long term relationship?

LegacyUser

hi there
just wondering was there many others out there in a situation like mine? I ve been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend since I was 19 years old, I am now nearly 25..we have been going out for a little over five years..I am still madly in love with him, but lately we have had discussions about our relationship and whether we got involved too young and whether it is too serious...its kinda like a precursor to a break up, which makes me feel sick inside because I know that I am meant to be with this person and have always known..we are still carrying on although it is really hard at the moment because he is still in college and wont be finished til mid may and that involves some distance apart..so its tough going.. I think we will be ok, but parts of me are worried sick about this..Just wondering does every couple in a ltr stumble across this 'are we meant to be together or is it that its just become the norm?' hurdle at some point in their relationship..if so have things still worked out? we are going away for six weeks in June and always have the best time when we travel, have similar interests, same sense of humour, have a good physical relationship, are the best of friends..I would be devestated if I lost him but hope thats its just a phase we are going through in the relationship, after all they can't always be rosy in the garden. He is coming to the end of his college career now and I think its more that then anything else thats making him confused, fear of life after college etc.any ones thoughts would be welcome

Dreamer 7

Im in a similar situation, have been with my fiancee for 6 yrs since i was 18. Its only now at 25 that Im realising what i want and that maybe it wont include him...always..
However we have 2 beautiful children so things are no as clear cut as you. U get so used to loving them it doesnt feel "wow" anymore. We have had a bad patch where we wondered if this was really meant to be, and if i am very honest if it was not for the kids we probably would have gone our seperate ways years ago. People change, their needs change and they cant help it. Talk to him and see what he has planned once college is finished. It may or may not include you, but at least you will know and not worrying anymore.:)
It could be alot harder , he could be the father of your children and then you have to think of their welfare before your own. Live a little before stressing yourself out over your first love. What is for you will not pass you

jdwals

Ltr - asked her out on my 18th birthday (easy to remember the anniverary!!!) and she said yes. Now in July we will have been together for 11 years - long time.
Over that time, we spent our first year going out with each other and working in the same supermarket, then the next four years I moved away to Dublin for college and we decided that we would not break up. After four years the distance thing came to a head and she moved up to Dublin to be with me.
Now here we are, still together.
I think it is natural that people in ltr's will experience some rough patches along the way. People do sometimes question who they are, where they are and where they are going and that is natural - both parties in a relationship will do it at some stage.
The key is keeping the relationship enjoyable and fun. It is also important that while being close to each other you also give each other space to develop your own hobbies and intrestes, after all you are two seperate people - not clones of each other!
My girlfriend did a lot of the work in keeping us together. Being romantic and funny. Moving to Dublin was a big step and she took it to keep us going.
Some times I wonder if we did not meet when we were too young and that can be a case in some relationships that begin from a young age but my acid test is and always has been do we have fun and enjoy each others company?
My girlfriend and I share a laugh and a joke every single day we meet up, which is basically seven days a week, 360 odd days of the year.
I think if you can do that - then you have a strong basis to over come the rough patches that life will through up and have a great chance of being together well into the future, and hopfully for life!

OrangeOranges

Exact same position but from a blokes point of view. 5 years through college and break-up after cos "met young".

Its really tough to seperate from someone who you spent so long with. I've done it and its really really really really...............:> tough.

We broke up with the intention of getting back together after some time apart. We didnt get back together.

Everything changes when you get that time apart. But its not for the worst. You're actually are able to get some perspective on the relationship and decide whether its for you. Personally speaking while its tough, its probably for the best.

Imagine waking up in 10 years time. Still in the same relationship wondering what if.......

IMO break-up; if ye get back together after say 1year; then its meant to be. If not well then its because either both or one of the two of ye doesnt really want to be in the relationship. And whats the point in that?

Here's the real real real biggy though. While the above makes sense (IMO) could you handle the fact that your partner will probably have slept with how many other people?