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Flirting in the office...

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  • 29-03-2006 10:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok - quite simple one here really I think. Girl at work - fancied here for a while, nothing major - actually, I just thought she was cute, no more no less. Recently had to move desks and I'm sitting beside her. So after two or three months now, it turns out we get on like a house on fire.

    Has been pointed out by some of the girls that we're continously flirting with each other - I know I am for definite, but amn't sure if the girl is just being friendly or not - we're both attached. A fortnight or so ago we had a work social, ended up sitting on her lap and the usual shananigans that go on when too much drink has been consumed. Was a bit surprised when she rang the following morning on my way to work to see if I was alright though - she's never rang before, and I didn't even know she had my number. And after some self deprocating humour on my part today, she told me to stop putting myself down and that theres loads of girls who're interested in me - she's said similar before, but jokingly, today she sounded almost sincere though! :D

    Am feeling slightly confused by the whole situation - not sure if I'm misinterpreting any signals, if there are any... haven't done the dirt on my missus at all in several years of our relationship, and haven't been tempted either - but am finding myself getting more and more attracted to this girl!

    Am I getting hot under the collar over nothing??


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    #2
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    from how you portray things it sounds like she is attracted to you. i think you believe this as well.

    the real question is what are you going to do about it? if you are already in a relationship it really shouldn't matter of interpretation of signals.


    i'm trying not to be judgemental, but it already sounds if you're getting a little too cosy.

    be careful!


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    #3
    tonymahoney
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭tonymahoney


    Hi
    I am a man working with a team of women and they are a great bunch. I know where you are coming from! You can flirt as much as you want but don't bite the bait.

    Rules of engagement are:

    Flirt as often as you like
    look at the menu
    window shop
    have a laugh and sexual innendo's {depending on the envirionment}
    but never eat off the menu or stray if you love or are mad about your partner.

    Be careful and have fun!:D


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    #4
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Do take the time to check your companines/employers HR policies on this.
    seriously.


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    #5
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Dont **** where you eat.


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    #6
    Dreamer 7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭Dreamer 7


    To put it bluntly, if she was unattractive would you think she fancied you, when we like someone its hard to see the wood for the trees.

    I went through the same thing at christmas, but i went a step further and went for it at the office Xmas do. The thrill of it was wonderful, the secrecy and the feeling that someone desired me. But my fiancee found out and it ruined christmas and shook our relationship to the core. The pain I saw him go through , the lack of trust he has now.... what im trying to say is if you want to take things further think of ur other halfs face because she will find out. Somehow they always do :(


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Do take the time to check your companines/employers HR policies on this.
    seriously.

    This isn't an issue at all, company policy openly allows staff to see each other, but don't really think thats going to be an issue for me anyway!
    Dreamer7 wrote:
    To put it bluntly, if she was unattractive would you think she fancied you, when we like someone its hard to see the wood for the trees.

    Good point, I probably would think she was keen if she was unattractive... I think.

    Am just not sure If I'm misinterpreting the signals - she is being flirtatious, but as I said is attached. Same goes for me, and even if I knew for a fact she was interested, I wouldn't necessarily act on it. Guess I'm just slightly confused - have never been the best at figuring out whats going on in a girls head.


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    #8
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    i'm not sure what your problem is. do you want people here to confirm that she is indeed flirting with you so you can do the dirt?

    at the risk of repeating myself.... if you are already in a relationship it shouldn't matter if she is attracted to you.


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    #9
    s10
    Registered Users Posts: 280 ✭✭s10


    if something nice happens between the two of u, the flirting will stop, raging hormones will take over , u'll find yourself wanting her , takin her in the toilets, under the desk , in the elevator . the excitment of flirting will have been takin over by a stronger desire.
    u'll have wood 40% of the day
    and you'll be the talk of the office for a few months.
    the choice is urs an urs only , good luck;)


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    #10
    slumped
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,946 ✭✭✭slumped


    s10 wrote:
    u'll have wood 40% of the day

    :D:D:D


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    #11
    Sherlock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 132 ✭✭Sherlock


    Did you really sit on HER lap?!


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    #12
    irishpartyboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 330 ✭✭irishpartyboy


    Sherlock wrote:
    Did you really sit on HER lap?!

    Is she pretty hefty then??


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    #13
    ferdi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    s10 wrote:
    u'll have wood 40% of the day
    pfft, i wish.


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    #14
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Fanny Cradock wrote:
    i'm not sure what your problem is. do you want people here to confirm that she is indeed flirting with you so you can do the dirt?

    at the risk of repeating myself.... if you are already in a relationship it shouldn't matter if she is attracted to you.

    I agree, I'm not really sure what the issue is. Yes, it sounds like you have a fun, flirty friendship with this girl and in a work environment it can make your day more amusing. Nice to have a bit of harmless fun. Depends whether you choose to act on it or not I guess and it sounds like not everything is stacked in your favour to be honest. Depends whether you want to jeopardise your own relationship, and hers, and then have to sit beside each other every day.


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    #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    What exacly are you looking for-do you want praise for saying that you have never cheated on your gf or because youve spent years faithful that you deserve or have served your sentence to now start doing the dirt!

    This is a personal opinion, people who cheat are cowards, you dont want to break up with your gf incase your left alone and are rejected by this girl instead test the waters a bit and see if this girl is interested while someone else who cares for you has no idea what is going on!! and what if it the girl in question gave you the opportunity would you treat it as an affair and keep both girls going and then see which one suits you best. Thats pathetic!!

    Can you honestly look at yourself and think that this is fair to your gf!! she deserves to find out what you have been doing before she wastes any more of her time on some one like you..


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    #16
    Kell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭Kell


    abc999 wrote:

    Am I getting hot under the collar over nothing??

    Oh FFS. Ask the girl out. That will answer your question in a jiffy.

    And, YES it really is that easy.

    K-


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    #17
    Muckmagnet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭Muckmagnet


    dont do it man , that stuff flies around the office, everyone will know in after a while . You'll get caught and her long term relationship would be ruined.


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    #18
    Lord Nikon
    Registered Users Posts: 3,609 ✭✭✭Lord Nikon


    If you are in a healthy relationship, is it worth throwing away. This other girl has your number too, what if she called you while you were with your girlfriend, explain that. What if she starts sending you flirtatous texts.

    If you love your girlfriend, you wouldn't stray away.


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    #19
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    Keep flirting (harmless flirting, not serious "something will happen" flirting), never go through with it. It'll make your working day go more quickly and nobody gets hurt.


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    #20
    spiritboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭spiritboy


    i think she's interested. i've been down that road myself recently. to hell what people in teh office say it's none of their damn business to be honest.

    the only problem i see is that you're attached. but if you really like this girl then you have to make a decision. would you give up everything you have on teh uncertainty? only you can answer that (as i did). i don't think it'd be fair to your partner to string her alomng while you're stepping out with this other lass. but that's your call. why notgo for lunch some day with this lass just the tweo of you and see what happens. and try keep it out of teh work place. though teh company policy may not say anything about it i know my boss has chewed my ass off over it before. so why not takle her to lunch some saturday or sunday. course then you'll have to make an excuse to your current Girlfriend on that one


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    #21
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    well its nice to know that you're thinking of your girlfriend through all of this!!


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    #22
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    Kell wrote:
    Oh FFS. Ask the girl out. That will answer your question in a jiffy.

    And, YES it really is that easy.

    K-

    he has a girlfriend. unless they have an "open" relationship or he wants to cheat (which i think is likely) then this is terrible advice.


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    #23
    takola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,138 ✭✭✭takola


    spiritboy wrote:
    so why not takle her to lunch some saturday or sunday. course then you'll have to make an excuse to your current Girlfriend on that one

    Hello? If i found out my fella had lied to me to take some other girl out to lunch on a sat or sun there'd be war!!! actually if i found out he'd lied to me to take another girl out ever there'd be war! :eek:

    OP.. you havent mentioned your relationship at all through this except to acknowledge that there is one! so.. is your relationship good or is it that its gone stale or you've gotten bored and want out?

    if it isnt then flirting in the office is fine, it passes the time! but try not to read too much more into it! she could just be having a laugh. and realistically you aren't the only one with someone to lose here!!!
    THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!!


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    #24
    trajan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭trajan


    it all depends on the kind of deathbed you want.
    The kind with all your family and friends around where you look back over a long, peaceful and pleasant life or the kind which is run down, mouldy and has you totally alone but looking back on a life where you did every last thing and took every opportunity. You can't take it with you baby!
    You know you want it or you wouldn't have come on here. Let this post be all the license you need!


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    #25
    koneko
    Registered Users Posts: 10,304 ✭✭✭✭koneko


    unreg123 wrote:
    Can you honestly look at yourself and think that this is fair to your gf!! she deserves to find out what you have been doing before she wastes any more of her time on some one like you..

    Tell his girlfriend? Tell her what? He isn't cheating on her. You're being too harsh, tbh.

    OP, unless you're unhappy with your girlfriend and you're going to break up with her, leave it at harmless flirting but no more than that. You don't want to cheat on your girlfriend, that's the impression I get anyway, so don't do anything with this girl.


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