problem

LegacyUser

there's this girl in work. she was the new girl and didn't really know anyone when she arrived so i started to talk to her and we became friends. we've become quite close - she confides personal problems in me. the problem is that i've developed feelings for her. i can't act on them cos i'm a girl too. and she has a boyfriend.
what should i do? she's told me i'm the only person she can trust and she'd be suicical without me, but is it fair on her for me to have feelings for her?

jcoote

if she feels suicdal without u then she's either a drama queen or has severe problems..i wouldn't take on that kinda project if i were u but hey if u want to maybe suss out how her and her fella are gettin on...

also alot of feelings towards someone will develop when they confide in you...intimacy of that kind can create a want for intamcy of the couple kind..have a think before u do anything

alantc

Rape her like there's no legal system.

Suaimhneach

Havent you been banned?

Also, OP, sounds like a lot of effort and an emotionally unstable girl. Not the kind you want to be falling for tbh. Be careful.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Help her as much as you can/want but keep your distance...

Gordon

Wow, atlantc banned for the length of time a rapist would get in prison.

hullaballoo

Just let her decide. If you're interested in her, there's really fcuk-all you can do about that, so let that be. If she's seriously interested in you, then she shouldn't be in the relationship with the other guy. Just be careful not to put any pressure on her at all. Let her come to you, and if it's meant to happen, it will.

hullaballoo

Gordon wrote:

Wow, atlantc banned for the length of time a rapist would get in prison.

The Debra Lafave-type rapist, or the Garry Glitter-type?

LundiMardi

even if she felt the same as you, i'd stay clear away, the girl has issues, run a mile!

pyramuid man

Things like this happen all the time. My advice is to steer clear of it unless your colleague shows that she feels the same way as you. Simple as. If you display your feelings towards her and she is not interested then there is a possibility for you to lose your friendship with her which at this time I presume you find quite valuable as you have developed these feelings. If this is meant to be then let it happen in due course and do not try and force her into a position where you might end up losing her. Her state of mind is irrelevant as you have obviously developed feelings for her regardless of this.

One other possibility is that because this person seems to nearly depend on you for confidence, you may have developed these feeling for her out of pity and not of desire?

Gordon

(1 week! )

LegacyUser

Do you have any reason to think your colleague might have bisexual leanings? Id imagine it'd be very easy to confuse close friendship with something more intimate, particularly for a girl.

Crucifix

Is she into women? Actually, that's not important. She has a boyfriend, so leave it alone.

scoey

crushonworkgirl wrote:

there's this girl in work. she was the new girl and didn't really know anyone when she arrived so i started to talk to her and we became friends. we've become quite close - she confides personal problems in me. the problem is that i've developed feelings for her. i can't act on them cos i'm a girl too. and she has a boyfriend.
what should i do? she's told me i'm the only person she can trust and she'd be suicical without me, but is it fair on her for me to have feelings for her?

She'd be suicidal without you? What an emotionally manipulative thing to say to someone. I suggest you run far far away.

rsta

crushonworkgirl wrote:

there's this girl in work. she was the new girl and didn't really know anyone when she arrived so i started to talk to her and we became friends. we've become quite close - she confides personal problems in me. the problem is that i've developed feelings for her. i can't act on them cos i'm a girl too. and she has a boyfriend.
what should i do? she's told me i'm the only person she can trust and she'd be suicical without me, but is it fair on her for me to have feelings for her?

Just take a step back from the situation. Dont do anything ...yet anyway.

Theres obviously a lot more to take into consideration. how old are you? Is it just a crush? If you are very young its quite normal to have a samesex crush. It doesnt mean u are gay. But maybe u are u a lesbian or bi? she has a boyfriend so i dont think she would be too happy if u 'acted' on your feelings. why dont u just be her friend for the time being?
She must be going through a really rough time if she says she is suicdal so just be her mate for now. See how things go over the next while......

LegacyUser

i dont mean to act on my feelings! that is one thing i wont do. i mean what would be best - for me to ignore her for a while and hope the feelings go away, or keep as it is and just hide them?

LegacyUser

If you step back and take a look at this from her perspective, you're her friend and from the sounds of things, probably her closest ally in the world. Ignoring her in the hope that your feelings go away would be letting your friend down. If thats what you consider to be your only option at the moment short of telling her how you feel and hoping she's ok with it, then you've nothing to lose by telling her that you wouldn't be losing anyway by shaking her off.

Hiding your feelings could just leave you in a more painful situation the closer ye get, and would definately turn frustrating for you. Ask yourself if you can cope with that, and if its worth it. It may well be.

astrofool

Is your boss a Mr. Brent per chance?