Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

What stage can you say "I love you"

Options
  • 27-03-2006 11:46am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    What stage, if there is any, is it ok or normal to tell someone that you love them? Im seeing a guy for 2 months and think am falling for him. Is it a bit soon?


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    manonthemoon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 570 ✭✭✭manonthemoon


    F*** it. Go for it;)


  • Options
    #3
    CoolGuy2006
    Closed Accounts Posts: 286 ✭✭CoolGuy2006


    Well generally speaking, if you love someone, why not say it. Its hard for anyone else to judge because you say 2 months. Some people can really bond alot quicker than others. Some people wait years for their partner to say it.

    Ask yourself, Do you really "love" this person. Will you be expecting them to say it back, could their reaction be a problem.

    2 months isnt that early, it aint that long either. I dont think anyone here can really answer that question for you. If you really love someone and you want to tell them, TELL THEM :-)
    Life is too Short and its only a word anyway. You should make him or her feel it and you should feel it too.

    Group hug everyone


  • Options
    #4
    misswex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 745 ✭✭✭misswex


    You should say when you feel it. There are no hard or fast rules but don't expect him to say it back to you, let him say it to you when he feels ready.


  • Options
    #5
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Relationships wrote:
    What stage, if there is any, is it ok or normal to tell someone that you love them?
    When you love them.


  • Options
    #6
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Relationships wrote:
    What stage, if there is any, is it ok or normal to tell someone that you love them? Im seeing a guy for 2 months and think am falling for him. Is it a bit soon?

    If you "think" you're falling for him are you really sure you actually LOVE him? 2 very different things. I wouldn't say it without meaning it. It's easy to get infatuated and that's cool but telling someone you love them takes it to a new level. Are you expecting him to say that he loves you too? No rules as far as love is concerned, no hard and fast rules as someone mentioned, but just make sure you really mean it before saying it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well, I told him that I was falling for him (bit under the influence!). He didnt say much (didnt want to force it), then last night he told me that he thinks hes falling for me too.

    Both of us were in 5-7 yr relationships before this. Am bit conscious of getting heart broken again. But nothing ventured nothing gained I guess.

    Neither of us have actually said the word "love" yet.

    Am just worried I brought this up too soon and putting pressure/expectations on the relationship.


  • Options
    #8
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Why should it be an issue. Say it when you say.

    Does saying you love someone really take a relationship to a new level?

    As Tal says above, say it when your in love.


  • Options
    #9
    Dathai
    Registered Users Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭Dathai


    Doesn't matter if you say you love the person, and they dont say it back.I matters when you feel you are in love with the person and they dont say it back.
    There's a difference between saying you're in love, and actually being in love.
    Best of luck anyways.


  • Options
    #10
    Loomis
    Registered Users Posts: 2,692 ✭✭✭Loomis


    Relationships wrote:
    Well, I told him that I was falling for him (bit under the influence!). He didnt say much (didnt want to force it), then last night he told me that he thinks hes falling for me too.

    Both of us were in 5-7 yr relationships before this. Am bit conscious of getting heart broken again. But nothing ventured nothing gained I guess.

    Neither of us have actually said the word "love" yet.

    Am just worried I brought this up too soon and putting pressure/expectations on the relationship.

    To be honest I wouldn't worry about him.Or how he's reacting.
    You're both out of very serious relationships so if you were simply a fling to him,a bit of fun after a long term relationship, then he simply would have said "Eh ye thanks" and legged it.The fact he's with you know and pretty much said it back to you would suggest he's genuine about it and thinks you and the relationship are special,or at least could develop into something special


  • Options
    #11
    py2006
    Registered Users Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭py2006


    I would be careful with the "L" word if I were you! You could scare him off!

    I was going out with a girl a few years back now and after a few weeks she started saying the "L" word. It freaked me out as I felt we didn't really know each other that well yet. I certainly wasn't in love with her but was enjoying her company. But I had to end it as the longer I stayed with her the more hurt she would get.

    Unless, you are feeling the a similar vibe from your partner I would wait a while before saying it. You are only with each other a couple months after all. You don't know this person inside out yet.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Just dont say it in any place where youve had or have sex or during sex or just before or just after. That advice goes double for men.


  • Options
    #13
    ferdi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,598 ✭✭✭ferdi


    'i'm not in love' by 10cc - listen to it.
    its about 'love' being too important a word to use very often or lightly - you've got to be sure.
    good luck.


  • Options
    #14
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Canis Lupus wrote:
    Does saying you love someone really take a relationship to a new level?

    Depends on the circumstances but generally I would say yes, yes it does. Depends how the relationship is construed by both parties. Is it completely cool if he doesn't reciprocate the declaration? 2 months down the line is still relatively new etc and might be viewed as a casual bit of fun/enjoying the other person's company after such a long relationship so saying something so mega could cement the relationship and give it more meaning or could result in the other party being absolutely petrified or whatever. Either way, yeah, definitley changes things imo.


  • Options
    #15
    Kinetic^
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    There's no set time, it's different for all relationships. When I first said it, it was 10 months into our relationship, she said it back too. A friend said it 5 months into the relationship, his gf said it back...however I found out later that she didn't mean it at first but did a short time afterwards.

    So if you love him/her, they may not feel the same way at this moment in time but there's nothing saying that he/she won't in the future.


  • Options
    #16
    el tel
    Registered Users Posts: 2,991 ✭✭✭el tel


    Every situation is different but in general I don't think anyone should say it unless they are 100% sure of it. There's no point in saying it only to have to rescind later.

    If it's a girl saying it, doing it so soon could be a bit much for a guy who might see it as whimsical on her part.

    A guy saying it so soon to a girl could be construed as a desperate effort to get into her panties.

    Are you a girl or a guy by the way? If you are the latter, it would be interesting to see how a (gay) fella would react to a chap saying it so soon.


  • Options
    #17
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Have decided that I wont be saying the L word for a bit. Letting him know that I am falling for him, I think, is enough for now. Dont want any pressure.


  • Options
    #18
    ST*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭ST*


    Relationships wrote:
    Have decided that I wont be saying the L word for a bit. Letting him know that I am falling for him, I think, is enough for now. Dont want any pressure.

    It is enough for now, he has said he is falling for you too - so you have nothing to worry about there. ILY's shouldn't be thrown around imo, and said only when you are very sure.


  • Options
    #19
    Shellie13
    Closed Accounts Posts: 346 ✭✭Shellie13


    One time heard it wafter 2 weeks- and it was right!
    NO set time...othertimes waited months!!!


  • Options
    #20
    Dreamer 7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭Dreamer 7


    When i met my fiancee for the first time i knew i was meeting then man I was meant for, i was never into settling down or looking for love it just happened

    Anyway he told me he loved me after 3 days! and got my name tatooed on his arm after 2 months!

    We are still going strong 6 yrs later so the point of my rmable is if it feels right go with the flow :D


Advertisement