Leaving Boyfriend to go Travelling

LegacyUser

I have just booked tickets to go travelling around the world with my sister for 3 months this Summer. I am really excited about going, but slightly nervous because I will be leaving my boyfriend of four years at home in ireland.

Just wondering if any of you have headed off without your significant other before and how did it work out? Are you glad you did it or did you spend the whole time wishing your time away? This is the longest time we will be apart since we started going out so I'm unsure what to expect! Thanks!

Gordon

3 months is no time. You'll enjoy it as long as you don't pine for him every day and get on with seeing the sights and sounds of your location.

Sony

I dont think this is a problem at all - if youre going out for 4 year it must be a pretty strong relationship...sure youll miss each other but it'll be perfectly healthy

Travelling is something you should never hold anyone back from doing-especially yourself..stop worrying -go for it !

[Jackass]

Take loads of photos so you can share it with him when you get back...and just spend the rest of your time away enjoying yourself...they're usually once in a life time experiences, so just relax and enjoy

GretchenWieners

Well if you have trust issues you'll have a problem, but if you don't you'll be fine!!

LegacyUser

There are definitely no trust issues. I'm just afraid that I'll miss him too much and that this will impact on my enjoyment.

Also, I've been wondering (just a little bit) if it's bad form to leave the boyfriend at home while I jet off. He'd love to come but is unable to at this moment and time. It's what I want to do now that I have the chance though!

Gordon

You don't have to be joined at the hip, it's healthy for a relationship to have time away from each other imo.

daiixi

I broke up with my ex before leaving Oz to go travelling for 6 months and I've now been away for four years. Sometimes I regret leaving him behind but for the most part I'm happy with my decision to travel.

I've met two types of people who were travelling without their significant others. The first type realise that they're only travelling for a short amount of time and make the most of every minute. The second type spend hours every day texting, calling, emailing and missing their partners and end up (in my opinion) wasting their time and money as they don't experience their travels as much as they should be.

As Gordon said, three months will pass in the blink of an eye.

gsand

I went out with a girl for a couple years who was away for 2 months, she texted, called, msn a lot but still had a great time and things were cool when she got back so you can do both!

In this situation 4 years vs 3 months, i think ull be ok.

oulu

What would the harm be id you had some fun and him too

the Guru

I went to Australia years ago for a year and I stayed with my ex it was the one of biggest mistakes I ever made she followed me 4months later which was a terrible decision, it ruined my experience and over there.

3 months is no time at all and If you love each other, and stay in regular touch, and if you don't have a wandering eye there should be no issues, 4 years is a long time and you should have built up large amounts of trust.

have fun on your trip

kizzyr

Sunnysandgirl wrote:

There are definitely no trust issues. I'm just afraid that I'll miss him too much and that this will impact on my enjoyment.

Also, I've been wondering (just a little bit) if it's bad form to leave the boyfriend at home while I jet off. He'd love to come but is unable to at this moment and time. It's what I want to do now that I have the chance though!

I can understand why you'd miss him. I've been with my boyfriend for the guts of 7 years now (7 this July) but early in our relationship I was thinking of going to Australia with a friend from college. It would have meant going without him and when push came to shove I just couldn't do it. It wasn't for trust reasons I just felt that we had something really great going and I really wanted to see that out and we were too early in our relationship to be able to survive me going away for a year. Even though its years later I still have no regrets about not going and leaving him for a year. However I have and still do go away on holidays or trips without him and he does too. I've gone to lots of places without him with friends, my brother, sister etc and while yes I have missed him while I was away I've also enjoyed myself hugely as has he when he has gone away. I think it is normal and healthy to have some time apart like this especially when you've been going out for a long time as you have and even more so if you live together.
My advise would be to head off, have a fabulous time, be aware of the fact that you will miss him but just think of the fun you'll have when you get back home to him;)

itsalltrue

3 moths is 12 saturday nights too much. It be ok for the first few weeks with palm but after that of course he'll stray and you shouldn't get mad cos you'll do the same you'll be out one night have a few drinks to many and it will be all good. Break up before you go and get back together when you get back then at least neither of ye will feel guilty afterwords.

Jean Luc

itsalltrue wrote:

3 moths is 12 saturday nights too much. It be ok for the first few weeks with palm but after that of course he'll stray and you shouldn't get mad cos you'll do the same you'll be out one night have a few drinks to many and it will be all good. Break up before you go and get back together when you get back then at least neither of ye will feel guilty afterwords.

one way to end the relationship..
to the op, if you feel that you're in a good relationship with your boyfriend ignore the above advice..even if he agrees with you he's not going to mean it and will take it as a sign that you are going to stray..and what's the first thing he'll do? he'll stray too

seamus

3 months is nothing. The first few weeks will be tough, but you'll get used to it. My gf of 6 years has been living in London for the past year and a half. She comes home every so often for a few weeks, and I'd go over for a weekend at least once a month. We have a rule though that when she goes back after a stint at home, I can't go over for at least 3 weeks. It's actually much like ending a relationship - if you spend the initial few days/weeks in constant contact, then you do nothing but think of that person and pine constantly. If you initially keep communication to a minimum, you get much more used to the situation, and can then resume contacting eachother as much as you like.

You'll find your relationship much stronger as a result - when you get back you'll both feel much happier when just doing your own thing. It's easy in a relationship to develop a need for that person as an emotional crutch, always there, etc, and can find it hard to do anything as individuals.

LegacyUser

I'm going to ignore the posts above that talk about my boyfriend straying. That is absolutely not an issue here. We trust each other completely and I'm not worried about that aspect at all.

Seamas, your post was very helpful. I can completely relate to what you said about how you can make it worse for yourself if you ring each other every day. I do think that this time apart will be good for both of us though. We're both still young and it'll be good for us to have a bit of a breather, so to speak! Meeting up again after the holiday will be something to look forward to anyway!

I have just one question for those who think it's not worth going away because of the risk of a boyfriend cheating on you while your away. Surely it's not worth passing up the opportunity of the holiday of a lifetime for some boyfriend who's gonna cheat on you while you're away? Why give up something so good for a guy who you clearly shouldnt be with anyway? You shouldn't put yourself in a position where you feel like you can't leave your boyfriend for fear of him cheating?

kizzyr

Sunnysandgirl wrote:

I'm going to ignore the posts above that talk about my boyfriend straying. That is absolutely not an issue here. We trust each other completely and I'm not worried about that aspect at all.

Seamas, your post was very helpful. I can completely relate to what you said about how you can make it worse for yourself if you ring each other every day. I do think that this time apart will be good for both of us though. We're both still young and it'll be good for us to have a bit of a breather, so to speak! Meeting up again after the holiday will be something to look forward to anyway!

I have just one question for those who think it's not worth going away because of the risk of a boyfriend cheating on you while your away. Surely it's not worth passing up the opportunity of the holiday of a lifetime for some boyfriend who's gonna cheat on you while you're away? Why give up something so good for a guy who you clearly shouldnt be with anyway? You shouldn't put yourself in a position where you feel like you can't leave your boyfriend for fear of him cheating?[/QUOTE]
Too right, if your boyfriend is going to cheat he will do it if you are here or somewhere else, you being away would just be used as the excuse a la David Beckham when he bumped uglies with Rebecca Loos, apparently that was all Victoria's fault for wanting more than just being his wife:rolleyes: I think you should go on this trip, enjoy it, you will miss your boyfriend but when you meet up again it will be such fun;)

LegacyUser

Oh dear, I had been feeling so optimistic about this holiday just last week, but just yesterday I got very upset at the thought of going 12 weeks without my boyfriend. Now my doctor has prescribed an anxiolytic drug for me!

I really would like to be feeling happy about this "chance of a lifetime holiday" but inside I feel physically sick. I could shorten the dates for the holiday and can even cancel out altogether at this stage but I know I would regret this. I'm not heading off until the end of the Summer and I don't like the idea of spending every day until then dreading it!

sachamama

thats a huge turnaround from what you said about trusting your boyfriend and having the opportunity of a lifetime. It sounded like you totally trust him and are confident in the relationship.
however, getting medication makes this serious.

what is the issue here do you think? Sorry if these questions sound harsh but maybe you should ask yourself:-
are you afraid to make decisions without your boyfriend?
have you become dependent on him?
what exactly is making you anxious?

Talk about your answers with your boyfriend, even ask him what he thinks. if you do find you are dependent on him then its really good that you caught it now, and can do something about it. but dont chastise yourself. You need to do this slowly. 2 weeks away from him might be long enough at this stage, even 1 week. work through in your head what you feel comfortable with.

all in all the reason for this trip is to have fun and enjoy life. if you feel at this stage that you are just traumatizing yourself then do cancel and plan something away from him for a shorter time.

walk in beauty,
Sachamama

jenz101

leaving my boyfriend of 3 years to go travelling feel horrible but i know he doesnt want to travel where as im back in ireland with 3 years now and i just feel like **** since i came back so ive booked a flight

Merkin

jenz101 wrote: »

leaving my boyfriend of 3 years to go travelling feel horrible but i know he doesnt want to travel where as im back in ireland with 3 years now and i just feel like **** since i came back so ive booked a flight

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