being with your current girlfriend again?.... Often the grass is greener and then its too late to go back to where you were.

meowCat

of course you can have feelings for both, but just...what kind of feelings?

If you truly still loved your g/f, you wouldn't have cheated. I think you want to get out of your current relationship. You say that other girl has had a soft spot for you for some time. Why did you choose to "oblige" her now?

Maybe you feel infatuation for the other girl, but really, I believe that she is just the excuse you needed for leaving your g/f.

Naturally, you are confused about your feelings though. After three years with your g/f you probably haven't felt this kind of "excitement" in a long while. You have to give it some time. Try avoiding both and see if you can sort out the mess in your head/heart first.

Try to do the noble thing. Many people don't because it seems like less hassle not to tell, but nobody is such a perfect liar. Your g/f surely senses that something's up. You owe it to her to not lie. Cheating feels like such a betrayal because everything happens behind someone's back....

good luck!

killeoin

I think the real question here is what did you get off of the other girl. Its not worth the hassle if its only poxy kissing or whatever!