Im so confused

LegacyUser

Ok....with a girl for over year and we broke about a year ago..always kept in contact...met up...went to cinema etc...also slept with eachother on a few occasions..

So anyway,met up with her a while ago and she said she missed me etc, and I miss her too, shes going away for a while soon and Im just wondering should I tell her how I really feel...I can honestly see myself marrying this girl,theres only one thing that annoys me, she doesnt tell her friends that she meets up with me, she is not the kind of person who would play me as I know she loves me and I know what she is like but I just feel like an idiot..I dont even know how to approach her on this. I kinda feel like her "bit of rough".....

Should I give her an ultimatim?
You know something...I wish life was easy

TheNog

i was faced with a similar situation a few years and i bit the bulllet and blurted out how i felt about a girl. Although it was a bit embarrassing and she didn't feel the same about me, i'm glad i did it.


tell her how u feel but don't make any ultimatums 'cos she may become defensive. U need to take this chance before she goes away or you will be kicking urself for years to come. u never know she may be happy u made the first move or she may never want to speak to u again so be prepared for either scenario.

at least u'll know how she feels.

BeardyGit

If you want to tell her you love her, do so. Try not to get your hopes to high though as it certainly sounds like she's not looking for a relationship with you at this time. If she's making plans to travel, don't stand in her way, particularly if you do care about her - Tell her how you feel and leave it with her to decide what's best for her, without undue pressure. Also, if she doesn't want to tell her friends, that's her choice and more than that, it's a good indicator that you are indeed her "bit of rough", at least for the moment.

People who give ultimatums deserve to have it work against them. You appear reasonable enough so I'm sure you already realise that....

Cheers,

Gil

MaxBax

I've always wondered about the dynamic of these relationships. You go out with someone, you're friends, you love each other, at least you think you do, you have sex. Then you break up, still continue to hang out, and occasionally sleep together.

Mr OP, I assume this girl broke up with you. But you continued to have an affair with each other, but she kept it hidden from her friends and family. I find this type of behaviour (however common) really confussing. Does she sleep with other people? Do you?

I would certainly be surprised if this relationship has a viable long term future.

With regards to advice, I would go with the consensus. Tell her how you feel, at least imply it. Try and get the message across that you still "LIKE" her and would be open to the idea of taking things more seriously again ---ie--- going out with each other again on some kind of formal basis. However, I would agree, trying to force a commitment out of her may severe the relationship completely (which may or may not be a good thing).

Keep us posted.