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seeing ex girlfriend again

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  • 01-04-2006 8:48pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    here is a bit of a summary of my situation...
    myself and ex broke up about 6 months ago after being with each other for 2 years. we finished mostly because i wasnt treating her as i should have.
    basically, we started seeing each other again a few weeks ago, going out to dinner together, go for a drink etc and last weekend we ended up sleeping together for the first time since we broke up. it felt a bit ackward the next day on the phone to her as we both felt a bit cold about what had just happened.

    anyway, today i met up with her after not seeing her for a week and she says that she felt cold and unemotional about sleeping together and that she thought that i wasn't really letting her know how i felt about her since we started seeing each other again. she was basically saying that she thinks that we should not continue to see each other again.

    my issue is this...
    i didnt really know how i was feeling for her since we started meeting again and wanted to see how we get on just seeing each other casually (with no sex) and then i should be in a better position to know how i feel about her. i did not feel all that much after i slept with her last week but i did not use this as a guage in determining how i feel about her overall, whereas her lack of feeling anything gave her confirmation that we should stop doing this...
    my question is this....
    if you havent been with someone in so long and ye are meant to be together, does it just pick up from where it stopped the last time or does it take a bit of work. i.e if you dont fall for someone again straight away, does this mean that its not meant to be?


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    #2
    daRobot
    Registered Users Posts: 2,380 ✭✭✭daRobot


    Personally, i reckon that the sex with an ex you haven't been with for a while should be pretty explosive.Kinda like a big release of tension and a physical expression that you're happy to be doing this again.

    Basically, if there were no sparks, it's time to call it a day.


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    #3
    CathyMoran
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,458 Mod ✭✭✭✭CathyMoran


    From experience it takes a lot of work, but it can be worth it. Someone once told me "what is meant for you will not pass you by" - only you can decide in the end. My other half and I were apart for almost 3 years (but staying friends) before we got back (after being together over 5 years).


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    well there was sparks alright, the sex was amazing. the problem was that it was actually too physical if you know what i mean. there was no emotional attachment there. as a guy i don't mind all that much, in my head i was saying to myself "well the emotional side will come back eventually if we keep on seeing her" but her side of the story was "well there was no emotion to it so why should we continue to see each other"


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